Behind the Scenes of Ambitious and Balanced: How Dana and Erika Transformed in Just 7 Weeks

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In this week's episode of the podcast I’m giving you a behind-the-scenes look at what actually shifts when working moms say yes to themselves. You’ll hear from Dana and Erika, two incredible women in my current Ambitious and Balanced cohort, who are just seven weeks into the program and already living totally different lives. One’s logging off at 5pm without guilt. The other is reading for joy instead of stress-cleaning. They’re redefining success, setting boundaries, and feeling in control again. This isn’t just inspiring - it’s proof that transformation is possible fast. You’ll want to hear every word.  

Topics in this episode: 

  • What actually changes when working moms stop blaming their circumstances 

  • How one mom went from nightly work sessions to totally logging off 

  • Letting go of perfectionism and finding joy in 10-minute daily practices 

  • Why mindset shifts (not just strategies) are the real game-changer 

  • How investing in yourself creates ripple effects in motherhood, marriage, and work  

 Show Notes & References:

Connect with Erika: 

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Transcript

Intro

Hey, working moms. Today I am joined by two of my clients, Dana and Erika, that are in the current cohort of ambitious and balanced. Yes, they are only seven weeks into this three month program, but they're coming on the podcast today to share with you the transformation they have experienced in such a short period of time. Dana shares about how she went from feeling like she was always available and working in the evening to end the weekends. And now she does not hardly ever logs on, and she feels completely in control of when she works and how much she works. And Erica talks about how she really started to prioritize herself and she's even read close to six books since she joined this program just seven weeks ago. And how she's in control of her responses to her kids and she's finding herself less reactive and showing up as the mom that she wants to be. It is such a treat to hear them give you the inside scoop of, what it's like to coach with me and to be in a cohort with other working moms and to use the tools that I teach. And it's literally only been seven weeks. Working moms, there is still room to join this next cohort. It kicks off on Friday, May 16th. So if you're thinking about joining this program and you're inspired by the transformation that you hear today, it is not too late. All right, working moms, are you ready? Let's get to it.

Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms Podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom. I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.

A Special Episode Featuring Two Ambitious & Balanced Clients

Rebecca: Working moms, I am excited to bring you a very special episode today. I have two of my clients that are in my current cohort of Ambitious and Balanced.

We are just past the halfway mark. This program is three months long, and so we're like, I think on week seven or around there. I've asked them to come on the podcast to just share their experience in real time for us today.

I’m so excited that they took me up on this opportunity to share their story and to talk about their experience as working moms—and their experience in this program. I know we’re going to get so much out of this conversation.

Ladies, thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited. I've got Dana and Erika here. Let’s start with Dana. Dana, can you introduce yourself a little bit to us and tell us about you?

Meet Dana: Mom of Two and Digital Project Manager

Dana: Sure. So, hi everyone. My name is Dana. I am a mom of two. I have a 7-year-old boy and a 4-year-old daughter, and I'm a manager of a digital modernization project at Leada Team, in the public sector.

Rebecca: Yeah, so good. Okay. And Erika, how about a little bit about you?

Meet Erika: Business Owner Living Her Dream

Erika: Yeah, so I'm Erika. My kids are similar ages. I have two boys, they’re six and three. Caleb is in kindergarten now, so this has been a transition year for us.

But I also own my own business. I own a professional organizing company, which is its own roller coaster of emotions from time to time. But I literally get to go in, organize people's stuff, and it’s truly my dream.

So every day I'm reminding myself—I am living my dream life despite some of these obstacles that arise. But I’m excited to share a little bit about this journey with you guys.

Why Join Ambitious and Balanced?

Rebecca: I love it. So good. Well, let's kick off this conversation by painting a little bit of a picture for the listeners about where you were coming into this program.

And maybe even with that, tell us about why you decided to join. My goal is—as listeners hear this—to relate to where you have been and that seeking out of help.

Because I know so many of you, if you listen to podcasts like this, are searching for tools and strategies. You’re trying to make life better in some way. And I know everybody can relate to these struggles as a working mom.

So, let’s start with you, Erika. Tell us a bit about life before you joined—just seven weeks ago—and why you decided to join.

Erika’s Story: “I Felt So Desperate”

Erika: I had to go back and listen to our messages. Rebecca and I were Facebook messaging back and forth because I was like, “I need help.”

I felt so desperate. You could hear it in my voice. I had just started doing therapy because I was kind of stuck. I thought, Why? I need something.

I’ve actually coached with Rebecca in the past. I’ve had other coaches. But I just felt like I was in this really stuck place in life—where all these thoughts of not being a good enough mom, not being a good enough employee to my own business, not making enough money—were swirling.

I was even considering medication for anxiety and depression. And if anyone knows me, I am not typically a depressed person. I was super frustrated because I felt like I was doing all the right things—taking time every morning to meditate, work out, do self-care, read self-help books—and nothing was sticking.

I just felt lost, stuck in scarcity thoughts and failure thoughts. And I realized: I’m not happy.

I was getting up at 4:00 a.m. every single day to cram in as much as I could before kids or people woke up and bothered me.

Honestly, I had heard about this program. I’d been on Rebecca's email list forever. But I kept thinking: I don’t need balance. Balance is not my problem. I just need money.

But then I listened to one of Rebecca's podcast episodes—it was about your inner voice not aligning with your outer voice. And I was like: Oh my gosh, this is me.

That episode was what did it. Immediately, I messaged her on Facebook and said: “I just listened to this episode and I need you in my life.”

I just knew I needed something. I needed her voice in my head to help rationalize what was going on in my life and ask some of those hard questions.

“If I Just Got Up Earlier, I Could Do More”

Rebecca: Yeah, and I, I hear, you know, so much of our previous working coaching was getting you to a place that you really love your career, right?

We kind of transitioned you out of your corporate life into this, into this dream business and so forth. Because loving your career is an important part of balance, right? You can't, you got to want to go to work every day if you're going to experience a life of happiness on some level.

So we got you there and you kind of maintained that for a number of years. And then it was like, hold on a second. All these, this kind of over hyper doing behavior, you know, has been really surfacing a lot in the last, I don't know how long you'd probably name that, but that, that idea, like, if I just got up earlier and I could get more things done, then I will feel better, I will feel happy, I will feel balanced, I can rest, you know, I'll be calm, you know, whatever it is on the other side of the.

Then, you know, you were, you were kind of living in that, living in that land. But on some level you had to realize that that wasn't that wasn't working, that wasn't going to be the solution. That could you remember a moment where you were really like, I can't, I can't just keep, I can't get up earlier than I'm already getting up and like do more and this isnna help.

“I’m Living My Dream Life… So Why Am I Not Happy?”

Erika: Yeah, I just like kept thinking like I'I am living this dream life. Like I have, I'm married, I have the house, I have the kids. I started this business which took so much tenacity to like get here. I quit my job. Like how amazing and how come I'm still not happy?

And it was these thoughts of like, well my kids, they're at these really hard ages and like when Jackson's done being a threeage major, like things will get better when Caleb stops talking back when he's just in school, full day, you know, I'll have more time.

And I think what chain, what helped me realize it was I ended up adding, I used to work three days a week and now I work four. So I added a whole nother day of the week to work time and I still, still couldn't get it all done.

“This Is In Me Versus an External Factor”

Erika: Yeah, that was a little bit of a turning for me. Like, okay, well now what if I work five days a week, you know, six and like where do you stop? That's kind of when I realized like this is in me versus an external factor.

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah. That's such an important realization when it comes to creating sustainable balance. Right. Because you can only ever control you. We can't create the perfect circumstances all of the time. And we talk a lot about that in the program.

We talk a lot about, it's about finding kind of the sustainable rhythms and practices in the middle of the chaos. Right. We like to think that if we can just make life less chaotic, then it's all going to work out. But on reality we don't get to control a lot of those variables.

And particularly to your point, when your kids are the age, like you're not going to control when your kid has a meltdown and you're not going to control if they struggle to get their shoes on every single day for the next year or whatever. It might be like you don't control that, but you can still be and show up as the mom you wanna be and show up and enjoy the happiness that you wanna enjoy in the midst of that chaos, which is really like the heart of this program.

Dana’s Struggles Before Joining the Program

Rebecca: Dana, how about for you? Where were you at before you joined? Ambitious. And balance. And what were some of those struggles for you or challenges for you and kind of what led you to decide to join.

Dana: Sure. So Erica said the word stuck. I think that's really where I was feeling so stuck in the overwhelm of, trying to do it all. And I think there's kind of, like, three areas where I was really struggling.

The first was my work hours. So I leave work before the rest of my teammates m so that I can care for my kids after school. And I was feeling such guilt around doing that that I was logging back on when my kids were at home after school and I was trying to cook dinner all at the same time, and that was a disaster.

And then I was logging on after bedtime. I was logging on on the weekends. And so I was just so exhausted. And there was never enough logging on. Right. To do all the things.

I think. also, I was feeling guilty asking my husband for time for myself, so I wasn't taking me time. And my life was going to work, coming home, looking after my kids, doing the housework, go to sleep, rinse and repeat every day.

So it was like this Groundhog Day without any variety or spontaneity or fun.

And then the other thing was that I've learned about through the course that I wasn't aware of at the time was really the way I was talking to myself. Like, there was a chorus in my head all day long of, this is too much. I can't do this. I need another job with less responsibility or less hours, and that's the only way out of this. And it was just like, on repeat all day long.

“The Chorus in My Head All Day Long”

Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah. And you didn't even realize that you were thinking those thoughts all of the time. I love the idea of a chorus. I got a great image of a whole chorus literally singing to you all of the time. This is too muchact.

Dana: Yeah.

“Something’s Gotta Change”

Rebecca: Yeah. And so what was the point where you felt like you needed to reach out or you needed to find something that was going to, you know, help you get to the next to fix this on some level or figure something out? Because at some point, you probably had to say, I can't. I don't know what to do. I can't do this on my own.

Dana: Yeah. So I'd been listening to the podcast for a few months and starting to implement some of the strategies, and they were helping, but I was like, I know I can go further. Like, I know there's more to learn. I know there's more opportunity here.

And then I remember, like, so vividly, there was one night, the week before Christmas, it was 10:30 at night. I was in the parking lot of a Walmart trying to get my kids their last minute gifts and I was so tired and I was like, no, no, like, something'snna change. And I submitted my form in. I can't imagine what that form looked like. But yeah, just that, Mom.

Learning in the Messy Middle

Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, we're talking mid program here. So, you know, a lot of times when I talk to people on the podcast, it's after that they've worked with me. Right where you got like this whole picture of like where they were before and where they were after and kind of all their path there.

And now we're kind of what I kind of love talking about the messy middle and kind of learning how to be in the messy middle and find peace and calm and control within it. And we're kind of. That's kind of what we're talking about because we are in fact in the middle of this program.

Can you. I would love to hear from each of you a, you know, a breakthrough moment, a mindset shift. Something that like made something clicked for you and what that was, what the conversation looks like for you and kind of what happened as a result of that. So, Dana, why don't you start?

From “This Is Too Much” to “I Can Handle This”

Dana: Sure. So I think that the biggest mind shift, mindset shift for me has been around that default thought of this is too much. And doing the tools that you've taught us, Rebecca, particularly the daily work to try to change that default thought and introduce a new thought, which is for me, I can handle this. I can figure this out.

And so instead of when I get last minute requests at work or there's just so much happening at home, that's the thought that I'm trying to adopt. So I'm not spinning in my head so much and I'm just doing the things to get through the next phase.

Mindset Shifts and Practical Strategies Together

Rebecca: That I need to get through coming into this program. I mean, the program has a lot. You're talking about mindset shifting and we do talk a lot about shift mindset. There's a lot of tools. There's also a lot of practical strategies on how to manage life and what you need to prioritize and how to do that and things like that as well.

So there's like, I like to say that this program is both. Right. It has some tactile elements to it. It also has the internal mindset shifting that has to happen. I'm getting nods from both of them. So I'm glad to hear that you feel that way.

But I know that mindset work can feel very, it can kind of feel, I don't know, it felt weird to me when I first learned about like mindset work. I just thought that this was kind of fluffy and it wasn't really a thing and I don't really know.

So I'm just curious for you. As you got into this program, you started to hear how I was teaching and some of the tools we were going to use. Like what were some of your thoughts initially around impact of mindset?

“I Thought I Needed a New Job”

Dana: Yeah, so I thought I was coming in and I was going to leave with a new job. Like I was like, I'm going to change my circumstances. That's the situation.

And I think after that first clarity week, I realized this. So much of this is internal to me and the circumstances can stay the same. And if that internal piece shifts, things really change.

And I had no, I did not think at all that we were going to be talking about that. Affirmations and those types of things always seem like a bit of woo woo to me, to be honest. Yeah, but the way that you do it isn't fluffy. There's structure to it. There's a methodology. I'm a very concrete person. It's something I can wrap my head around. There's a practical element to it that I do every morning. So yeah, it's, it's just been wonderful learning the tools.

“What If You Could Be Happy in the Job You’re In?”

Rebecca: I love that. I forgot that we had had that conversation and like leaving your job was a big piece of this for you. It's so common.

I don't know if you know that, but I don't remember if I told you that. But it really is so common for people to come into consultations and tell me that they think that they just need to leave their job. And I go, well, hold on, hold on. That maybe that's true, you know, maybe it's true and we should explore that potentially.

But what if you could just find balance and happiness in the job you were in today, if that was possible. Would you like to leave your job then? Like, how does things shift?

And most people are like, no, actually I think that'd be great. I'd love to stay if I can stay you. And so here you are staying, which I love.

“I’m Not Just Staying, I’m Enjoying It”

Dana: I'm not just staying, I'm enjoying it. Like I do really like my job and this program has enabled me to enjoy it, like to be in it and be committed to it.

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah, I love that. How about now? I know, Erica, because you and I have worked together before. I know you knew that a piece of this was going to be mindset. So I don't know if that was your breakthrough or not, but what was a breakthrough moment for you or kind of a big shift that has made all the difference for you in the last sevenies?

Erika: First off, when I first started coaching with Rebecca, like, six years ago, I was that person that was like, I have to quit my job. There's no way around this. And eventually I did.

But Rebecca also got me to the point of loving my job before I ultimately did leave. So I'm just caseing point much.

“I Can Choose to Stay or Go”

Rebecca: So empowering to think, like, I can choose to stay or I could choose to go, and either way, like, I can make this work. Like, I'm still in control of my own happiness and my own life. Right.

Like, it's just the most empowering way to live. Which is why I like to get my clients to that place where they can experience that kind of control and calmness and happiness first.

And then let's make a decision on if you really want to leave or not. But now it's gonna be for different reasons. It's not because you can't hack it. It's not because you can't figure it out. Right. It's because you want to. And then that's a totally different conversation.

Breakthrough #1: Money, Debt, and Coming Clean

Erika: Yeah, definitely. And I feel like the other part of it was like, you have to learn to love it now because the grass isn't always greener. So, like, if you don't figure out your boundaries and standing up for yourself or figuring out your mindset on all of this, then it's not going to change.

If you change, your circumstance doesn't necessarily change. Ah, the rest of the model, so to speak, in our coaching terms.

But I, like, I had two breakthroughs to get back on track. One, I came into this really financially distraught, with a lot of debt. And that was one reason. We'll talk about it maybe at the end of, like, can I do this or not? I'm just, like, taking on more debt to invest in the program.

But I was like, really had a lot of stories about money and this debt number being, like, significant show of my failure. And maybe I'm not a good business person. And, having not been fully transparent with my husband on what these numbers looked like and how they got there.

And so that was, like, the first thing Rebecca and I, like, knocked out. She's like, okay, well, first off, we're coming clean to your husband. We're going to figure out a solution, we're going to get our mindset straight. And so that's just been such a load off of my shoulders and like having that all out there.

So I didn't know that that was what you're going to come into the program with. I definitely knew mindset was part of it.

Breakthrough #2: Transforming Chaotic Mornings with Kids

Erika: But the other thing just happened a couple, maybe two or three weeks ago. We were, this is smaller scale and I think everyone will find relatable is like I have a three year old and sometimes getting dressed is like the hardest thing in the world or getting my six year old out of bed.

You know just school mornings can be really chaotic. I'm sure everyone listening can relate to this on some level.

And we sat, we did a visualization on the call. There's like five or six other girls on there at the same time. Kind of closed my eyes and she like walked me through how it could be different and like the thoughts that I could adopt in those moments.

And literally every day now that's like become so much a part of just my routine. U kind of figuring out like when I'm starting to feel that anxiety building. Like the clock, come on guys, like the clock is ticking. The bus doesn't wait, you know, like we gott go.

And just like resetting myself, walking away for a minute and just using some of the tools that we go through in this program.

I know that seems so small but it makes such a difference especially when it's only you know, six in the morning that this stuff is happening. Like I don't want to start my day in chaos. So you 7:30 and I'm already yelling like I don't want that.

So every day is not perfect and I still yell but like I do feel like I have more kind of control over my own body when they are acting, however they're gonna act. Cause I clearly cannot control that as much as I've tried.

The Power of Visualization in Creating Balance

Rebecca: Yeah, I love that. And that was a really powerful moment. And we talk a bit about visualization within this program just because of how powerful it is in our mind.

And there's so much research that shows how visualization, like our brain really can't differentiate between what we visualize and what reality is on some level. Not much really. And so the power of doing that intentionally is like it's such a useful tool to have if you start practicing it.

And I don't do this stuff every day. Right. But it's one of the tools in the toolkit that we're developing. Right. And that's what I like to think about it as, is that everybody in this program is not. Doesn't need the same tool or isn't gonna relate to every tool that we talk about or that we use or we go through.

But you're gonna find the ones that work for you and that really make the big difference. And to your point, it is about the little shifts all throughout the day that add up to a different experience of your life. Right. Where you remain calm in or experiencing, for Dana, in moments of enjoyment.

You know, where you feel. Where you feel centered, where you feel like you're not responding out of irritation or reacting in a certain way or rushing your kids out the door or whatever it might be. Right. Like, those are the moments that really make up your entire life.

And so learning how to stay calm and control and have the tools to manage all of the little moments throughout the day is huge.

Facing the Money Question: “What Is My Happiness Worth?”

Rebecca: So I wanna come back to the money one just because I think this is a tough place for. I mean, if we're really honest about joining this program or doing anything, investing in ourself is challenging.

And so for you to say, I came in with a lot of debt. I was feeling a whole lot of pressure and weight on that debt. And then I just added more debt, you know, joining this program. Tell. Tell us about your internal. Your internal monologue on that. And what got you to the place where you decided, I just got to go for this.

Erika: Well, this all happened within a day because the doors were like closing that night and I had thought this program was already closed. And when I'd reached out to Rebecca, I was like, sign me up for the next round. Which I thought, you know, I'll have a couple months, I'll figure it out.

And then I was like, kind of had this epic mentality. And then you were like, m. Yeah, no, we're not gonna have that attitude. We're going to be really mindful on how we're making this decision and we're not just throwing this on another credit card to deal with later.

So, you know, you and I went back and forth with some questions and I think what it ultimately came down to was like, what is my happiness worth? I didn't think you were going to solve my debt problems. We didn't exactly solve them, so to speak. But we've changed the circumstances on it a little bit.

But I just remember thinking like, I can't keep going on this way. I've worked with Rebecca in the past. I know, I know I'm gonna gain something from this. We do a rating every week where we like rate ourselves 0 to 10. And I was probably like a 3 or 2 when we started. Now I'm like, oh, I feel like a nine this week. Sometimes seven, I'm a seven.

And I just. I had a lot of doubt that I would get to those levels, especially so quickly, but I'm so glad I did. I thought of places, you know, you start to get creative, like, oh.

Rebecca: Right.

Erika: Well, actually, my dad gave me a little bit of money for Christmas, and I have a little bit of money here and tax returns coming back. So, like, I just was able to get creative and I ultimately didn't end up throwing it all on credit cards, which was really liberating also.

But I think it was that thought of, like, I just need to feel like old me again and, like, get that happiness back. And I just believe so much in Rebecca. And just to say this, like, she's not doing this work for you. Right. Like, that was part of our conversation too. I was kind of like, can you guarantee me I'll be happy at the end of this? And you’re likely, but there's so much accountability in this program and you're rating yourself all the time.

And I think just becoming aware, which of, to Dana's point, like, she didn't know those voices were going on inside our head. Like, being aware every week of where I'm feeling and where I'm lacking and what's going good and just being able to, like, take that space for yourself to reflect on it and, like, make some changes.

Choosing to Invest in Yourself

Rebecca: Yeah. But it really does come down to your. I mean, to your very first point, which is, what is my happiness worth? At some point you had to answer that question and say, it's worth $2,000.

It's worth more than that, Erika. But it's worth that for sure. $2,000 in this moment. And, you know, beyond this, because I talk a lot about that too in this program. Like, I'm here to teach you sustainable tools. I'm not here to just fix it for three months and then, you know, that's it. And you're going to go back to the way things were.

Like, the goal here is that you really do learn how to make this sustainable for you and your circumstances and the voice, the chorus in your head, which is different than my chorus and Dana’s chorus and all the things. Right. And learn how to do it sustainably.

And there was something inside of you that had to say, I'm worth it. My happiness is worth it. If my kids were struggling, I would tell them in a heartbeat to, like, just pay the money. Like, it's. Do it. If you believe that you're gonna get what you want out of it, which is also a piece of this too.

Like, you had to trust in me and the results, and go from there. So I love. I love that. Thanks for your honesty in that.

Real Shifts in Just Seven Weeks

Rebecca: So we were talking a lot about. I mean, I've heard little pieces of how both of you have shifted. Mindsets have shifted, habits have shifted, things like that.

I'm curious if we were to highlight, though, what you notice over the last seven weeks, what has been shifting for you? Like, what's been in the process of shifting for you?

And maybe you haven't reached the pinnacle of it. Right? We haven't reached to the end. We haven't gotten to the sustainable part, perhaps, but you can see the path. Right? Like, you're on it.

I'm curious what paths you see yourself on and what shifts you see yourself in the middle of making through. You know, since we started this program. Dana, why don't you lead us out?

Dana’s Transformation: From 90% Overwork to 5%

Dana: Sure. So if I start with work, I'm now logging off at my hours, and I'm off, and I'm off at night, and I'm off with my kids, and I'm off on the weekends. And it's not just like a, okay, it's my time shut down. Because of the tools that you've taught us, I feel so good when I've logged off.

Like, I'm very focused on my work at work. I have the uninterrupted time. I have my priorities. So that when it is time to log off, I said, I've done all I can do today. It's now time to stop.

And I don't have that. It's enough.

Rebecca: It's enough. And it's time to log off. Right. That stamp of enoughness that we put on it, for sure. So, wait, I'm just really curious. Prior to this program, how often were you working into the evenings or staying available in the evenings or the weekends or, like, what did that look like in comparison to now? Cause you're telling us, like, you don't do any of that now, which tells me that you were doing some of that prior.

Dana: Oh, yeah, like 80, 90% of the time I was doing it.

Rebecca: Oh, wow.

Dana: Yeah, now it's 5%. Like, and I have my defined yes criteria when it's okay to do a little bit more. But other than that, I'm off. I'm recharging.

Rebecca: So good. Oh my gosh. So good. And you're actually. You're telling us that you're not actually failing or behind at work as a result of it?

Dana: No.

Rebecca: That's the fear, right? We're gonna get behind, all of a sudden we're gonna miss something that's really important, that, you know, work is going to pile up. And you're actually saying that's not the way it works.

Dana: No, no, I don't think it was possible.

Rebecca: So good. In seven weeks—everyone take a listen to that—in seven weeks she's made this shift in the way she operates in her calendar and her schedule and her off time. Oh, so good.

Finding Joy Again: Fun, Friends, and Self-Care

Dana: Yeah, lots of nights out, which has been great. But I booked, for in two weeks, a concert. Haven't been to a concert since my son was born. And I am so excited. That's a big deal.

Rebecca: Fun. I love it. I love it. All right, how about for you, Erika? What's in the middle of changing for you over the course of the last seven weeks within this program?

Boundaries, Books, and Work-to-Home Transition

Erika: You know, one of the things was defining like these boundaries and these work hours, and that was like, you know, when you run your own business, you're kind of on all the time. And I have a team that works in the field, so I've always felt like I have to be able to respond to them if they need something.

But I, similar to Dana, have been able to just like lay my hours and kind of stick to them. I wouldn't say I'm perfect there yet. This is still the messy middle. And there's definitely still exceptions that are made. But I'm way less on my phone at night, like on the couch with my husband. I'm not scrolling through emails and trying to get things done.

So that's been great. I've also read 12 books this year and probably five or six of them were in the last seven weeks.

Rebecca: That you have said, yeah, I chose to just like read for the last 45 minutes. It's like some recharging time instead of pick up the house or do something else. Like I love, I love that about you.

Erika: That's good for me because I'm an organizer. I like to clean, I like to organize, I like things in their place. Like, I can see stuff right now that like, ugh. But I've learned to like let that go a little bit.

And yeah, I just sit on my couch and we do this work to home transition which has been so helpful as well. It's like we have this morning work and then this afternoon work and it helps to just like shut your brain down.

And then that's when I'm like, I'm going to take 20 minutes for myself and typically I read because it's not enough time to really go do anything. The weather is getting better so I'd like to start walking too.

But like it's just that time that I can kind of disappear into another world for a little bit and then come back really present for my kids when they come in the door.

I'm not getting up as early anymore. Just like again, they're little shifts but they make such a difference to like the totality of the day.

Convincing Yourself That Housework Is “Life-Giving”

Rebecca: Yeah. And you, and I know you well enough to know that you were really good at convincing yourself that picking up the house or checking email, like you wanted to do those things. Like that those things were life-giving to you.

Right. And you could just hear that little voice in your head that would convince yourself that, you know, you enjoy this too just as much as reading a book or just a little time.

Erika: I don't think reading a book ever crossed that mind before.

Rebecca: Like, yeah, yeah, but you had the convincing voice in your head.

Erika: Yeah, yeah, but now I was supposed to. I was supposed to. I told myself I was like gonna clean the bathrooms this weekend. Probably a good. Like I don't even know the last time I did this. My house is pretty clean. People, like it's not that bad.

But I was like, you know, I'm just not. I'm just not doing it. Like I'm just not. And we started a neighborhood club. So I finished my book for the weekend because Friday night we're all getting together at one of the girls’ houses. Drinks and books talk. And I'm just really excited, similar to Dana, just to have like a girl's night out, getting out of bedtime, the monotony of that.

Conscious Decision Making vs. Reactive Decision Making

Rebecca: I love it. And just, just in case any listeners out there is thinking about this, the solution isn't to ignore cleaning the house or ignore other, like either, any other type of priority. Like, you could still have a clean house and feel balanced and like put into practice, you know, these things.

The goal is always to make these decisions really consciously. We talk a lot about conscious decision making instead of reactive decision making. Like I want you to decide to clean the house or do the clean the bathrooms. In this case, I want you to decide to do that and not read the book.

But see that you had the option to read the book and make a decision really consciously which one you want to do and just love your reasons behind it. Right. Like it's. That's fine if that's what you want to do.

I just, I just want to hear the good argument in your mind as to why that you're choosing that. And there could be all sorts of good reasons for that. Right. We don't judge that. It's just a. It's just needing to get to the point where you are making these kinds of decisions for how you're using your time and what you're choosing to do from a place of being really proactive and making sure it's aligned with the goals that you have for yourself and the kind of happiness that you want to experience.

Right. I'm getting a lot of headshakes from Dana too.

Erika: Yeah. What is it, conscious of like why, like an old me would’ve been like, well, it has to get done. It's not even a choice.

Rebecca: Right.

Erika: Me is like, well, it can wait. Or, or it can get done.

Rebecca: Yeah, sure, I feel like it. Let's do it either way. But then you feel, you don't feel resentful or guilty or bad for doing it while you're doing it.

If you've made that conscious decision, which is kind of the point, right? Make everything from a place of consciousness and love your reasons behind it. If you love your reasons, then you can't feel guilty, you can't have any regrets, you can't feel resentful. Like it is. It's—you've made the decision, right?

Looking Ahead: Refining the Work in the Latter Half of the Program

Rebecca: I love it. So, I mean, we have talked so much about all the changes that are in motion. I'm curious what you see ahead of you in the latter half of this program.

What you are gonna deepen, or what you think is gonna kind of come up for you in the latter half, or what you wanna work on, maybe even in the latter half, that's gonna make you end this program feeling like, you know 100% about where you're at, the tools you've learned, the sustainability of all of it and so forth.

So, Erika, why don't you start.

Erika: I feel like I'm in a good place, but I think I could get faster at realizing when I'm having some of those thoughts that are not helpful or needing to kind of like feel those emotions in my body start to bubble up before I'm going to explode, like a little bit sooner.

So I feel like it's kind of more just refining everything that we've been practicing and just getting quicker at noticing that stuff. So my reaction can be the one I want it to be instead of the one that truly feels.

I mean, come on, guys. Like, you're yelling at your kids and you're like, crap, how did I get here? Like, I don't want to be the mom that yells, but, like, also it feels so good to just get this rage out of my body. Well, it's because that rage has been building up for so long.

Like, so just kind of finding those earlier moments of those pivots and getting faster at recognizing it.

Catching the Build-Up Before the Explosion

Rebecca: I mean, I just wanna, like, I want to tell the listeners that we, I mean, we even recently had this conversation because you came to the call, I don't know if it was maybe two weeks ago, and you said, yeah, I don't think there's any build up. Like, I think I just explode. And I don't know what to do when I just explode at my kids.

And it's like. And I was like, look, I know what that feels like. I feel like I go to 0 to 10 almost instantaneously at my children. There's almost no other situation that I go from 0 to 10 on, but my kids, that's what it feels like.

And so I totally relate. And then I, and I told you, like, hold on though. There was a bunch of build up. You just didn't realize you were getting irritated and then you were stacking more irritation on irritation. It could have been an hour prior to the moment of explosion. Right. It could have been a long time ago.

But we got to find, we gotta figure out where that build up starts so that we can kind of mitigate that, you know, coming up to it. And so sounds like that's what you're talking about, is like catching a lot of these things way earlier.

So that obviously there's less explosion moments at your kids, but there's just less reactionary moments that you have to pivot from huge emotion. And maybe you could have pivoted an hour ago. It made everything much easier on you if you had done it back then.

Yeah. So good. How about for you, Dana?

Dana on Group Coaching: Letting Go of Shame

Dana: Erika just took the words out of my mouth, which is why I love the group coaching. Because to see another mom experiencing the same thing as you just kind of takes away that shame that I tend to go to quickly.

So, yes, noticing, doing the pivot moment, I think that's a tool I haven't yet sharpened as much, mastered as much as the others.

But then also I can be quite hard on myself. So how, when I've had a yelling at my kids or a bad moment, how do I let go of that? See that as an opportunity to learn and move forward as opposed to getting kind of stuck in that moment?

Breaking Free from the Shame Spiral After Reactions

Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah. For sure. And ending some of the mindsets that happen after our reactions to things, right? After we—whether we're talking about exploding at our kids, or we're just talking about, you know, responding to something at work you wish you didn't respond to in that way, or you chose to log back on and work and maybe you didn't have to and now you really wish that you hadn't done that.

You know, whatever those choices are, having the aftermath of that in your mind and recognizing that we don't have to go into the shame spiral afterwards. We don't have to beat ourselves up. We don't have to feel guilty. We don't have to go down that deep rabbit hole of shame.

It's really not useful to us to do it at all. It's kind of learning how to have a lot of compassion and building up that self-compassion voice, learning from it, deciding how you're going to do it differently, and then moving on from it. It's being able to process through that entire emotional journey.

Yeah, it's big stuff. It's big stuff. Who knew that life was just all about emotional processing? I didn't know that before I started on this journey. It's about your mind and it's about how you feel. That's what controls it all.

Practical, Purposeful, and Tangible

Rebecca: So I love it. And you said earlier, Dana, I think it's really good. It's really good to highlight. Like, my style as a coach is very tactile. Right? I'm also a very linear thinker. I don't live kind of in the fluff and esoteric world very much.

So while there are some of the tools that we talk about—everything from emotional processing to mindset—that can feel kind of fluffy, I ground everything in a lot of purpose, a lot of steps. It's very clear why we're doing what we're doing and how it actually makes real practical sense to the process.

That's important to me because it's the way I operate too. And I think that’s why most people operate in this program. It’s why people are drawn to me.

Is there, for either one of you, another way you would describe this program or my coaching style that might be helpful to listeners who have been thinking about joining this program, and kind of give them a sense of what this is?

Tangible Tools and Rediscovering Yourself

Erika: Like, I—like, so many things to say. One, I was writing some notes before too so I made sure I had my mind right on a lot of this.

And I think one of the biggest things is that Clarity Week, and there’s—assuming you’re gonna still do like a workbook. So again, things are tangible. I am a paper person, so I just really appreciate being like, “What was that thing she said about the pivot? Like, I don’t…” Like, sometimes the beginning was a lot of learning. And so it was like, oh yeah, I remember hearing that, but like, what am I supposed to do now?

So just having a reference to be able to go back and refer to that. But also in the whole clarity piece, it’s like, who am I?

I remember having this initially—one of the first times Rebecca and I coached was when my son was like nine months old. Like first-time mom. And I was just like, “But I’m like rockstar employee. Like I am teacher’s pet over here. How can I be teacher’s pet and a great mom?”

And I really struggled with who I was after becoming a mom. And I think as the more time that goes on—to Dana’s point, she hasn’t been to a concert in seven years, like, but that maybe was a huge part of her before. Like, we just lose a sense of ourselves.

And so something that’s great about this program is just remembering who you are, what’s important to you now outside of work, outside of being a mom. Just like—as Erika.

Redefining Who You Want to Be Moving Forward

Rebecca: And I think, defining it for you moving forward. Right. Like, I always like to say, who you were in the past—who cares about that? You’re a new person now.

Who do you want to be moving forward? What matters to you today? It likely is bringing in some stuff from your past if you want to hold on to it. But like, let’s just discover who you are moving forward and step into that person.

We don’t need to go back to be someone. We just need to move forward into the person we are.

Erika: Yeah, exactly.

Rebecca: Yeah. So good.

The Power of Group Coaching for Working Moms

Erika: The group part and the normalizing and just hearing from, like—you know, some of the moms in our group have older kids. So it's like helpful to hear their perspective. Like, it doesn't actually get easier. Weird.

And then, you know, Dana and I relate because we have kids the same age. So that's just really helpful to normalize everything.

Just the time piece—I don't want people to listen to this and be like, wow, these girls seem like they're doing all this work and how do they have the time on top of their jobs and mom life? It's literally like a 10-minute exercise in the morning and 10 minutes in the afternoon and then one hour a week. And that's it.

You know, sure, there's always extra journaling and things you can do if that suits you. But like, it's really not time intensive. So if you think you can't fit this into your schedule, I promise you, based on the girls in these rooms that have high-level jobs, you 100% can do it.

Daily Practices That Feel Like a Hug

Dana: The 10 minutes in the morning and the 5 to 10 minutes in the afternoon are two of my favorite parts of my whole day.

Like, this sounds really corny, but I feel like I'm giving myself a hug in those moments. Like it's so nourishing to me.

So I just wanted to add that as I was thinking about your coaching style. This might sound silly, but I was thinking of watching a toddler—like a three-year-old or four-year-old—trying to do a puzzle that's just a bit too hard for them. And they just need a strategy, a little bit of scaffolding to just kind of put the pieces in place.

And I feel—we’ve got some highly intelligent women in this group, super successful. Being a working mom is so hard. And you just need some strategies, some support, someone to challenge or reframe your thinking, and some tools. And then it can just come into place more. And that's what you've given all of us.

Is Joining Worth It? Erika’s Honest Answer

Rebecca: Rebecca, what would you say to somebody that's been thinking about joining and has been on the fence? Perhaps, what?

Erika: Is your happiness worth it?

I think the word balance really threw me off in wanting to register for this program. And I feel like a lot of people do seek balance. But I just want to say it's like so much more than just finding balance.

Maybe it is balance and I just define it in a different way. But like the me time and just advocating for yourself and setting these boundaries, but doing it in a way that feels so authentic to you.

You know, if you're the mom that's just like screaming at their kids and not showing up as the mom you want to be—like, I am all of the above, and all of us in some way—you know, we just have these different desires that we want our life to be better.

And so no matter what it is, if we didn't cover it today, I'm sure that it could be covered in a future cohort. And I don't want to say your problems will be solved, but you'll have a lot more clarity around what to do when those circumstances arise. And I promise your life will be so different.

Dana’s Advice: “Just Do It”

Rebecca: How about for you, Dana?

Dana: Just do it. It's gonna change your life. It's gonna change your sanity. It's gonna change your marriage or your partnership.

Rebecca: I love it.

Dana: So many reasons to do it.

Midway Transformation: Seven Weeks Is Enough to See Change

Rebecca: Gosh, such a good one. So many reasons.

And remember, they are literally seven weeks into this program, they're talking about the transformation that they've had. This doesn't have to take a whole lot of time to get you to the place where you feel more in control, more calm, more happy, more fun, more joy—all the things that we want in life.

You know, it really doesn't have to take that long.

So, thank you both for being on this podcast, for coming and sharing your story kind of midway in the journey and the vulnerability. I know that that can take a lot. So appreciate both of you. And of course, I'm gonna see you next week—or no, I'm gonna see you tomorrow on our call. Tomorrow is the next one.

And working moms, there is still room in the next cohort for you. We start at the end of this week. That's May. Friday, May 16th is gonna be the kickoff of our retreat, and I would love for you to be a part of it.

If you are interested in joining, please do reach out and book a consultation call with me. Send me a message on Facebook or on LinkedIn somewhere. And let's just start a conversation around what it looks like to get you into this program.

All right, working moms, until next week, let's get to it.

Free Workshop: Unlearning Balance – 5 Myths Keeping Working Moms Overwhelmed

Rebecca: Look, I know you've tried everything. You've blocked your calendar. You wake up early. You're really trying to say no more often. And still you are feeling overwhelmed.

Well, working moms, that is not because you're failing. It's because you've been taught the wrong things about balance.

And that's why I am hosting a free live workshop in the coming weeks called Unlearning Balance: Five Myths That Keep Working Moms Overwhelmed.

In just one hour, I will walk you through the five biggest myths that are keeping smart, ambitious working moms stuck in burnout. And I'll show you exactly what you need to do to create real, sustainable balance.

You'll leave feeling clearer, lighter, and more in control—with tools you can use right away. This is a workshop you probably didn't even know you needed. And I promise you'll be so glad you came.

Just snag your seat. You can go to www.ambitiousandbalance.com/5myths.

All right, working moms, I'll see you then. And let's get to it.

Rebecca Olson