When Clarity Meets Community: The Inside Story of Sustainable Balance (with Jean Edward)

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Today, I sat down with my client Jean, a professor and mom of two, who shares what it was like to work with me first 1-1 coaching and then in the Ambitious & Balanced group coaching program. She opens up about hitting rock bottom after a personal loss, rediscovering her values, setting boundaries that actually stick, and learning to say no without guilt. We talk about the difference between therapy and coaching, the power of community, and how real transformation happens when clarity and accountability come together. This one is full of honesty, hope, and so many lightbulb moments for every working mom who wants to feel calm, confident, and in control again.  

Topics in this episode:

  • How clarity on your core values transforms every decision you make 

  • The difference between therapy and coaching (and how both can help) 

  • The power of community and accountability in the group program 

  • Practical tools for work-life balance 

  • What investing in yourself really means—and how it pays off

Show Notes & References:

Transcript

Intro

When Jean first started coaching, she didn’t realize how much she needed space to slow down, reflect, and get clear on what mattered most.

Through one-on-one coaching, she finally uncovered her core values, clarified her priorities, and began making decisions that actually aligned with the life she wanted.

But the transformation didn’t stop there.

When Jean joined the Ambitious and Balanced group coaching program, she learned how to protect those priorities — holding to her boundaries, creating daily habits that support balance, and realizing she wasn’t alone in the challenges of being a working mom.

In this episode, Jean shares what it was like to work with me in both containers — how one-on-one coaching gave her clarity and group coaching gave her community and tools for lasting change.

Tune in to hear how these two experiences built on each other and led Jean to a life that feels free, intentional, and truly balanced.

Are you ready? Let’s get to it.

Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom, I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.

Rebecca: Hello, hello, working moms. I am excited today because I have an interview with somebody I have been anticipating this conversation with. I’m really excited that she’s here today. Her name is Jean. I’m going to have her introduce herself in just a moment, but I’m excited because she and I have been working together for over the last year or so — I think it’s just been over a year.

She started as a one-on-one client, and then she joined the Ambitious and Balanced group coaching cohort over the summer. And so she has this experience working with me in two different contexts for two different reasons.

I’m just so excited to hear how she kind of frames up both of these experiences — what she got from each — and to really help you, as the listener, if you’ve been thinking about coaching or joining one of the Ambitious and Balanced cohorts, to frame up what this really looks like.

How does it differ? And to hear all that she gained from both of those experiences.

So I’m appreciative of her thoughts and her vulnerability. Thanks for being here, Jean.

Jean: Thank you so much for having me.

Rebecca: Absolutely. Can you tell us Just a little bit about you, what you do, family life, all the things. So we just get, a little bit of context.

Welcome Jean

Jean: All right, so I'm a professor. I am a cancer health services researcher. I'm focused on survivors of cancer and improving the quality of life. And I'm a mom of a three year old and a four year old girls. I love it.

What Sparked Jean’s Decision to Book Her Breakthrough Call

Rebecca: So a girl mom, yeah, I love that. So let’s just dive in talking. Let’s kind of go chronologically. Why not, right?

So a year plus ago, you reached out to me, booked a breakthrough call, and we chatted. Ultimately, you decided to join one-on-one coaching, which was a six-month commitment of working together.

We worked together three times a month — that’s kind of the usual commitment for someone working with me one-on-one.

Tell me about where you were at when you reached out for that first call. What were you really seeking when you were looking for a coach?

Hitting Rock Bottom After Loss and Overwhelm

Jean: Yeah, I spent some time thinking about what made me reach out for that first call with you. I would say I really was at rock bottom in many ways.

I had a one-year-old at that time, a three-year-old, and I had just gone through a late-term pregnancy loss. I think the loss really made me stop.

Meanwhile at work, things were just going on. I was writing and getting grants, I was taking on leadership roles — you know, life was just going on as if nothing had ever happened in my personal life. And it made me pause and think, this is just not right.

Like my work and my life — treating them separately…

Realizing Work and Life Needed to Connect

I had been listening to your podcast for a while, really trying to understand that those two things, need to have a relationship with each other. And I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t have the tools.

So I do remember my first call to you. I think I started off talking about the loss, and I told you, I know you’re not a therapist, but I need you to know how I’m coming to this.

Like, I’m desperate. I need the tools. I’m looking for help.

And that’s how it all started.

Catalyst Moments That Spark Change

Rebecca: Yeah, these are the moments that are catalysts for, I think, a lot of women that reach out for coaching, or for all human beings to find change, right? It is these catalyst moments — big, big change moments — death in the family, a loss of someone, a loss of or a big shift in career, a loss of job, a move.

You know, all these types of things that are big in life, big transitions, also become catalysts for change, right? Where we get to stop and reflect and say, Am I really doing the thing I want to do? Am I on the path I want to be on? Do I feel the way I want to feel about my life? Is this it? Is this really what I want?

And that fundamental question of kind of asking yourself and reflecting on Is this what I want? I think is such a big — is what drives a lot of people, right, to finding coaching or looking for support in some way.

Jean: And I never — I wish I could go back and say I wish I didn’t wait till I hit rock bottom to reach out.

But it’s the first time I’ve worked with a coach like you. And so now that I know that coaching is a tool that can reach into and be used during these time points that you’re saying, I think it just makes so much sense to be proactive about approaching coaching.

You Can Always Come Back for Support

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah. And I mean, as a side note, I just remember we’ve laughed quite a bit over, like, “But I’m not always going to have you, Rebecca.”

You’ll come to coaching sessions with something — it’ll be a moment where we’ve had some sort of deep conversation around something — and you’ll say, “But what’s going to happen when I don’t have you?”

And I’m like, “Jean, there’s no problem. You can always come back.” There are always going to be seasons. Like, I’m not going anywhere. I’m just a firm believer that you should always get the support you need. There’s nothing wrong, there’s no judgment there, right? For wanting ongoing support in that way.

Setting Goals and Defining Success in One-on-One Coaching

So I love that. So what were some of your key takeaways and insights over our six months of one-on-one coaching together?

Or actually, maybe before you even get into that — can you tell us a little bit about your goals? Because that’s an important part of one-on-one coaching in particular.

We have to establish, what are we really trying to get out of this experience? What do you want to walk away with?

How would you describe that for yourself? And then what were some of those insights?

Learning to Set Boundaries and Lead With Values

Jean: Yeah, I would preface that by saying that it took me some time to figure out what my goals were.

Even though in the initial conversation, you were so good at picking out things — like the tug of war between work and life balance, between growing my family and being there for my kids versus achieving all the things I want to achieve in my career — and finding that balance.

And so I think that was a big one, and also less second-guessing my decisions. I had a really hard time setting boundaries, and so working with you, that was something I was really looking for — how to make that decision, how to say my “no” is a no. And that took some time to process.

So yes, I do think I walked in having somewhat of an idea of what I wanted to do. And then even just in that first call with you, you were like, “Yeah, I think this sounds like the values that you’re saying.” And I was like, “Yeah, that’s it — that’s what I want to do.”

And so having those values to guide me throughout that whole process of one-on-one coaching — and in the Ambitious and Balanced program — was very helpful.

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah. So then what would you say, as you look back and reflect — I mean, now we’re talking, you know, a year plus, a year ago, nine months to a year ago or so — what would you say were some of the main takeaways that you walked away with from that experience?

Realizing My Values Stayed the Same, but I Changed

Jean: I think the main takeaway was — well, you always start with, remember your values and align your priorities to your values, right?

And so the values work that you and I did in the one-on-one took some time, because what I had to realize was that my values as Jean, the person, have always been the same. I’ve always had them.

But I’ve changed as a person — the Jean that was pre–first baby, pre–second baby, pre–losses, pre–changes in career. I continue to change, but I didn’t expect my priorities to. I didn’t sit down and really think about how my priorities had changed and how to align them to my values.

And so that was my biggest click moment — there was this alignment now between what it meant to be a mother of two with all the demands of my life and still staying true to my values.

Aligning Priorities and Setting Boundaries

And then boundaries — ensuring that I’m setting boundaries so that I’m protecting myself, those values, and priorities, and learning how to effectively do that.

So there were some key insights that I took away.

Values Work as the Foundation for Change

Rebecca: Yeah, definitely. I love this — I love wrestling with this question, you know, have my values changed? I have literally done that same values exercise with every single one-on-one client that I’ve had, right? So we’re talking several hundred women.

I have walked through the very same workbook — it hasn’t changed pretty much at all from the beginning. And I say that just because it has been such a foundational practice for all of my clients, and it’s the starting point for all of their journeys.

Because, to your point, it’s so important to establish that really early on — your values become a guidepost, on some level, that give a lot of insight into what matters to you.

Breaking Down Resistance and Letting It Sink In

Jean: And again, yeah, I just want to emphasize that that took a lot of work to do with you, and it was so foundational — it didn’t come easy. It was really fundamental.

And as I was thinking back to when I first started working with you, I’m not generalizing, but I’m sure a lot of other high-achieving women have some resistance when people are trying to teach you something.

You’re like, “I’ve done this though. I know how to do it.”

I feel like I had layers of bricks, and it took about three months for those bricks to come down for me to fully absorb what you were saying — and then a few more months to put that into practice.

So I’m glad the values work took some time, because now it’s really sticking with me.

Rebecca: Yeah. Like, knowing your values now — it sounds like you have them, on some level, in the back of your mind. They’re fairly accessible to you. They feel really clear to you.

What impact has that had for you? Like, really knowing and having defined these?

Making Every Decision Through the Lens of Values

Jean: Values — a big impact. Because almost every decision I make now, I mean honestly, if there’s one thing I walked away with, it’s that every decision I make, I’m thinking, “How is this aligned to my values and priorities?”

And if I’m having questions about it, then I think to myself, is it aligned? And if it’s not, how do I respectfully remove it or say no or cut it out of my calendar, or whatever step I need to take.

Which could be quite — you know, depending on the circumstance — quite brutal, even harsh.

Rebecca: Challenging. Brutal.

Jean: Yep, challenging.

Using Values as a Tool for Decisive Action

Rebecca: Yeah. So it’s become a real tool for you to make clear, decisive decisions — which is the point of it, right?

I mean, the point of all of coaching on some level is not to just endlessly talk about it, but to move forward, to have the tool set to move forward on your own, to be able to make decisions that are aligned — all of those types of things.

And I think that our values are something really innate within us, right? On some level, a lot of us think that what we value is what other people should value. Right?

Other people should just be kind. Isn’t that— isn’t that universal? Well, not really.

Our values aren’t actually universal. When it comes to something like kindness, I would say most of us do have a level of value for that, but whether it’s one of those core ones — where we make decisions based on it — maybe not.

Clarifying Values Brings Confidence and Certainty

And so when you actually put words to the things that feel so innate within you, it becomes this level of confirmation and certainty within you.

When you decide, No, I’m not going to work on that project, or I’m going to put a boundary up over here, or I’m going to say no to this, or Yeah, heck, we’re going to follow my husband and move, right?

Any of those types of things that happen — we get to come back to our values and say, Well, this — I know that this is what matters to me. I literally put language to describe it, and so I can see how it matches this or doesn’t match this.

And so my decision feels clearer.

Learning to Separate True Values from “Should” Values

Jean: Yeah. And again, there can be a lot that influences that — generational trauma, other issues that shape your values.

Because one thing that came to mind as you were talking is that initially, when we were doing the values exercise, I was naming a lot of values that I thought I should have — or that were just good values. Like, I want to give back, I want to be a good human being.

And you kept saying, “Yeah, but is that what you value, though? Or is it something that, because of your upbringing, because of being a first-generation immigrant, you think you should value?”

So it’s such a nuanced thing, but it really helped me to not feel selfish in wanting to value the things I do value — to stay true to myself, basically.

Rebecca: Yeah. So I’m hearing some of the results of that earlier work — of working through your values and reinforcing them and really digging into that.

I’m hearing things like making more decisive decisions and feeling more alignment in life. How else would you describe the results of having done some of that earlier coaching work?

Clarity, Decisiveness, and the Aftermath of “No”

Jean: Clarity and decisiveness. I mean, before, it would take so long for me to say yes or no — and now I know clearly whether it’s yes or no.

The thing I’m still working a little bit on is the aftermath of the no. Like, I said no to somebody yesterday, and I was very polite about it — like, I wrote an entire book to say no, which is again something I need to work on.

But then I felt so bad about it. So I feel like I’m good in some aspects with that no and moving on, but again — work in progress with that.

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah. You know, one of the things that has come up a lot for clients — this is a little bit of a side tangent — but recently I’ve just been having these conversations a lot.

Choosing Between Two Good Things

Oftentimes, when we get to this kind of stage of life — when you have a family, when you’re at least mid-level in your career, potentially moving up, whatever that looks like — there are a lot of good things that we have to choose between all the time.

Maybe you didn’t really want to say no, but because of limitations of time and energy, you had to say no — even though it was a good thing that you kind of wish you could have said yes to.

We’re just faced now, I think, in this season of life, with lots of good things, and we have to choose between two good things. And we like to think that there’s a problem there — like something’s wrong if we have to make those kinds of decisions.

But really, we’re at that point in life — and isn’t it a great thing? That you actually have lots of good opportunities, and that you get to be decisive about which ones you go after.

That’s an all-in life. That’s a regret-free life.

Learning to Say No to Good Opportunities

Jean: I have a great example of that too, because in my line of work, we write lots of grants and papers, and we get a lot of invitations to be on grants or to be on papers. And that’s a great thing — to be published and to have grant dollars, to build up your CV.

But then again, working with you, I was like, I do the annual goal setting, and I’m like, I’m going to do four papers this year and write two grants. And if I don’t get those, I might push for another one.

You know, like, really having clear guidelines — and not saying yes to every paper just because it’s a paper, but really thinking about, I don’t have time for this paper because I have other things that are taking priority.

Choosing Between “More” and What Matters Most

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because before, it was like, all dollars are a priority, right? And that was kind of a more “I need more — more is better on all levels” mindset.

And while again, that’s not necessarily wrong or bad, there’s a sacrifice that comes with that. And so yes, sometimes you want to choose the more — it’s the good thing — but sometimes you want to choose another good thing and not sacrifice that.

We have to choose intentionally in that way. So yeah, that’s such a great example.

From 1:1 Coaching to Group Coaching

So essentially, we worked together for around six or seven months or so, is what it turned out to be. And as we were coming to the end of our time together, we started talking about kind of what’s next, right?

I never want my clients to feel like they’re left in the dust. Part of the goal — to your point — of working together for six months is that we do a lot of that deep dive work first: establishing values, establishing goals, establishing priorities, a lot of that clarity work first.

And then we want to implement it together as much as we can, because that’s really where the hard part is, right? It can be hard to get clear, but I think it’s even harder to implement — to feel the hard feelings, to make the hard decisions, to say the no, to actually do that on a consistent basis.

For a lot of us, that’s where we kind of get off track.

And so, again, that’s why this container is six months. But then, as we were coming to the end of our time, I wanted to segue into talking about what led us into joining the next Ambitious and Balanced cohort.

Can you share a bit about that?

Jean: Yeah, I mean, two things. One, I already talked about how long it took for me to break down my barriers, to let your information and tools permeate and work. And so that happens — I’m a behavioral scientist, too, so I know that behaviors take time to change.

Rebecca: Oh, yeah.

Knowing I Still Needed Support

Jean: So I got the information, I started implementing it, and six months came to an end. And I was like, If you leave me now, I don’t think I’m going to do these things.

You know, I knew I needed more, but I didn’t need one-on-one because, you know, it’s a great program that you have — a nice package — and it worked.

And the other thing, too, is that I often would come to you and say these things like, “You know, a lot of women go through this,” or “It’s all in your podcast.”

But I didn’t want to believe you. I was like, “No, no, no, I’m going at this alone. I’m the only one.”

Rebecca: I'm the only one in the world that's struggling with this, Rebecca. I just know it!

Wanting Community and Accountability

Jean: And you’d be like, “Yeah, no.” And I’d say, “But… so other people do?”

So I think I wanted community and accountability, and you were clear that Ambitious and Balanced would allow me to have that.

Because I already had the skills and tools, and now I needed to know — how are other women doing this? How are they implementing this? What are their thoughts on this? I wanted their stories and their community.

Rebecca: Yeah, I mean, the power of being in a community of other women that have similar goals, similar life stages, similar challenges.

Jean: Right.

Rebecca: And being able to just normalize that entire experience, you know. There isn't a lot of containers for us as women out there.

Finding Courage and Connection Through Community

Jean: Right, right. And it’s still a vulnerable space. I wish society could move forward from this — to ask for help or want to have tools.

But I treat this the same as any training that I would receive. I came in to get training. That’s how I would treat therapy too — give me the tools, tell me what’s going on here so I can understand it.

And so it’s a vulnerable space.

And gosh, the women on your podcast, the women I’ve met in the Ambitious and Balanced program, were such amazing human beings — high-achieving parents going through the same things.

It was so nice to have that sense of community.

Rebecca: How long did it take for you to, like, get in and say, oh, I think she was right. I think I'm not alone. How long was that?

Realizing I’m Not Alone

Jean: I think it was like the second call with the group, because we were sharing our stories and things. And I think as soon as that happened, I was like, Okay, she’s right — I’m not alone.

And then I have your podcast to remind me I’m not alone too, because everybody shares those experiences.

The Power of Community and Shared Goals

Rebecca: Yeah, of course, of course. So, community and accountability were huge.

You know, we had certainly talked about a lot of the tools that I teach in Ambitious and Balanced — that process was something we did some of in one-on-one. But I kind of package it differently and frame it up a bit differently, since the goal of that group is purely work-life balance.

It’s purely about ending that tug of war, about feeling really successful in all areas of life. That’s the collective goal of everyone in the group.

Whereas in one-on-one, we can make those goals whatever we want them to be — we can frame them up however we want, super specific to you, your life, and what you need.

But in the group, what makes it really successful is that everyone’s working toward the same thing. And so, you relearned a few different things within that.

But what were some of the insights or tools that really sunk in for you in the group process?

The Daily Kickstart Made the Biggest Impact

Jean: Yeah, I think the Daily Kickstart I really liked. Let me just say that I really like the way you approach that, because in a group there could be so many needs, as you said, and you were really focused on like two — I think of two to three main things.

The thing that stuck with me the most was the Daily Kickstart, because, you know, whatever you want to call it—

Rebecca: Like two to three things that are like, that’s the tools that I focused on. Or, that was the tools. Okay, the tools.

Mastering the Daily Kickstart

Jean: All right, yeah — the tools. So the Daily Kickstart was something you really wanted everybody to learn and implement.

You know, we did all the values work and stuff, but that was a tool you really wanted everyone to get on board with — to learn how to use and truly integrate into their lives.

And I had already done some of the work, so I got a refresher. And it was really interesting because in academia, we say, “See one, do one, teach one.”

And so I felt good, because I was actually answering some questions around how you do the Daily Kickstart. I was like, “Okay, I’ve arrived. I know what I’m doing here because I can give others guidance.”

So I feel like that was solidified.

Learning to Transition from Work to Home

And then your Transition to Home — from work to home — that was something I struggled with a lot.

And I can safely say that I’m theoretically putting that into practice, in that I know I need to end my day and have closure with the workday before being with my kids and transitioning into family life.

So, those two tools were really great.

Applying the Pivot Protocol

And then you talked about the Pivot Protocol. One of the sessions was around that, and I think if you really step back and think about it, the Pivot Protocol is taught in all cognitive-behavioral interventions.

It’s about taking a pause and pivoting, and for me, that was really great.

You helped us walk through some pivot moments, and having those examples to walk through was really helpful.

Learning From Other Women’s Stories

Rebecca: Yeah. And listening to how other women are walking through that, right? And how they hear it in their head and how they describe it, right? And getting more ideas from that.

Yeah, for sure. These are like the three anchor practices of this group.

A Logical, Step-by-Step System for Work–Life Balance

And I’m such a, like, logical, linear thinker, right? I actually think it’s how my brain works, but I also think it’s one of the things that makes me kind of unique in my coaching style.

I kind of need the structure and the framework in order for me to understand something. It’s why it’s taken me so long to really understand emotional processing tools, because they feel so like woo-woo and kind of weird, and we’re talking about our feelings.

I’ve had to find very logical ways to think about those things — to find a way to practice them for myself, right?

And so even the idea of work–life balance is a completely subjective idea, right? And on some level, what I’m saying is I’ve systematized it for you — like I’ve literally given you a very clear, step-by-step process in order to get to that achievement. Right, t get to that goal on some level. 

Anchoring Your Day With Intention

And all three of those practices are anchors in that.

And, you know, on some level, what we’re saying is you need a morning anchor practice, you need an afternoon or before-home anchor practice. It could look like lots of different things — I’m not saying there aren’t other tools out there.

Here’s the tools that I use. Here’s — if you need structure, here’s what it looks like.

But what we’re really committing to is that you need to be super intentional with the way you’re thinking and feeling as you start your day.

You need to be very intentional with the way you’re thinking and feeling as you end your day.

And then you have to learn how to get yourself into those spaces throughout your day. Right — that’s what we’re practicing over and over and over again.

Jean: Right. I think you'd say like just a 30 minute commute or car. Car ride from work to home does not constitute switching one side to coming to another. It takes that intentionality, so yeah.

Staying Consistent With Your Anchor Practices

Rebecca: Definitely. It definitely takes that intentionality.

And we obviously work to figure out what really works for you in this program, and we troubleshoot for what gets in the way — what blocks you, right?

It’s easy to say, “Sure, I’ll take the first 10 minutes of my day or my workday to do that.” But it’s a whole other thing to not actually turn on your computer and sit down with a journal for 10 minutes. Whole other thing.

All right, so I’m putting you on the spot — but how are you doing at keeping to these two anchor practices, Jean?

Because we ended our work together a couple of months ago in the group, so I want to hear.

Jean: Yeah, you'd be proud to know that I'm like 95% on the The daily kickstart.

Rebecca: Yes. you're going to have it.

Building Systems That Make Balance Unavoidable

Jean: Yes, yes. I actually — and this is not a plug to any software — but I have, like, the reMarkable, and I downloaded your PDF and I have it in there. So all the prompts are there, and I just have to fill it in, flip over to the next day, and then I fill it in.

You taught a lot about systematizing but also ease — like building it in to where you cannot escape it. You know, even a post-it or an end-of-day reminder that prompts you to do this.

I think I’m about 60% on the Work-to-Home Transition, because again, I know the principles, I know what I need to do. I walk myself through it.

What I try to do is look at my end of the day, look at the calendar for the next day, and do your steps of the list — kind of like, what are the three things I’m going to achieve? And kind of move on from there.

It helps me find closure for the day.

Comparing One-on-One and Group Coaching Results

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah. So how would you describe — or what would you say — for you, the results of the group coaching specifically were?

And maybe even, how would you differentiate that from what you really got out of the one-on-one experience?

Personalized Support vs. Shared Growth

Jean: I think the one-on-one experience is obviously more personalized and customized, and I could pretty much access you anytime, which was nice.

Through the Voxer app, if I had a crisis, I could be like, “I need you!” — and that was so nice.

And we did have that in the Ambitious and Balanced group, too. We were still able to send Voxer messages there.

But you always felt like you’re in a group, so you don’t want to, like, burden somebody else. Obviously, there’s a little bit of that we had to work through.

Rebecca: But. Yes, I understand.

Why One-on-One Coaching Was the Right First Step

Jean: Yes, or some — this is another thing you have to work on — you might not want to feel judged for the question you’re asking or whatever.

But that’s where the one-on-one — like, if you have those emotions, which I do, I needed that. I’m also like, I needed the one-on-one because I’d never done coaching before. I really wanted to learn. I needed the time with you.

And so that’s how I would say — you know, walking away — why the one-on-one first helped me was because I got that personalized attention and time to work through some things with you.

Finding Clarity and Groundedness Through Personalized Coaching

Rebecca: And the results of that, as I’ve heard it, is there was a lot of groundedness, centeredness, a refining of self, and a lot of clarity over what mattered to you — how you wanted that to look in your life, the things you needed to lean into, and the things you needed to lean out of, right?

Very personalized to what your experience was, your challenges, your work life, your kids — all those things we can get really crystal clear on and tailor specifically to you.

Jean: Yeah. And I, you know, I had — I was coming out of a very difficult situation, and there was a lot of trauma related to it.

And so I didn’t know what part of it required psychotherapy versus this type of systematic, putting-things-into-place process.

And so that really helped — because putting these systems into place made a difference.

Rebecca: Did you do therapy during that time? I don't remember.

Jean: I don't think I did it at the same time as I worked with you. I think I did it prior to that. I think I did it first.

Rebecca: Just as a side note, how would you describe the difference between therapy and coaching? I think it's always a great question.

Jean: Well, this is not anything negative about therapists because they have their own way of doing things and exploring and probing. But I need. And some of them are very good about giving tools.

Rebecca: Yeah.

Accountability Makes the Difference

Jean: And at that point, I guess the reasons I was going to therapy were not the same reasons I was coming to you.

I’d walk away from our sessions with tools that I could implement, and then you would say, “Did you do it?”

Because I’ve never had a therapist say, “Have you done it? Did you read the thing I sent you?” No!

You would be like, “Did you read the thing I sent you? Did you do the thing?”

And so that was really good.

We’re busy people, so if no one’s holding us accountable, we won’t. We’ll just show up to therapy every week and talk, you know? Yep.

And that’s — that’s the difference.

Rebecca: Yeah. Accountability is huge.

Like, essentially, you’re not going to make an investment in coaching and not show up and do the work, right?

Not only because it rises up in you to rise to the occasion, but that’s part of my job as your coach — to keep you on track.

You’re going to come up week after week after week, and we’re going to talk about what those goals are. We’re going to talk about progress, and we’re going to talk about what’s getting in the way.

And if you did none of the homework and only came to the calls to talk about what progress is made and to make tiny mindset shifts along the way, you’d still make infinitely more progress than you would on your own.

Jean: Right, right.

Rebecca: Because we're forcing that reflection and conversation at least on a weekly basis as we talk in 1-1.

Staying Focused When Life Feels Overwhelming

Jean: And one more thing I’ll say that I really appreciated was that you kept me focused.

Because so many things happen in the day before our call, and I’d come into the call with all kinds of emotions and feelings — and yeah, you were like, “Okay, well, let’s stay focused.”

Because obviously you had a plan and a program, and you kept me focused — and that is exactly what I needed in the moment, you know? So, yeah. Yeah.

The Difference Between Therapy and Coaching

Rebecca: I want to go back real fast and kind of frame up how I think about the difference between therapy and coaching.

I actually have a podcast on this — it was probably a couple of years ago at this point. I’ll see if I can find it and put it in the show notes if anybody wants more in-depth insight.

But the way I summarize it is that therapy is often a place to go backward — to heal, to move past some trauma, to dig into family systems and where some of these challenges come from within you.

Coaching, on the other hand, doesn’t do a lot of healing at all. It doesn’t necessarily address trauma directly — that’s where therapy comes in.

Coaching kind of says, “This is where I’m at today.” It doesn’t really matter how I got here or why I’m here — this is just what my experience is today, and this is where I want to go.

These are my goals. This is how I want my life, my perspective, my behavior, and my habits to be.

And coaching is the process of moving from here to there, instead of necessarily going backward into past experiences to figure something out.

The Power of Investing in Continued Support

And you know what — now that I’m thinking about it, you’ve given yourself a ton of support over the last, I don’t even know, two years.

You went from a therapy experience, into a one-on-one coaching experience, into a group coaching experience, basically back to back to back over the last couple of years.

You’ve given yourself so much support.

And I’m curious — as you think about that, what are your thoughts?

Not a lot of women do that, and that’s why I want to point it out. A lot of women shy away from getting support. We don’t think we’re worth it. We think we should be able to do it on our own. We judge ourselves for not being able to do it on our own.

We don’t want to invest in ourselves — you know, all the excuses we give ourselves as women.

But you overcame that somehow. So I don’t know — what are your thoughts on it?

Driven by Motherhood and the Desire to Give Back

Jean: I have to say, it’s all my kids. It’s — I want to be a better mom. Nothing else matters.

I just want to be a better mom for my children. I want them to grow up with as little generational trauma imposed on them as possible. I want them to be as happy as they possibly can and to succeed.

And so that drives me — how can I be a better mom? Those are the tools I have.

But I also want to achieve at work and give back to society in a different way. And, you know, as many times as I’ve thought, Can I really give up work? — I just couldn’t, because I need to give back to the world in a bigger way than just through my kids, as lovely as they are.

And so that’s where I’m driven to find the resources to help me through it.

Creating Space for Healing Through Coaching

And then I just want to tag along one example to your therapy versus coaching point — you know, I was coming into working with you with some trauma, right?

But if you hadn’t helped me make space to do the work, to heal the trauma, I would still be like, I don’t have time. I don’t know when I can do this. I’m just going to give this up.

And so I think I needed both. That’s also kind of a great way — if you’re going through some other things — to find space. This program allowed me to find space, and the tools to do it.

Rebecca: Yeah. Just because you have to learn how to even allow for an hour a week for yourself, right?

Like, just that practice of I show up for this thing just for me and my goals.

In that practice alone — even if you do nothing else — you debunk this idea that you don’t have time for yourself, because you kind of force yourself to show up, week after week after week.

Making Time for Yourself — One Hour at a Time

Jean: I remember there was a time when you were like, “Well, what’s going on that you’re so kind of frustrated at the end of the day?”

I said, “I’m hungry and I just want to work out.”

And you said, “Well, do it.”

I said, “Well, when?” And then you said, “Block an hour in your calendar right now.”

And that’s what I did. And I still have that hour. I do 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of planks.

Of course, some days I don’t stay true to it, but it’s a reminder that it’s got to be somewhere in there.

And it’s such a small example, but it makes a difference.

You Have More Control Over Your Time Than You Think

Rebecca: You have more control over your time than you think. We like to think our calendar runs us, our commitments run us, our kids run us — all the things.

No. We have so much choice in how we spend our time.

I’m not saying those choices are always going to feel good, but you’re often choosing between two good things — a workout and getting through a couple more things on your to-do list. Both are good.

But the question is: why are you choosing? Which one are you choosing, and why?

And which one aligns with your bigger goals and priorities — that’s what really matters at the end of the day.

A Challenge to the Listeners

Jean: Yeah. And it’s a challenge to the audience — if you’re listening to this and you’re like, “Well, I can block an hour,” try it and see if you stay true to it.

There’s a lot that went behind me being able to stay true to it that came out of the coaching we did.

Why Working Moms Must Take Ownership

Rebecca: Yeah, so good. So good.

You know, I just wanted to circle back to the comments about our kids because this is one of the questions I ask a lot of clients when I’m on a breakthrough call with them.

I’ll ask them why this matters — like, why do they want to achieve the goals they’re saying they want to achieve in coaching?

And a lot of times it comes back to our kids, right? It’s wanting to be the next generation that supports our kids in a different way — that doesn’t have regret when we get to our kid’s high school graduation and send them off to college.

That gets to the end of our career and feels like we went all in and chose the right things for the right reasons — with no regret.

There’s so much motivation for us as moms in that, and as the largest generation of women who’ve chosen to continue working, we’re still culturally catching up to that reality.

We all know we’re not as supported as we need to be as working moms — culturally, financially, and systemically.

And so, on some level, we have to take ownership over what we want, because the systems aren’t quite there yet across the board for all of us.

Jean: Right, exactly, exactly.

Final Reflections on Coaching and Growth

Rebecca: So any final thoughts that you have around these two experiences? Anything you feel like you haven’t quite shared?

And along with that, if there’s somebody listening to this — hearing your story, hearing “Wow, two years of support” — and wondering, “What would it look like for me to get over that hump and say yes? I want to invest in something that’s going to be helpful to me,” what are your thoughts there?

Jean: Yeah, I think, you know, for me, the investment was supported by my workplace, so that was wonderful.

I received this fellowship and program grant called the Betty Irene Moore Foundation Nurse Fellows and Leaders Program, and we called their support Liberation Capital.

I know that can mean many things in different circumstances, but Liberation Capital for a working mom means having the tools to continue working and giving back in every way possible.

And so I was lucky to have that.

The Value of Investing in Yourself

But I also think that even if I didn’t have that support, I was — I don’t want to say desperate — but I was really at a moment of needing tools and help.

And I couldn’t really find anything similar to your program. I did all my research and found you.

So it would have been an investment either way.

Planting a Seed That Lasts Forever

So I think if somebody’s thinking about it — truly, it is an investment, and it’s an investment in yourself.

If you’ve gotten to that point and you break through that hesitation, that first call we had really helped me understand that this is something that’s like a seed you’re planting now — but it’s going to stick with you forever.

The True Meaning of Investment

Rebecca: Yeah. It’s the point of an investment — it’s why we call it an investment.

It’s not like, “Here’s the price.” It’s like, “Here’s the investment I’m making because it pays dividends down the line.”

The results aren’t just for today — they’re for years down the line, because you’re learning tools that you get to implement in every season of life.

To learn how to be clear, in control, and confident, and to build all of those internal tools — that’s life-changing, dividend-forming work right there.

So yes, it is an investment — both in time and money — to have the ongoing results of joy, confidence, and control:

Control of your calendar, not feeling like your calendar controls you, and feeling in control of your commitments and emotions. Absolutely.

Redefining Self-Care

Jean: And it takes me back to — I think you had a podcast on this too — self-care and how we define it.

Because I’m not one who gets my nails done often, and when I do, I’m just like, “Wow, this thing is expensive. How do people do it every two to three weeks?”

And I remember you saying, like, “Well, getting your nails done could be self-care if it makes you feel really good. I’m not saying don’t get your nails done.”

But I didn’t really know what self-care meant, because right now — or at certain moments — my self-care is sitting in a dark room watching YouTube videos of how to cook the next best thing.

But that doesn’t really help me when I walk away from it.

And so, anyway, I think it’s about investing in self-care, but recognizing that it looks different for everyone.

Sustainable Self-Care That Lasts

Rebecca: Like sustainable self-care — self-care that doesn’t just end the moment you walk out of the nail salon or the massage place or whatever it is, right?

It’s ongoing, because we’ve changed the internal narrative.

Yeah, I recently re-broadcast that episode — I think it was “Seven Effective Ways of Self-Care” — which all talked about internal self-care, not necessarily external.

And yeah, 100%. I love that. I love that you framed this within that because you’re 100% right.

Celebrating Growth and Freedom

Oh, so good. Oh, Jean, you’ve been — I mean, you’ve been incredible.

I know that we’re going to stay in touch for sure over time, and it’s just been such a joy to coach you in both of these ways.

And I’m so appreciative of your insight as you share here and give such a great description for people — because a lot of people do come on calls with me and we kind of have to decipher what’s the better container for them, what’s really going to lead to the results they want.

And so I think this gives a really helpful frame for people.

Also — I mean, you just exude freedom now. Like, truly.

You exude the kind of freedom that you didn’t have when we first started.

And it doesn’t mean life is perfect, but you have so much more control and freedom than you did when we started working together a year-plus ago.

So good to see — for sure.

Taking Time to Reflect on Growth

Jean: And you always say, “Always evaluate. Always sit down and evaluate.”

And I think only when I actually sit down and do that do I realize how far I’ve come.

Rebecca: Oh, my gosh.

Jean: And so when you invited me to the podcast, I was like, “Can I?” You know? And then when I sat down and reflected on it, it’s like, Yeah, I’ve really come a long way — and I really have some great tools to share, thanks to you. So I really appreciate the opportunity.

Rebecca: Absolutely. Absolutely.

All right, working moms — you’ve heard it from Jean!

The next Ambitious and Balanced cohort is forming right now. It’s the January 2026 cohort, starting at the end of January.

So if 2026 is the year where you’re really going to learn sustainable work–life balance, and you want to learn these processes and repeatable tools — literally, to restructure your life — this is the time to join.

2026 is going to be an amazing year.

And of course, if you want to dig in more personally, I’m happy to talk to you about one-on-one coaching as well.

The links to book a call with me to discuss this are in the show notes, and I look forward to staying close to your journey, Jean.

And until next week, everyone — let’s get to it.

Rebecca Olson