BONUS: Balance & Boundaries: How to Lead (Not Just Survive) the Holidays

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In this week’s BONUS episode of the podcast, I’m breaking down how to do the holidays differently this year. Instead of slipping into the usual cycle of guilt, overcommitment, and exhaustion, I’m showing you how to lead yourself through the season—with intention, courage, and calm. You’ll learn how to set a clear vision for what you want this holiday to feel like, how to stand strong when family expectations pile on, and how to stay grounded no matter how busy things get. If you’re ready for a joyful, peaceful holiday (without the overwhelm), this episode is for you. 

Topics in this episode:

  • Lead your holiday season with intention, not reaction 

  • Why courage, not people pleasing, creates meaningful traditions 

  • How calm leadership transforms stressful moments into connection 

  • The mindset shifts that help you say yes and no with confidence 

  • What to expect from the Boundaries & Balance: Holiday Clarity Call 

Show Notes & References:

Transcript

Intro

Every year we promise ourselves that this holiday season will be different, right? That we’ll be more present, more rested, more joyful.

But unless we learn how to lead ourselves through the holidays, we’re going to fall back into those old patterns of guilt and overcommitment.

In this week’s bonus episode, I’m sharing how to do the holidays differently — how to lead with intention, courage, and calm, and how just one 30-minute shift can change the way you experience the entire season.

Are you ready? Let’s get to it.

Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom, I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.

Lead, Don’t Just Survive, the Holiday Season

Well, hello there working moms, and welcome to this bonus episode — just in time for the holidays.

This is going to be a quicker-than-normal episode because I really just want to take a moment to dig into what it looks like to lead instead of survive the holiday season.

And I choose the word lead very intentionally because it’s a word that I use with my clients often. We often think about leadership as leading other people — and that’s kind of essential, right? That’s what it means to be a leader.

But in the Ambitious and Balanced community, inside my group coaching program and with my one-on-one clients, one of the pillars I teach is ownership — being in charge and leading your balanced life, owning it.

I think leadership and ownership go hand in hand. To be a great leader, you have to take ownership over both the good and the failures that take place in life.

So today, in this episode, I want to offer you three strategies we’re borrowing from leadership — ways to think about not just surviving this holiday season, but actually enjoying it, being present, and yes, even thriving.

Introducing the Boundaries & Balance Holiday Strategy Sessions

I also want you to know that what we’re talking about here is the basis of the Boundaries and Balance Holiday Strategy Sessions that I’m hosting right now.

If you haven’t heard about these, I’ve been talking about them here on the podcast and in my greater community. I am currently offering $9 Boundaries and Balance Holiday Sessions — literally 30-minute calls with me, Rebecca, where we break down your vision of a balanced and present holiday.

Get Crystal Clear on Your Holiday Priorities (for Just $9)

You’re going to get crystal clear on what you want to say yes to and what you want to say no to over the holiday season. Then you’ll learn a tool — what’s required to actually stick to those priorities and boundaries — and all of that for just $9.

I’m going to walk you through these same leadership strategies today to give you a flavor of what we’ll cover on those calls.

If you’re interested in taking me up on one of these sessions, know that I’m only doing a limited number of them. Obviously, I don’t have an immense amount of time to do these, so I’ve set aside a specific number of spots all the way up through Thanksgiving.

You can go into the show notes — there’s a link there where you can click and schedule your Boundaries and Balance Holiday Session.

Borrowing Leadership Lessons for a Balanced Holiday

All right, so let’s get into this episode today, all about kind of borrowing leadership lessons in order to have a really successful and balanced holiday.

So the first leadership lesson that we want to borrow is to lead with intention.

The Holidays Sneak Up Fast — Lead with Intention

Because I don’t know about you, but the holidays sort of sneak up on me, right? I am writing this episode just four days before Halloween, actually. And for me, Halloween is the beginning of the holiday season because everything happens so fast.

I’m four days out from Halloween, and I have a kid who hasn’t decided what they want to be yet — which means I don’t have a costume for them. I had to scramble to buy this pumpkin that my kid had to take to school for this pumpkin lesson they’ve been doing all week. We haven’t even bought candy to pass out.

There are just all these last-minute holiday things that need to get done because the holidays tend to sneak up on me.

And with the holidays, for everyone across the board, comes more commitments, more pressure, and more heightened emotion. There’s this need, you know, for us as parents to make magical memories for our kids — from Halloween all the way through New Year’s.

And then the holidays always bring about their own extra to-do list — holiday shopping, meals, presents, planning, and of course, the calendar to map out: where you’re going, whose house you’re visiting, which parties you’re attending, and where you need to be at any given time.

Lead With Intention This Holiday Season

But when you lead with intention during the holidays, what you’re actually doing is giving yourself some space to intentionally decide what’s important and what’s not during this holiday season.

The intentional piece is what this is all about. If you don’t give yourself space to consider which commitments matter to you and which ones don’t — what holiday traditions you want to lean into and which ones you don’t — then what’s going to end up happening is that the holidays will sneak up on you.

You’ll get into that go, go, go mode from Halloween to New Year’s, feeling exhausted as you do it, feeling a lack of presence, and ultimately a bit of regret as you get to the end of the season.

Great Leaders Set Vision First

But when you lead with intention, you create space to set vision first. That’s what a good leader does — they set vision for their team so that everyone has a clear sense of the plan, what they’re moving toward, and what they desire.

That’s what makes the Boundaries and Balance Holiday Strategy Session such an important 30 minutes. It might be the only 30 minutes you stop and actually think to yourself, What do I want the holidays to be about? What really matters to me?

It’s literally an intentional space to do that.

Vision + Intention = A Balanced Holiday

Because if we don’t start with some level of intention and vision, we just hope we’ll somehow get the desired result — or in this case, hope that we’ll have a great, magical, present holiday season.

But likely, without intention, you’ll burn out in the process.

I don’t want that for you. I want you to lead.

So strategy number one that we’re borrowing from leadership is to lead with intention — lead with vision casting first. You’ve got to set aside time to do that.

Leadership Strategy #2: Lead With Courage

The second leadership strategy that we are borrowing is to lead with courage, right? A great leader cannot be a people pleaser. A leader has to hold vision higher than other people's emotions, right?

So when someone feels let down or disappointed or even disagrees with your decisions, you don’t second-guess yourself. You don’t go back into the decision-making process. You don’t beat yourself up and think, oh my gosh, maybe I should have gone to that thing or maybe I should have prioritized differently.

No. You don’t do any of that. You lead with courage.


The courage to say, this is who I am, this is what I want, this is what matters to me, this is what matters to my family. These are the traditions that matter to me and this is why. And it feels unshakable inside of you.

Holiday Expectations Require Courage

Now, the holidays, I know, for most of us come with sort of a heightened amount of expectations, right? Some of which we place on ourselves and, you know, what we want for our kids and so forth. But some of it is placed on us by our family, by our culture.

And some of those expectations don’t actually align with what we want. They don’t align with the kind of holiday experience we want to create for ourselves or our family.

Client Story: Choosing Rest Over Holiday Travel

I remember a client I coached a couple of years back around the holidays. She was just done traveling around the holidays. She had been doing it for years — she went to her family and then they went to the in-laws, and there was all this travel and they got to the end of the holiday season absolutely exhausted.

She had been trying for years to not travel during the holidays, but she felt so bad about it. Her mom was so good at making her feel guilty, so every year she decided to do it anyway.

And so this year I coached her on leading with courage during the holidays — really making that decision and standing by it to not travel. Of course, she was going to find other times to travel; it just wasn’t going to be during the holidays.

And she had to double down on all the reasons why that was important to her, so that even when her family didn’t like it and pushed back and guilt-tripped her, she could still stand by, with courage, what was important to her.

That’s what leading with courage is. It’s saying, yes, this is what the vision is, this is what matters, this is what we’re doing — even when there’s pushback.

Client Story: Two Full Weeks Off for the First Time

I had another client who just last year took two full weeks off during the holiday season. Two full weeks! Can you imagine that? She hadn’t taken more than a day or two off in years — let alone two full weeks.

And she was really, really anxious about it. She was anxious about being completely unplugged, about not checking her email or anything during the holiday season. So I coached her on having courage during the holidays — to be completely off, to really focus on memory-making with her family and the fun projects she wanted to do with her young kids.

Rest Creates Energy, Creativity, and Control

I remember she came back in January to our first session with this literal plastered smile on her face. She was in utter disbelief that she had truly taken the full two weeks off.

She had actually been able to rest — reading books, lounging around, doing fun projects with her kids. She was surprised she was able to do it for a couple of reasons.

First, it made her realize she had so much more control over her time and calendar than she thought she did. And second, she was surprised by how filling and energizing that time was. She came back fired up for the new year, full of ideas and motivation — all because she took that time to rest and led her time and commitments with courage.

In the Boundaries and Balance Holiday Session, we’re going to talk about the mindset and beliefs that you have to hold and maintain in order to lead with courage.

Because it’s one thing to set intention, have a plan, and have a clear vision — but it’s another thing to hold to it. To have the courage and confidence to not let other people’s opinions or emotions sway you.

So remember: lead with intention, lead with courage.

Leadership Strategy #3: Lead With Calm

The last leadership strategy I want you to borrow for the holidays is to lead with calm.

Calm is one of those qualities that all of us would probably say we want in a leader, right? You don’t want somebody that’s all over the map, feeling stressed out all the time, in the weeds, freaking out with you.

We want a leader that stays steady, one who can hold to that vision and remain more neutral in their emotional state — because the rest of the team can rise up to that same level of steadiness when that happens.

If you have a leader who’s frantic all the time — constantly strategizing, problem-solving, fixing things, going up and down — that’s an exhausting leader to have in your life.

Choose Calm Over Chaos This Holiday Season

We want to be leaders who hold to that vision, who take control over how our body is experiencing life and decision-making these days — and to not be frazzled in the process.

We want the same with our holidays. You want to lead with calm, not with stress.

And what’s going to be required to do that is a whole lot of emotional resiliency. You’ll have to learn how to take control over how you feel during the holidays — to not let other people’s words, comments, or opinions stress you out or make you anxious, frustrated, or angry.

We don’t want frantic stress this holiday season. We want calm presence.

Create Space for Calm to Lead Proactively

You have to learn how to check in on your emotional state regularly throughout the holiday season — take deep breaths, be reflective, create pockets of space to refill your cup, so you can lead from that energy of calm that you desire.

Calm is not going to just happen to you this holiday season, my friends. The holidays without intention are stressful, frantic, and full.

So you have to actually choose to lead from that place of calm. You have to create space and pockets for calm — to take a deep breath, to not respond immediately to every request, every kid meltdown, or every after-hours email.

You need to be proactively deciding to be a calm leader, not a reactive one.

Take Back Control of Your Emotions This Holiday Season

In the Boundaries and Balance Holiday Strategy Session, we’re going to talk a lot about what it takes to remain calm and to really take back control of your emotional ups and downs throughout the days, weeks, and season.

With my clients in the Ambitious and Balanced coaching program, we actually create a whole toolkit around this — to help them stay sturdy and calm even when everything else around them is swirling and stressful and people are stressed out.

But I don’t want you to be that way. I want you to learn how to lead yourself with calmness. So, we build an entire toolkit out of that.

But in the Boundaries and Balance Holiday Session, we’re going to focus on just one tool that I’m going to teach you.

Lead With Intention, Courage, and Calm

Lead with intention. Lead with courage. Lead with calm. Those are the leadership strategies I want you to borrow for this holiday season.

It’s not about making the holidays magical for everyone else — it’s about leading yourself through the holidays, which is going to give you the best possible opportunity to have the magical experience you desire.

Again, those $9 strategy sessions are only taking place up until Thanksgiving, and I’ve set aside a very limited number of spots — several of them just on the Monday and Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I’m hoping that makes it easier for you to find the time.

Because listen, if you don’t have 30 minutes in your calendar — if you can’t make 30 minutes in your calendar to talk with me about setting intention for your holiday season — then you are way too busy, right?

This is strategic thinking time. Time set aside for you to show up as the mom and leader you want to be this holiday season, and to truly take back control of your holiday experience.

I can’t wait to talk to you. Make sure you grab your link to the Boundaries and Balance Holiday Session in the show notes — that’s where it’s at.

And I’ll see you in the upcoming weeks.


Are you ready, moms? Let’s get to it.

Feeling the Holiday Pressure? Take a Deep Breath

Hey there. If you’re already feeling the holiday pressure starting to build — the full calendar, the expectations, the guilt — take a deep breath, because it doesn’t have to be that way.

Every year I used to tell myself, I just need to make it magical for everyone. But by the time Christmas morning came, I was so tired of doing it all, I barely felt any joy.

Join the $9 Boundaries & Balance Holiday Survival Session

That’s why I created Boundaries and Balance: Your Holiday Survival Session. This is a 30-minute private call where we’ll get to the root of your holiday stress, get clear on what you actually want this season to look like, and create your personalized holiday boundary plan.

It’s just $9, and you’ll walk away knowing exactly what to prioritize, what to release, and how to stay grounded when things get tough — so that you can actually enjoy the holidays instead of just get through them.

I’m only offering these sessions through Thanksgiving, and there are a limited number of spots available, so don’t wait. You can grab your session using the link in the show notes.

Let’s make this the year where you feel calm, confident, and in control of your holiday season.

Rebecca Olson