Follow the show:
Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Everywhere else
What if the reason you feel stuck right now has nothing to do with discipline or motivation?
In this episode, I’m breaking down the three quiet traps that keep so many working moms stuck in survival mode as we head into 2026. These patterns sound responsible and reasonable on the surface, but they’re the very things that keep you postponing joy, shrinking your desires, and telling yourself “later” will be better. We’re talking about why responsibility can become a cage, why waiting for the right season keeps you frozen, and why “it’s fine” is often the most dangerous place to stay. This episode is an invitation to stop settling and start choosing an unapologetic life—intentionally, not recklessly.
In this episode, we unpack:
The responsibility trap and why it quietly keeps working moms stuck
Why “later will be better” is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves
How settling because life is “fine” drains your energy over time
The difference between intentional waiting and disempowered delay
What it actually means to live unapologetically in this season of life
Work with me:
Ambitious & Balanced: www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced
Book a work-life balance strategy call: www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced-call
Transcript
Intro
What if the reason you feel stuck right now has nothing to do with discipline, motivation, or even confidence? What if the reason you feel stuck isn’t even exhaustion or ambition, but the way you’ve learned to talk yourself out of what you actually want?
In this episode, I’m breaking down the three traps I see keeping working moms stuck in survival mode and exhaustion as we head into 2026. They sound reasonable. They sound even logical, maybe even mature. But they’re the patterns that keep you postponing joy, shrinking your desire, and telling yourself later would be better.
We’re talking about why responsibility can be a cage, why waiting for the right season keeps you frozen, and why “it’s fine” is often the most dangerous place to stay.
If you’ve ever felt like you should be grateful but still know something more is out there for you, this episode will put words into what you’ve been feeling and offer a new way forward.
Unapologetic living isn’t reckless. It’s intentional. And it might be closer than you think.
You ready? Let’s get to it.
Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom, I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.
Living an Unapologetic Life as a Working Mom
Hello. Hello friends. I am feeling so energized as I am talking to you today because I’ve been thinking a lot about this word unapologetic, and I talked about it a bunch in last week’s episode. I highly recommend you go back and listen to that if you haven’t already.
But I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot and what it would look like for more working moms to live an unapologetic life. A life where they are going after all of their goals, where they are not feeling held back by responsibility or by the age of their kids or the constraints of life, but they’re just going after it all and believing that they deserve that unapologetic, regret-free life.
And I just get so jazzed up by this idea because it’s so much of the why behind what I do, and why I coach, and what my kind of mission is in this world through my company.
Why Survival Mode and Burnout Keep Women Stuck
And yet I know so many women that get stuck in this trap of surviving. So many women get stuck in cycles of burnout and exhaustion, and going after an unapologetic life should not feel exhausting. It should feel energizing to you.
So today, I want to talk about these stuckness traps that women get into. I want to identify what the sort of top three traps are that are going to keep you stuck in 2026 and kind of hold you back from going after the unapologetic life that you deserve and is available to you.
And then from there, I’m going to help you reframe each trap into a mindset or into a way of thinking that’s going to be really supportive of you living unapologetically this year. And, of course, I’m going to give you lots of examples and stories of working moms just like you that have moved through this stuckness and have gone after the life that they want.
Okay, you ready? Excited. Here we go.
The Responsibility Trap That Keeps Working Moms Stuck
So the first trap that I want to identify that is possibly holding you back from going after the regret-free, unapologetic life that you want is what I like to call the responsibility trap.
Now, this was a big one for me personally. Like, responsibility has sort of been ingrained in me since I was a kid. Like, it comes from my family system that I grew up in. I was always the responsible kid in my family. I was always doing the things that were right. I was focusing on my schoolwork. I was making smart choices. And I have had this really big fear of doing something irresponsible. Right.
And so when I got pregnant with my daughter, I knew at that point that I wanted to change careers. And eventually I realized that I wanted to become a coach and start a business and, and go through, like, coach certification and all of those things.
But it was a huge shift away from what I had been doing in my previous line of work, where I was first a theater stage manager and then an events manager. And so it felt, like, overwhelmingly irresponsible to make this big change and to go after this dream of starting a business and becoming a coach. Right.
Irresponsible. Like, I can’t do that. I have an infant. I’m the breadwinner of the family. I hold the insurance in the family. I am stuck where I’m at because it would be irresponsible to make any big changes now and to do anything differently. Like, that was the mindset that I was in.
And this trap is so common for women that particularly want to make really big changes or pivots in their career. Right.
How the Responsibility Trap Shows Up
I can think of past clients Erika, Hillary, Alison, Megan, just like countless of them that I have coached in helping them start, like, their dream business of some kind and have a more flexible schedule working from home, who all, ah, got stuck in this responsibility trap that held them back for years until ultimately they came to me in coaching.
We worked through it. I helped them take big steps towards those dreams of starting those businesses.
But I can also think of clients like Kara and Alison and Kendra who just wanted to be a stay-at-home mom for a while, just take a break from work, and that felt highly irresponsible to do.
Or I can think about Vicki. She’s a recent client of mine that had been burning out for years. So much so that it actually sent her on medical leave for a short period of time.
She had been dreaming, up till that point, of shifting companies to one that felt more aligned with her own values and her own skill sets, and that she really wanted to develop within herself. But she sort of made too much money, and, like, the stock options that she was constantly being given, like, vested every six months.
And so it, it felt too enticing. It was like the golden handcuffs, right? It felt irresponsible for her to make a change, even though she was really unhappy and burning out in that position.
Responsibility Doesn’t Mean Putting Your Life on Hold
So many examples of the responsibility trap that women fall into, where they believe it to be irresponsible to follow their dreams and to go after an unapologetic life.
And look, I’m not suggesting that responsibility doesn’t increase when, when you have kids. I think the majority of us would say that we do feel probably more responsible, more adult, like, right when we start having kids.
But responsibility doesn’t mean you put your life on hold. It means you make intentional, aligned decisions with your family in mind, not erasing yourself from them. Right.
You don’t become less responsible for following your desires and your dreams. You become more grounded and more present and, and more joyful when you do that. Right. That doesn’t sound like irresponsibility.
If you have some deeper dreams and goals for yourself, unapologetic things that you want to go after in this life, but you’re feeling held back by responsibility, I want to challenge you to answer this question:
How might it be the most responsible thing for you to go after your dreams or goals, whatever they are? How is it in fact responsible and not reckless to do that?
So that’s trap number one, the responsibility trap.
Trap #2: “Later Is Better” and Why It Keeps You Playing It Safe
Trap number two that is likely keeping you stuck and playing it safe, and keeping you from sort of going after your unapologetic life, is later is better. It’s the later trap, right?
It sounds a lot like this. I’m just, I need to probably just wait till my kids are a little bit older. Or I need to wait till my stock vests, or I’ll wait till after I have my second kid, or I’ll wait till we don’t have a preschool bill anymore.
Or it could sound a lot more subtle, like I’ll just wait till this project is over, or I’ll wait till we get through this quarter, or that new hire is up to speed and the team is feeling good.
Why the “Later” Trap Always Sounds Reasonable
The later trap always sounds reasonable, right? It always sounds almost logical and justifiable, right? It can also sound very responsible.
So a lot of the time, these two traps, the responsibility trap and the later is better trap, they sort of kind of go hand in hand. But the later trap is really about time.
And the problem with this trap is it’s sort of ingrained in this belief, whether you’ve realized it or not. It’s this belief that there’s an optimal time for you to go after your dreams and your own goals, right?
As if, if you timed it just right, you’ll either be more successful, things will be easier, or it will have less of an impact on other people. That’s sort of what differentiates between the responsibility trap and the later is better trap.
Why Now Is Better Than Later for Unapologetic Living
Now, I know I’ve been using examples of sort of unapologetic living as being sort of going after, like, really big changes, particularly in your career, like starting a business or changing jobs or becoming a stay-at-home mom.
Like, I know these are big, like, circumstantial changes that I’m talking about. And I know that doesn’t apply to everyone here that’s listening, right?
I know there’s a good portion of you that don’t want to necessarily change jobs, but you might want to work less hours. You might want to learn how to deprioritize work more and make more time and space for yourself, or more time and space for travel or for your health goals or for hobbies or for friendship, right?
Unapologetic living doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to make big circumstantial changes. It just might be the way you’re managing your time and, and what you’re choosing to prioritize, that you might want to do that differently, that will lead to a more unapologetic life.
And later is never better when it comes to prioritizing yourself, right? Now is always better than later.
There isn’t a perfect season where it gets easier to change your habits or make big career moves. Right. Change is hard no matter what way you look at it, right? Because your brain isn’t hardwired for change.
Waiting With Intention vs. Waiting From Fear
And just to be clear, I’m not suggesting that you go out and quit your job tomorrow because that’s what you want to do, if that’s your, like, big unapologetic step. I mean, I mean, maybe that’s what you want to do. That gets to be your choice. That is always an option for you.
But there might be wisdom in waiting until a little later in the year or a different season. But there’s a big difference when the waiting is a part of the plan. It’s like a step in the process. It’s like a structured, strategic decision that moves you closer to the big unapologetic life that you want to have and the goals, versus this mindset like, I can’t, I have to delay this, and you kind of feel disempowered by the decision, right?
Strategic Steps Toward a Regret-Free, Unapologetic Life
I didn’t quit my full-time job and then start my coaching business, right? I worked full time. I got my certification during that time. Eventually, I went part time in that job while I started the business. And then eventually I became a contractor doing the same type of events work I had been doing.
But that just kind of allowed me to have some more flexibility so I could build the business. And then eventually I quit the events industry altogether and I went all in to my business, right?
I think a lot of times we get stuck in this very black-and-white thinking of things, forgetting that there are strategic steps along the way that we can take today that’s going to make us feel really good about moving toward our regret-free, unapologetic life.
For example, if part of your unapologetic life is traveling more, just do one trip this year that pushes the envelope towards the life of travel that you want. It doesn’t even have to be a long trip. It doesn’t have to be an international trip. Just one trip that helps your brain feel like you are moving closer toward your travel goals.
So if you’ve been stuck in the later is better trap, and that’s holding you back from making the changes that you want to make in your life, here’s what I want you to dig into, the question I want you to answer:
What is one step that you can make today, or in the next couple of weeks or months, that moves you closer toward that unapologetic life that you want?
Okay, so we have the responsibility trap, we have the later is better trap.
The “Life Is Fine” Trap That Keeps You Settling
And the last trap I want to talk about that is likely holding you back from going all in to the ambitious and balanced, regret-free, unapologetic life that you want is the life is fine trap.
Okay, so this is a trap, essentially, that has you settling because things aren’t bad enough to make any sort of change, right? Life is fine. It’s not great. It’s not terrible. So there’s this feeling like you can’t go after the unapologetic life because things aren’t bad enough to do that.
That human behavior sort of suggests, and I’d probably offer that this is a very female behavior as well, but we as humans don’t like change so much that we only justify making change when things are bad.
When you’re in a really toxic work environment, when you have a really terrible boss, when you are passed up for a promotion for the second or third time, when you have 50 pounds to lose or a health diagnosis that would be irresponsible to ignore, right?
Change gets easier when it’s justified by terrible circumstances. And that’s true. It does, in fact, get easier.
But making change and going after your unapologetic life just because you want to feels selfish. At least that’s what a lot of women think. And it’s something that is possibly holding you back.
When “There’s Still Some Good” Keeps You Stuck
I was having a conversation with a past client recently who is finally making the decision to step away from her very toxic, unsupportive work environment. She’s going to take a break for a while and be with her kids, and then she’s going to start applying for other jobs.
And we had this conversation on and off for years. Now this, this trap is the one that has really gotten the best of her over the years, and it has really kept her stuck for so long because there’s still a lot of good in the job, right?
She, we can have this conversation about how she’s wanted to leave this job for lots of different reasons, and then, like, in the next breath she can say, yeah, but there’s still so much good that I’ve gotten from this job or that I could get from this job. And that sort of held her back.
So her family obviously still benefits from her being in this job. She’s been the breadwinner and all the things. And so leaving just feels really selfish because there’s still some good that comes from it, right?
Desire Is Enough of a Reason to Change
And so in our coaching together, we have had to keep coming back to this idea that simply wanting to leave, simply wanting something different for herself, simply wanting to be in a different work environment that’s more supportive of her, simply wanting to be in a job that challenges her, is enough of a reason.
And she gets to make her own choices, right? And desire is the only justification that she needs. You don’t need a terrible diagnosis or to be on the edge of burnout. You can simply desire change and that be enough.
I think there’s actually a bit of selfishness that comes from living unapologetically. I mean, yes, we can find lots of reasons. I think, like, there’s an argument to say why it’s not selfish. And there is simply the angle that says, like, doing something just for you because you want to is sort of the definition of selfishness.
And maybe that’s not bad or wrong or negative in any way, right? You get to decide if it’s bad or negative in some way.
You can make changes and go after the life that you want just for you. Do it because you deserve it. Do it because you’re worth having the unapologetic and the ambition and the balance and the joy in your life.
Why not? You only have one life.
When Every Trap Shows Up at Once
I remember during that season where I was working my old events job part time and building my business, and I was really struggling in leaving my old job behind and, like, the security of that paycheck and the benefits and all the things, and, and going all in to my coaching business for all of the traps that we talked about here today, right.
It felt irresponsible. It felt like if I waited, the timing would be better. It felt a bit selfish.
And it really wasn’t until I anchored into what I valued personally and what me and my husband valued on behalf of our family that I was able to really take that leap of faith and go all in to it.
Choosing Values Over Security
Because I remember a very specific conversation where my husband and I spoke about how our family, and one of the values we want in our family, is to support each other’s dreams, to not settle just because our dreams feel hard or risky.
And I remember we talked about wanting to teach our kids to not just go after a successful life, but to go after a meaningful one, one that was connected to bigger values and purpose, which is sort of the essence of unapologetic living.
And at that point, I was still so early in my business. I didn’t have any reason to believe that I was going to be successful. I didn’t really know, at least not at that point.
And it did feel really selfish because it felt like I was dying inside every time I would sit down on my computer and bring up another schedule and work through another spreadsheet for the next event I was working on. I hated doing that work.
And so it felt selfish to leave that paycheck behind to go all in to the business because I was doing it just for me.
But I would never tell my kids to do anything differently. I would never tell them to hold themselves back from the life and the joy and the meaning that they want in their life. And so obviously, I had to demonstrate that for them.
Your Desire Is Enough
My client that wanted to do more travel, she actually didn’t want to do it with her family. It wasn’t like family travel, at least not at first. She really wanted to take trips with her friends. That was something that she had done a lot of before her kids were born.
And, and it felt really selfish. She’d be leaving her kids at home with her husband as she went off to have fun with her friends. And yet that way of travel brought so much life and so much, it, like, fed her soul. There was so much joy. It got her out of her box.
It wasn’t actually selfish. It had a really positive impact on everyone else too.
But even if we strip that out, because we can go down a whole rabbit trail of talking about how when you follow your unapologetic life, actually, everybody else around you benefits, and there’s a great argument for that, and I encourage you to go down that line of thinking if you never have before.
And also, at the same time, your desire, your dreams, your wants is enough of a reason for you to go after your unapologetic life and goals.
It’s enough.
It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else.
It’s okay if it has an impact on other people.
Your desire is enough.
Don’t stay stuck in a trap.
The Beliefs That Support an Unapologetic Life
The next steps to your unapologetic life can happen right now. If I were to summarize some of the beliefs that I’ve spoken of here that are sort of the opposites of these traps that are going to help you to live unapologetically, here’s what they sound like…
What I want matters.
I am deserving of a life that I want.
Choosing joy isn’t selfish. Everyone benefits.
When I go after my unapologetic life, I just get to choose. It’s enough.
There’s no perfect time. Now is always better than later.
Following my dreams is one of the most responsible things I can do.
Unapologetic living isn’t reckless, it’s grounding. It’s intentional. It’s joy giving.
My friends, I want you to make 2026 a year where you live unapologetically.
Keep listening to this podcast. I’m going to help you all this year to go after your unapologetic life, to get out of your box, to get out of feeling stuck, whether that’s in a job or just in, in habits that don’t serve you anymore.
I am here for you as your working mom coach this year.
Keep listening to this podcast. Send this episode to a friend that really needs to get out of stuckness and into an unapologetic life, and I’ll see you all next week. Let’s get to it.
Schedule a work-life balance strategy call
Before we wrap up, I want you to picture what you want 2026 to feel like.
More presence. Clearer priorities. A calendar that actually reflects your values. And success that doesn’t come at the expense of joy.
That’s the work that we do inside Ambitious and Balance. It’s a program designed for working moms who want to feel in control of their time, confident in their decisions, and fully present in the lives that they’re living.
If that’s what you want more of this next year, the next step is to schedule a work life balance strategy call. On this call, we’ll talk about through where you are, what you want 2026 to look like, and whether or not this program is the right place to support you.
You’ll find the link in the show notes. I can’t wait to talk to you. And until next week, let’s get to.
