From “I’m Failing” to Confident Leader in 3 Months (with Mallory Young)

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Today, I’m joined by Mallory Young, a working mom of 2 and a graduate of the Ambitious and Balanced group coaching program - who gives us an honest, behind-the-scenes look at her transformation. From feeling like she was failing at everything to stepping into a new leadership role with confidence and clarity, Mallory shares how she shifted her mindset, mastered the work-to-home transition, and finally started living a life that feels sustainable. If you’ve been curious what actually happens inside the program (or wondering if it could help you), this is the episode you don’t want to miss.  

Topics in this episode:

  • What it’s really like to join Ambitious and Balanced (from someone who did it!) 

  • How Mallory went from constant guilt and overwhelm to peace and clarity 

  • The work-to-home transition ritual that changed everything 

  • What it means to normalize your struggles (and stop beating yourself up) 

  • Why group coaching might be exactly what you need—even if you’re a skeptic 

Show Notes & References:

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Transcript

Intro

What a special treat I have for you on the podcast today. Today, for the first time, I am interviewing one of my clients that has gone through the ambitious and balanced program. Yes, that's my three month group coaching program that basically takes all of the strategies and tips that I teach right here on the podcast and I put it into a three month program. And so Mallory Young has come onto the podcast to chat with me about her experience. If you've been wondering if this is really the right program for you, if you're a good fit, and what really takes place inside the ambitious and balanced group coaching program this episode is going to be for you. Mallory's gonna talk a lot about where she was at when she started the program, the feelings of failure, the thoughts of failure that she was having all of the time, the radical shifts that took place during the three month program, and then what has happened since then. It's such a great story. You're not going to want to miss it. You re ready, working moms. Let's get to it.

Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms Podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom. I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.

First Ever Ambitious and Balanced Client Interview on the Podcast

Rebecca: All right, working moms, I have a real treat for you. For the first time ever. First time. I don't know if Mallory really realizes this, but for the first time, I am having somebody that has been a part of my Ambitious and Balanced group coaching program come onto this podcast and share her experience with us of the group she was in.

My very first cohort that started back last fall, back in October. It ended at the end of January. And here she is to talk all about her experience. I'm so grateful that she's here. Thank you, Mallory, for being here.

Mallory: Yes, hello. Thank you for having Rebecca. I did not know I was the first of the cohort. So excited to share.

Rebecca: You are. I know. So tell us a little bit about yourself just so we have some concept of who you are and your family and your kids, what you do and stuff like that.

Meet Mallory: Mom of Two Boys Balancing Work and Family

Mallory: Yeah, yeah. Mallory Young. I am currently out of Northern Virginia. I've lived here about seven years with my husband and we have two young boys. We have an almost four-year-old in June and a just-turned one-year-old. And I work from home, actually. I'm a designer. And yeah, life is as fun and a little chaotic, but it is really.

Rebecca: Good for a lot chaotic. One and four is some, you know, that's in the trenches on some level.

Mallory: So, yes, every day is a fun new adventure.

Rebecca: Yeah. So good. Well, I'm excited to hear what you have to say to share your experience with the listeners. Like, our goal here for you out there is to just give you a sense, a flavor of what joining Ambitious and Balanced would be like for you.

To get a sense of the kind of women that come into this program, the things that they learn, what they walk away with, their experience, their wins, you know. And so we're gonna hear all that here today.

So, Mallory, can you just paint a picture for us of what life was like before you started Ambitious and Balanced? Like, what were some of the challenges or the frustrations that you were kind of dealing with that even led you to even consider this in the first place?

“Constantly Failing at Expectations” – Life Before Coaching

Mallory: Yeah, for sure. So like I said, I currently have a just-turned one-year-old. So when this kind of started off back in the fall, I had only been back to work for a few months at that time.

I'm sure folks can remember, like, coming back from leave, like, my brain stopped working. Like, it was very, very slow at that point. My baby was not sleeping through the night, which, you know, like, adds some fun new things onto it.

My toddler was very much getting used to having a little brother who was starting to move around and steal things. And then on top of that, like, work was work always, you know, kind of up and downs. And so I feel like, you know, regular work is... I'm fine and used to it, but coming back from leave and with kind of this new family life, it was definitely like, okay. Like, what. What is happening again? Like, this is a little bit crazy.

Yeah. And even reflecting back, like, I feel like I constantly had expectations of myself that I was constantly failing at. Like, comparing post-parental-leave-two-children Mallory to, you know, even nine months earlier, like, at work, I was a completely different person.

Just because, you know, you're a different person and that's okay. And I was not okay with that with myself. And so I was just constantly failing these expectations of how I should be at work and how I should be at home, you know, with my kids, with my partner. And so it was just a little bit just like constant failing all of the time.

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah. That internal dialogue was super negative for you. And how were you clued into that at the time?

Mallory: No, I was not. I feel like I kept on telling myself, like, oh, this is the new normal. Like, this is just what life is post-baby. And I feel like it wasn't really until I had the time to reflect.

And I think also as, like, you know, working women, at least for me, like, just a lot of internalized shame around that decision. Like, I love my job. I love being a parent. I actually come from a family of six girls, and I'm the only one that has ever, like, sent my kids to daycare and worked. So I think, you know, coming from...

Rebecca: Like, even like family expectations and—

Mallory: It's one of those, like, I don't think anybody ever judged me, but I kind of internalized that. Like there were judgments over that choice. But, like, I love the decisions that I made, but it was very hard to kind of grapple with internally and be okay with, which again, everybody was fine with it except for me, maybe.

The Three C’s of Balance: Clarity, Confidence, and Control

Rebecca: Yeah, you know, we work on three things, right, in this program—the three C's. We talk about clarity, clarifying your priorities. We talk about confidence, which is kind of what we're talking about here. It's like that internal self-talk.

And then we talk about control—like controlling your time and your calendar and your commitments and all the things. And so I love watching women see their life looks great on the outside and yet things aren't great.

And when we really start to dig into it, the recognition of how impactful your mind is and that self-talk and that talk track that you have about yourself is everything when it comes to work-life balance.

Like, it doesn't matter how amazing your life is on the outside, if on the inside you are berating yourself and you are feeling like you're failing everybody all the time and your expectations are misaligned... when you have that shame and that guilt and “I'm not doing enough” and “I'm not good enough” and “I'm failing everyone” and “I'm not a good mom”—

Even if it's subtle. Even if it's on the subconscious level, right? That is going to create an immense amount of imbalance and havoc in your life.

“I Snapped at My Kids and Ruined My Whole Night”

Mallory: Yeah, for sure. And even thinking back before our sessions together, I feel like, you know, when I did feel those, like, it stayed with me for a long time too. Where it was like, just like, I was like, oh, my gosh. I snapped at my kids and, like, ruined, like, honestly my whole night.

And I'm like, I am a bad mom. No, you know, mother who loves their children does this. When I feel like it just, like, lingered with me for a lot of time. And so I think we can get into that of, like, using tools, helping us. We're human. Some of those things happen.

Rebecca: I have a feeling, as we're going to talk about this journey through this program, like, a lot of this was the shift of all of this stuff going on internally. Right? Because, again, on the outside, things were pretty good. Good job, great husband, good kids, all the things.

You know, it's just how you were perceiving it on the inside that really needed to shift. So what made you ultimately decide to join this program? Maybe even if there were some hesitations or doubts, or maybe there wasn't. I don't know. What made you decide?

Why Mallory Joined Ambitious and Balanced

Mallory: Yeah, for sure. Initially, the reason why this kind of came up—like, you were not on my radar at all, to be quite honest. And I was talking to my manager, who has actually gone through your coaching, and talking about all this. Just like, man, I'm really struggling with work. Like, I'm struggling kind of balancing these two kids.

She was like, oh, do I have someone that you should connect with and kind of talk about? And so she immediately was like, you should check this out. It could help, like, it helped me. It's been a really great resource.

And I remember, like, our first kickoff call, one of the things that was in my mind, I was like, I don't know, Rebecca. Like, I feel like none of this is that, like, no offense. Like, none of this is that groundbreaking. Right? Like, you just, like, it's right. Exactly.

And I remember you being like, yes, it's not. But, like, I can teach you the shortcuts to get there. Like, you don't have to do this by yourself. Like, I know what works because I've done it with, you know, hundreds of women. Like, I have the recipe.

Yes, you can find it out by yourself, and many people have. But, like, you also don't need to do it yourself. And I think that I am all for... like, I don't want to think too hard if I don't need to. Like, perfect. Yes. Like, teach me the way. I will happily do this.

And so I think it was definitely, like, yeah, shortcuts. And, like, why not? Like, at the end of the day, I doubt anything in this will, like, make my life harder or worse. Like, if anything, it will stay neutral. And, like, if any benefit comes out of it, that will be perfect. You know, like, all the better.

“It’s Not Rocket Science… But Actually Doing It Is Everything”

Rebecca: Oh, little did you know. Little did you know. It's true. I mean, I think sometimes I struggle with this sometimes myself. Like, sometimes I think I'm teaching things that feel so obvious or so basic, even. I've been teaching them for years and years and years now.

So sometimes I have to come back and remember how revolutionary it is to actually put these things into practice. Like, I can tell you what it takes to prioritize. You probably already know it's going to take saying no, and it's going to take putting up better boundaries.

And you're going to need to prioritize yourself, and you're going to have to manage competing priorities, and you're gonna... I mean, yeah, yeah. It's not. If you really, like, stopped and thought about it and took just even 10 minutes to write down probably what you have to do to create a life that feels more balanced—right? It isn't rocket science.

But actually doing it is a whole nother story.

Mallory: Ye.

Rebecca: Right. It's like implementation of it is everything. Right. Which is why this program is so short, to be honest. Three months. Like, I really did think about how fast can I get you to implement? Right. How fast can I get you to do that? What are the tools I need to teach you to do it quickly?

And in three months, like, women are feeling way better. Within weeks even. We were just talking about that. Like, even just making the investment of time and energy and resources and all the things. All of a sudden, something clicked in you. Right. Like, you made a commitment in a different way.

“Permission to Say No” – The Breakthrough Moment

Mallory: Yeah. And I think a lot of it was also like, yes to all of that. And I think, like, you just... like, kind of like another person giving me permission to say no.

Like, I remember one of the things that you had mentioned in one of our calls was instead of everything being like, every ask is an automatic yes, it was like, every ask should be an automatic no unless it meets XYZ criteria.

It's like, oh, you're right. Like, I can say no. Like, every request does not mean, like, yes, I will do it no matter what. It's like, actually no, like, I cannot meet that. Or somebody else needs to tap in.

And I think just giving myself permission was something I would probably never come to by myself. But yeah, just having you be, like, you know, a third-party person, like, hey, you can. You don't have to do all of these things. Like, oh, that is a good point. I do not. Like, I'm an adult. Things don't work. And that's okay.

Rebecca: I love it. I love it. So can you share, like, a breakthrough moment that you had during the program? You know, maybe it was like a mindset shift or a tool or an action or something like that that really stands out to you as a big part of this process for you?

Struggling with the Work to Home Transition

Mallory: Yeah. And I think, like, when I was thinking on this, two things that came immediately to mind. I think the first is like something… yeah, something I still struggle with, to be honest. And we have talked about this a lot, is like the work to home transition.

And again, like, feelings of all these guilts. Typically what happens is, like I said, I work from home. My husband gets our kids from daycare and brings them home. So while I'm finishing up my day, I can hear my kids like, you know, banging on the door, crying for mama.

And I'm like, oh my gosh, why am I at work? Like, I'm missing out on so much time again. My husband is perfectly capable. But I think, like, the guilt of, like, why did I choose this for myself? Well, I'm prioritizing, you know, work over my family. And so I think a lot of guilt was coming into play.

Rebecca: Yeah, it's so hard not to have that guilt. I mean, like, just—we normalize that. Literally, if your kid is knocking on the door and you're like, I can't pay attention to you, I have to finish this thing at work, it literally feels like you're choosing work over your family.

Because you are. Yes, exactly. And. But rather than internalizing that as a negative thing, right, like, we're working to not internalize it in that way and to shift the way we think about that and the whole zoom out—see the whole picture, what's going on.

It doesn't mean you're a bad mom. All the things. Right. But yeah, literally, that's how it felt. Like, so. Yeah, keep going.

Creating Boundaries: Closing Out the Workday

Mallory: Yeah, totally. And I feel like something we talked about is like, what are ways, like even drowning out the noise, like physically. Like, I put in my headphones, I jam out to music. So I'm like, I'm trying to like, I need to just focus on this.

Sometimes it just takes like five minutes. I'm like, I just need to finish all my work so everything in my head can be out. And so when I am with my kids, I can 100% be with my kids instead of like, oh, I forgot to do that. Like, let me quickly write that down so I don't forget that, you know?

And so I think, yeah, that work-from-home transition of like taking the time to actually close out my day instead of, oh, my kids are home, that means my work is done. But it's like, I get to decide when my workday is done.

And I think another thing that we talked about as well, like similar to this, is like visualizing kind of like how the day will go. As we mentioned, I have a one-year-old and a three-year-old, very energetic all the time.

So it's like, okay, I know we're going to be playing Paw Patrol at dinner. How do I react to this? Because I do not like playing Paw Patrol at dinner, but I know that is the best way to get my 4-year-old to eat.

Like, okay, I know there's gonna be a lot of emotional outbursts because it's Thursday and we are ready for the weekend. Like, how do I deal with that? And I think again, just taking the time to like ground myself and, like, this is my reality and, like, help me be better prepared for those moments.

Like that all along with the work-to-home transition, like, helped a ton. And again, like, simple things, just like, yep, closing out my to-do list, like dotting my I's, crossing my T's, and then just like taking a moment to be like, okay, I am now finished with work. I am going. Instead of just like walking downstairs, like, I am physically and mentally transitioning from one to the other.

“The Work to Home Transition Is Everything”

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah. That. And this work-to-home transition is one of the two kind of anchor practices that I teach in this program. Right. Again, I am not about wanting to give homework for homework's sake and like inundate you with a whole bunch of content.

Like, we're working moms, we don't have time for any of that. So I boiled—I’ve got so many tools I can give, and yet I really have boiled it down to two really imperative practices if you're going to create sustainable work-life balance.

And you've been talking about one of them, which is the work-to-home transition and how important that moment is. That transition moment is for us as moms to feel like we did good at our job, and we were valuable, and we achieved, and we were successful.

And then to, like, close that down and to context-switch on some level into family life and to kind of reengage our mind in a different way to show up and be present with them. Like, this moment is everything.

Right. And when you learn how to master this moment and do it well, you are, you're going to open yourself up to feeling so much better about your work and feeling like you can actually be present and be Ryder. If you wanna be Ryder in Paw Patrol dinner—whichever course you want.

Mallory: Want to be.

Rebecca: I don't know, Marshall, I don't know which one is your favorite, but you can actually be present and on some level enjoy some of those moments or a lot of the time hopefully enjoy those moments. Right?

Mallory: For sure.

Practicing the Transition Daily

Rebecca: I love it. I love it. I love that. That practice, which we literally practiced every day and we tried to—we got everybody getting in this habit of like, this is what we do, this transition.

I walked you through exactly how to do it. Like, I love that that was such an anchoring practice for you.

Mallory: Yeah. And like I said, that was definitely one of those, like, wow, this is what it could be. Like, it's not just walking right into chaos. It's like taking a moment even to recognize that I am walking into chaos. Like, even just that acceptance. I feel like it's such a big thing too.

Rebecca: Yes. Yes. I love that. I. That. So how did you notice yourself changing? You kind of work at home as a mom, you know, within yourself, kind of throughout this program?

Recognizing Patterns and Triggers

Mallory: Yeah, I think, like, a lot of it is, like there was a lot of pattern recognizing in myself. And I think, like, I can just, like, recognize my triggers a lot more and, like, kind of understand how I respond to triggers, which, again, is like, I've never taken the time to do that reflection before.

So I think that was, like, super, super valuable. Like, some of my, you know, big triggers that actually came into head during our program and, like, still continues to be. My youngest has actually had a number of, like, breathing problems, and we've actually been in the hospital multiple times with him just in the past few months. Like, again, very kind of, like, high-stress environments.

And even just like, okay, I know it's a trigger when I'm trying to balance a young child at home, you know, that wants to, like, throw himself down the stairs every two minutes or, you know, needs to be held during a nap because he's a baby. And also, like, working.

And I feel like those are, like—that is a repetitive thing that happens more times than I would like to admit because, you know, he's in daycare and he's a year and still getting his immune system up.

But I think, again, just like being able to recognize the pattern, that's like, this is how I deal with that stress. Like, I know immediately when that happens. Like, I know what I should do with my calendar. I know who I need to inform, and, like, I just have, like, a checklist of, like, okay, when Lewis is sick, I review my calendar, I move all of these meetings. I know I'm going to be unable to talk, so I'm gonna, like, hand off my working notes to this person to be able to communicate.

And I just feel, like, so much more well-prepared. Like, at the end of the day, yes, I'm still trying to work, and I still have a young kiddo at home. And, like, sometimes that goes great, and other times I'm, like, sitting on the couch for eight hours. I'm like, you know, that's fine too.

Spotting the Signs of Burnout

Mallory: But I think just, like, understanding how I react and then also similar to that, like, you know, when I have these stressors that happen multiple days in a row, being able to be like, oh, I'm getting a headache, which is, like, my clue that, like, I am being burned out and, like, I am being stressed.

So it's like, yes, that works for one day or two days. But like, hey, now I recognize, like, even if my kid is at daycare, like, I now need a day. Like, I'm going to be working half day or taking a full day off so, like, I can recover. Or else I'm, like, not going to be very productive at work.

And so I think those have been, like—just, like, being able to recognize that pattern has, like, been super helpful for me.

Letting Go of Guilt and Choosing What Works

Mallory: And even, like, another one is, like, I was mentioning, like, Paw Patrol at dinner. I detest that. Like, I am not into imaginative play as much as my 4-year-old is.

And I feel like, again, as we're talking about just, like, giving yourself permission to do things. Like, I don't like doing that, so I don't anymore. And I'm like, my husband is really great at that. Like, I will sit and enjoy their banter where, yeah, one is Ryder, one is Marshall. They're rescuing, you know, Chickaletta, done whatever. Yeah, exactly.

And I'm like, I do. Like, that is not my thing as a parent, and that's okay. And I think, again, leading to, like, previously, a lot of guilt of, like, this just makes me very frustrated. Like, eat your dang dinner. That's what we're supposed to be doing. Instead of, like, this is, you know, how we do it.

And so instead of approaching that with just, like, frustration, just like, it's a dinner and a show, and that is okay. Like, I will focus on, you know, like, okay, in between rescues, here, take a bite of your sandwich or, like, you know, whatever else. And I can just, like, enjoy it instead of, I feel, being stressed about, like, this is not time to play, it's time to eat.

And it's like, he's four. Like, that's what he does, and that's okay.

Accepting the Season You’re In

Mallory: Yeah. So I think just, yeah, a lot of pattern recognition and just a lot of, like, acceptance of, like, this is what we're in right now. And that's, like, okay.

Rebecca: Yep. Yeah. I mean, we can't do anything about changing patterns. We can't. We can't change habits. We can't change thought patterns. We can't change mindsets. We can't change the way we're talking about ourselves. We can't change the way we're feeling unless we have awareness to exactly what it is. Right.

And on some level, if you take a step back, you could probably self-identify a handful of things. But to really recognize, like, when I think this and I feel this way, I do this. And when I do this, this leads to feeling burned out. This leads to me being unhappy. This leads to me snapping at my kids. This leads me to saying yes to too many things. This leads me to overworking.

When you understand those patterns—and we do a lot of pattern identification on some level in this program, right—and then being able to, like, come and say, what do I do about the pattern? You know, like, what do I do? Like, that's the sweet spot of this program, is teaching you what to do.

Right. But until you know what it is and see all the connections between it, you're kind of in the dark, right? There's nothing you can do about changing it.

Speaking Up and Vocalizing Needs

Mallory: Yeah. And I think, like, especially, like, relating back to work. I think, again, with, like, you're unable to do anything unless you recognize it and also vocalize it. Even today, somebody was like, hey, can you do XYZ by next week? And I was like, I can't. Like, you can prioritize.

And they were like, oh, no problem. Like, I can take this from you. And it's like, great. That's even better, you know? And it's like, if I hadn't vocalized that… yeah, it's like, o.

Rebecca: And then somebody else did it.

Mallory: Exactly. Yeah. So it's one of those things that's like, you know, at work, at least—for all adults, maybe not at home life—but, you know, it's like if we share those things, nobody can kind of, like, help us get to where we need to be.

And so just being able to, yes, recognize, vocalize it. And then, you know, either, you know, a few different options could occur in this one. Like, best case—like, okay, like, I can do that. Like, give me XYZ and I'll be happy to do it. Like, great. Perfect. That works even better for me.

Shifting Negative Self-Talk with Normalization

Rebecca: So good. So good. I love it. How about the self-talk? Since we started by talking a lot about, like, the negativity and I'm failing all the time, like, how did you… if you were to start thinking about your progression through the program and how your self-talk changed, like, how would you describe that?

Mallory: Yeah, and I think, like, I'm thinking through the pivot cycle. Like, one of the steps, I guess you could say, is, like, the normalization. And I feel like that was a lot of it.

Because again, it was like, oh, a lot of this shame was like, I should be doing this, I should be doing that. And it's like, no, what I'm doing is fine. And, like, this works for me.

So I think, like, even just, like, the normalization has helped with a lot of that self-talk. That's like, oh, you know, I feel bad because I'm a working parent and I send my kids to daycare and I still work from home. Like, sometimes, you know, that can feel kind of weird.

But it's like, no, like, this works for me and I enjoy this, and that's normal and that's okay. And it's also okay to feel guilty that, like, yes, my kids are home and I'm not able to be with them. And, like, that's an okay feeling.

Like, it does not need to impact me any more than just like, man, sometimes this sucks. I wish I could spend time with them. But, like, give me 30 minutes and I'll be able to.

And so I think just, like, some of that normalization, even at, like, that base level, helped me so much with just, like, this is fine to feel this way. Like, it's maybe not a positive feeling, but it's also fine to, like, feel bad about things. And that doesn't mean that I'm a bad person.

Normalizing Expectations and Rules

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and, and all throughout the time, you know, our three months together, we were just normalizing. You'd identify a pattern, you'd come to the call, you'd talk about it, and we'd normalize.

You'd be like, why? You don't need to judge yourself for that. You don't need to feel bad for that. Like, it's okay. It's okay for you to do you. It's okay for you to think the way you think. It's okay for you to live life the way you want to live.

Right. Again, we come back to, like, so many societal, cultural, familial kind of expectations that are put on us, that we don't even realize we're sort of living by somebody else's rules until we take the time to, like, identify our own rules and recognize how we're not really aligned to those. And then stop and kind of pivot out of that. Right?

The Power of Group Coaching

Mallory: Yeah. And I think, like, that also was a big benefit of being in a group setting for this is because, like, yes, I can. I know how I think. Or, you know, once I took the time to recognize how I think, now I know how I think. But again, I think, like, that's not something we externalize very often.

Except, like, you know, if this was like a one-on-one coaching with you, obviously, but just to hear from other ladies as well, that's like, yes, I totally—like, that is me. Exactly.

And I think just, like, the feeling of not being alone also helped with that normalization a lot as well, where it was, we're all kind of figuring this out and we're all, you know, flavors of the same issues.

And I think that was, like, definitely a benefit from, like, the group setting to be able to hear from one another and, like, really to know, like, I'm not unique in this. Like, this is a kind of larger problem that people are dealing with.

Overcoming Fear of Vulnerability in Groups

Rebecca: I think sometimes people are a little bit afraid of groups. A group setting. I think there, you know, there's a, there's a fear of vulnerability. There's a fear that you're not maybe gonna get out of it. It's not gonna be personal enough. I mean, what, what was your experience on both of those fronts in a group setting?

Mallory: Yeah, and I will say, like, traditionally in group settings, I am very quiet. Like, I'm like, I don't want to be the one to break the silence. But I feel like I was the opposite maybe on this.

Like, oftentimes I was like, no one's gonna say anything. Like, I will say something. But yeah, I think it was definitely a little bit scary to share, like, because some of these are very personal.

And, ah, you're sharing why you feel like you're failing. And that's never, like, a very fun thing. But again, I think, like, the more that we did and kind of, like, the more support, especially over, like, those three months where it's like, oh, yes, like, remember, you talked about this or so-and-so talked about this a few weeks ago.

Like, you know, we're bringing this all together. I think all of that helped a lot to just, like, everyone could kind of be like, oh, yes. Or even share resources. Like, I remember, you know, sharing, like, oh, like, even children's books. That's like, this has helped. Like, I know you're struggling with this. I have also struggled with that. Like, this is what we're doing.

And I think, like, crowdsourcing—yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I think, like I said, I think it can be intimidating. But I never felt intimidated by, like, the women on the call. Like, everyone came very, like, approachable and kind of like, you know, we're all kind of willing to do this together. And I think that was like—it was great.

Personalization Within a Group Setting

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And did you feel like there was enough personalization within the program, or what was your experience with that?

Mallory: Yeah, no, totally. I feel like sometimes I'm like, this is too personal. Like, whoa, Rebecca. Like, we don't need to go into the ins and outs. No, just kidding.

No, I think it was especially, like, I feel like we took the chance especially, like, later on to just be like, we're, like, round robin. I was like, okay, what can we help you with right here?

And again, some of the things that I would bring up, I was like, this is me specifically. Other people, like, oh, yes, like, 100%. Or another person would share. So it was interesting where it was, like, very individual where, like, you and I would be having a conversation.

Rebecca: But again, crowd—like, everybody's listening in.

Mallory: To the conversation and even, like, chiming in. That's like, oh, I have something similar. Or, like, this is what's helped me. And so, yeah, it was like personalization, but able to, like, get additional outside sources instead of just, like, a one-on-one.

Why Group Coaching Is So Powerful

Rebecca: Yeah. And to your point, you said this before, it's like if you and I are having a conversation, somebody else is listening in and thinking, oh my gosh, I've totally dealt with that before. And they might even say that or they'll say it in the chat.

You know, you say the same thing. If somebody else is talking to me and getting coached on something specific, you're like, oh my gosh, I totally relate to that. Right. That feeling of. And that's why I think this group is so powerful.

It’s literally everybody in the group looking to achieve the same thing using the same process. Right. It's not that we're all looking to change exactly the same thing.

We’re looking to live a priority-first life, have a calm internal state, be more present with our family, feel successful in all areas of life, and shift the negative self-talk. Everybody's looking to achieve the same thing, going through the same process.

Of course, there's going to be a lot of similarities to how people are feeling and patterns that are similar or responses. Like, it's normal.

Yes. And I think, you know, for us as women, it just is so interesting to me that we have such a strong, like, I should be able to do this on my own. This very fierce, independent type of like I should be superwoman, super mom, handling this.

And when we kind of get out of that and we allow ourselves to be in a group state like this, it's so empowering. It's empowering from the moment you're all together, you know?

Celebrating Growth and Small Wins Together

Mallory: Yes. Yeah. And I think like a really lovely thing that comes out of it as well is, like, over the three months to be able to see other folks’ growth as well.

Like I remember someone being like, I put the kids down and I know this doesn't sound like it, but I deep cleaned my closet and it was like so satisfying. And you know, all of us are like, that is such a good feeling. Like, oh my goodness.

You know, and being able to share small wins, like hey, I got this promotion. Like, I was really stressed about it. This happened. I'm so excited. And being able to share that—it's just like a fun little cheerleaders’ group of like, yay, we're doing it.

Like, we're all doing it, and it's really, really satisfying.

Life After Coaching: From Chaos to Capacity

Rebecca: I love it. So good. So now you, I mean, now you have some perspective, right? It's been two months—full two months—since we've been done with the program. And so you've had some perspective to, like, think back about your journey, to think back about what has really stuck with you and what is different for you.

How would you describe life differently now versus September when we were talking before?

Mallory: Yeah. Yeah. And like, I kind of said at the beginning of the call, where I started was constantly feeling like I'm failing at everything. Like everything was slipping through my fingers and I wasn't able to grasp anything.

And like, for a very tactical example, I have now been asked, like, can I actually take on a more leadership role at the company? Because I feel so on top of it. Like, I'm able to do this, have so much space.

Yeah. I'm like, I'm ready for a challenge. My daily work and present life is not a challenge anymore. And so I'm actively seeking out—

Rebecca: Never thought that back in September, like.

Mallory: No, exactly. Yes. No, but really. And I feel like even with my first kid, it took me almost a full year back at work to make me feel like myself again.

And I'm like, I haven't even hit that, and I'm already, like, itching to be like, bring it on work. Like, I can do this.

And, like, yeah, me and my husband just took an adults-only vacation, which again, I would never have thought about. Left the kids at home. It's like, this will be great.

And I think all these things, I'm just so much more willing and ready for the challenge. Whereas before, I felt like daily life was a challenge. And just having to manage everything—because everything was so unbalanced, and I was feeling myself being pulled in all these directions.

But now that I feel more centered, I'm like, I can reach a little bit more and get more outside of my comfort zone on my own terms. And that's like—yeah. Thinking back to this fall when we started, it was like, oh, no way would I have ever done either of those things. And those are really big wins for me.

Creating Balance Unlocks More Capacity

Rebecca: Oh, my gosh. All those things are huge, huge wins. I love it. I love it. I particularly love the idea of you stepping into leadership at this point. It just shows how much capacity you have. Right?

And you had the capacity before, right? You were just bogged down. Right. We like to think on some level that somehow things are circumstantial. Literally nothing has changed. You're still in the same job, you still got the same kids, the whole circumstances are totally the same.

But what's changed is—you've changed. And you've increased through honing in on your own patterns, shifting your thoughts, and really doubling down on things that you need to show up as the best human.

You've increased your capacity to take on more, to be more engaged, to do things that really matter to you. Like, this is what it's all about.

Mallory: Yeah, exactly.

Rebecca: I love it.

Debunking the Myth That Life Has to Be Crazy

Mallory: Yeah. And like I said, not anything I would have ever considered before, like having my second kid, but just like life is already a little bit crazy, you know.

And like, adding another child. And like even now I'm like, I'm ready for more. Like, I feel so on it. Let's just add more to it because I feel like I can handle it.

Rebecca: Yeah. I think that life is already a little bit crazy. I mean, we tend to live in these beliefs, I think as working moms.

I think we're told them in society, like, it's just hard. Life is just crazy. You're just not gonna have any time. Like, you're just not. I mean, that's just the way it is.

These kinds of very settling, “just deal with it” beliefs. And I just—this program's about debunking all of that stuff.

No. You can have both. You can have exactly what you want and feel successful at both. It's possible to do that. For some people that may require a circumstance change, a career change, and things like that. But that's only because you want that, not because you can't create that.

And so giving yourself full ownership and permission to live life the way you want to live it and believe that you can have both, both, both—it's so empowering. So, so fun.

Breaking Free From “Worst Case” Thinking

Mallory: Yeah, for sure. And I remember even one of our calls, we kind of went through this exercise that was constant, like, what's the worst that could happen?

Like, if you don't do this, then, you know, going through—and it's like, worst-case scenario. And it's like, is that really so bad? It's like, you know, maybe not. Maybe it wouldn't be that big of an issue.

And again, just like debunking all of these, like, this is life critical. And it's like, it's not, probably. Like, yes, there are some. But at the end of the day, like, again, what's the worst when you say no? What's the worst that's going to happen?

Rebecca: So good. So what would you say to a woman who's listening, who's been thinking about joining, has been probably listening for a while, has considered this and is still on the fence?

“It Doesn’t Hurt to Try”

Mallory: Yeah, it for sure does not hurt to try. Like, even if, again, I'm a skeptic and you could see how much more it helped me with my life. And again, things can get better kind of no matter where you are in life.

If you feel like you're crushing it, like, there's probably tricks you can learn. If you feel like you're not, there's a lot of tricks you can learn.

And like, yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't hurt to try. Things can only get better.

Don’t Stay Stuck—Take Ownership

Rebecca: Things can only get better. Right? Don't stay stuck and settled. Don't stay stuck in “it's just the way it is.”

Take ownership. Go for it. It's possible. And I love that you were a skeptic and you turned success. Turned success. So, so good.

Mallory, thank you so much for being on the podcast and for sharing your experience. It's just so fun to hear your journey, to see your smile, to remember where you were at and how far you've come in such a short period of time. It's beautiful.

Celebrating Growth and What’s Ahead

Mallory: It's amazing.

Rebecca: Excited for you. I'm so proud of you. I love it and I can't wait to see what's ahead for you.

Mallory: Yeah, thank you so much. Thank you for having me and for letting me join your cohort.

Join the Next Ambitious and Balanced Cohort

Rebecca: Yeah, absolutely. All right, working moms, you've heard it from Mallory. The next cohort is starting.

It is starting May 16th and May 17th. That's our virtual retreat. We're meeting on Friday night, May 16, and then we're meeting Saturday morning, May 17.

That's where you're going to learn the whole process. You're going to learn about the work to home transition that she talked about. We're going to talk about shifting your mindset and what that looks like. We're going to dive into some of the core foundational principles of this process, the three C's.

And then you're going to learn exactly what you need for the rest of our time together. We'll meet weekly after that for three months.

There are seven spots available at this point, at the time of recording, and I would love to have you be one of them. So please reach out. You can go to www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced. That's where you're gonna learn all about the dates and all the logistics and all the things.

If you want to have a conversation with me about it first, I did that with Mallory. I did that with a lot of women. If you want to connect, you want to make sure that this is the perfect fit for you, I would love to connect. You can go to the website there as well and do that.

Free Workshop: Unlearning Balance

Rebecca: So. All right, thank you again, Mallory. And until next week, let's get to it.

Look, I know you've tried everything. You've blocked your calendar. You wake up early. You're really trying to say no more often, and still you are feeling overwhelmed.

Well, working moms, that is not because you're failing. It's because you've been taught the wrong things about balance.

And that's why I am hosting a free live workshop in the coming weeks called Unlearning Balance: Five Myths That Keep Working Moms Overwhelmed.

In just one hour, I will walk you through the five biggest myths that are keeping smart, ambitious working moms stuck in burnout. And I'll show you exactly what you need to do to create real, sustainable balance.

You'll leave feeling clearer, lighter, and more in control with tools you can use right away. This is a workshop you probably didn't even know you needed, and I promise you'll be so glad you came.

Just snag your seat. You can go to www.ambitiousandbalance.com/5myths.

All right, working moms, I'll see you then. And let's get to it.

Rebecca Olson