Stop Surviving (Part 5): Decide Like a Boss — How Confident Decisions Change Everything

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In this week’s episode of the podcast, we’re wrapping up the Stop Surviving series with one of the most game-changing shifts you can make as a working mom—becoming a confident decision-maker. I’m talking about ditching the overthinking, stopping the endless research rabbit holes, and making decisions like the boss of your own life. You’ll hear real client stories of women who went from second-guessing everything to trusting themselves fully, setting boundaries, and showing up with unshakable confidence at work and at home. If you’re ready to stop surviving and start living with clarity, confidence, and control—this episode is your roadmap.  

Topics in this episode:

  • Why confident decision-making is the ultimate work-life balance tool 

  • Three things that block your ability to decide with confidence 

  • How clarity, confidence, and emotional control (the 3 C’s) change everything 

  • Real client transformations from doubt to decisive action 

  • How to start making decisions like the boss of your own life

Show Notes & References:

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Transcript

Intro

Welcome to this very special series I'm calling Stop Surviving. This series is for every ambitious working mom who feels stuck in the loop. I just got to get through the day where I'm juggling so much work, kids, laundry meetings, and somewhere in there. You're supposed to feel successful, grateful, fulfilled, right? But instead, what you often feel is overwhelmed, exhausted, reactive, and disconnected from the life you've worked so hard to build. 

This series is about what happens when you stop operating in survival mode and start actually living again, where you take back control of work-life balance. I'm going to walk you through the most powerful and transformative results that women experience inside my group program, ambitious and balanced. We'll talk about the internal calm, taking back time for yourself, getting out of burnout and creating boundaries, actually feeling successful, and rebuilding confidence. 

If any of this speaks to you, I want you to know that the September cohort of ambitious and balanced is open right now. A few spots are already filled and I only hit 10 women and once I do, the doors will close. If you are tired of feeling like you're treading water and you're ready to feel calm, in control, confident, alive again, then you can go to my website, www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced to learn more and book a strategy call or grab one of those last spots. Are you ready? Let's get to it. 

Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom, I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.

The End of the Stop Surviving Series

Oh my gosh, friends. We have come to the end of this series, the Stop Surviving series, where we have been focusing on what happens when you go after your work-life balance goals.

The whole point of the series was to help you cast a vision over a life that's possible for you. Because sometimes, when you're working at changing your overworking habits and getting better at prioritization and boundaries and being present with your family, when you get into the nitty-gritty of daily life and trying to do it, you lose sight of the bigger picture of what's possible. The bigger reasons why you're going after your work-life balance goals to begin with.

“If Your Mind Can See the Goal, You’re More Likely to Create It”

Having a vision for the life that you want—like literally being able to see it in your mind and see how you would operate differently if you are experiencing work-life balance, to see how you would interact with your kids differently, to see how you would handle tantrums differently with your kids, to see how you would prioritize work differently, and how your schedule would look different if you were experiencing more work-life balance, and how much more you would smile and how much more fun you would have in life and actually enjoy the amazingness of the life that you have created.

If your mind can see the goal, can literally hold the vision of what's possible, then you're more likely to create it. And so this whole series has been about painting a vision of what's possible for you if you go after those goals.

In part one, what we talked about all those weeks ago, we talked about creating an internal voice of calm, where you're turning your internal voice from being a critic to a cheerleader, where you literally become the champion of your life, rooting for yourself and believing in yourself no matter what anyone else thinks, no matter how anybody else is running their own life, or if they even believe in you or not. You know that you know that you know that you're amazing, that you're a great mom, that you're valuable to your company, you're deserving of the life that you want.

From Overworking to Presence: Boundaries, Time, and Self-Trust

In part two of the series, we talked with Anna. I interviewed her and she talked all about how she moved from feeling so imbalanced to being able to have boundaries in her life, where she went through the Ambitious and Balanced program and she went from overworking—working 50, sometimes 60, hours a week—and feeling like her life was all about work, to being able to be present and be able to literally take in the sunshine of a moment and not always think about work all of the time.

In part three, we talked about reclaiming your time back, because in a balanced life, you literally have more time. Time for yourself, time for hobbies, time for fun, where you get more done and you're more productive, and time stops feeling scarce, and you feel like you can actually be in control of it.

And then last week in the podcast, I spoke with Ranjita, and Ranjita was in my last cohort of Ambitious and Balanced, and she talked about how she rebuilt—really—self-trust, where she lessened that internal criticism, where she felt confident in her direction, in her decisions.

Making Decisions Like a Boss

And then that brings us to today, the fifth result that happens when you go after work-life balance goals, and when you join the Ambitious and Balanced program, or ultimately just follow what we teach about right here in this podcast, is that you start making decisions like a boss.

Now, that sounds pretty cheesy to me. I know it is. But I could just say confident decision-making is what happens, but I literally love the visual of being a boss of your own life, right? Not needing a bunch of other people's opinions about what you should do, or what you shouldn't do, or how to handle your life, and what you should commit to, and what you should prioritize.

What Confident Decision-Making Really Looks Like

I just love this idea that you are someone that makes a decision, that sticks to it, doesn't go back, casts vision over what's important in your life, doesn't waste time going back and forth over pros and cons, and asking all their friends what they think, or what their coworkers think, right? You simply are someone that knows what you want, makes decisions based on that, and then confidently goes after it, right?

That's what a confident decision-maker is. That is one of the top results that this Ambitious and Balanced process gives you. It's what going after work-life balance goals is going to produce for you, right?

You are going to become a confident decision-maker, where you reclaim your time because you're not over-researching, or over-comparing, or over-analyzing. Like you literally gain back a feeling of empowerment because you simply decide once and follow through, right? You build self-trust into your decision-making, and so you build up the "I know what I'm doing, and I'm good at what I do" sort of internal talk, right?

Take a moment and imagine what that would do for you if you became more of a confident decision-maker, right? What would change for you if you weren't always second-guessing, you weren't over-researching, you weren't going back and forth, you weren't flip-flopping, you weren't looking to other people to tell you what to do all the time?

Imagine the Ripple Effect of Confident Decision-Making

Take a moment and just imagine how different life would be for you, right? Imagine how much more decisive you would be, how much less guilt you would feel, how much more you would advocate for yourself, for your own ideas, right?

Notice how you'd show up to meetings differently—with your boss, with your clients, with your coworkers, right? The next promotion that you wanted would likely come faster, right?

In fact, I've had several clients that have gone through the Ambitious and Balanced cohorts get promoted while in the three-month program or just after the three-month program, and that doesn't surprise me because their confidence skyrocketed, right? They were making more confident decisions. They were showing up as a more valuable version of themselves to their company.

Let's talk about what gets in the way of confident decision-making. Three things I want to focus on. The first one, and this is probably the most common thing that gets in the way of confident decision-making, is the need to get it right, right? In other words, it's sort of the avoidance of failure.

Why “Right” Is a Subjective Word

Now, let me be clear by what I mean by right, because the word right is actually a completely subjective word, right? What's right to you might not be right to me, and vice versa.

So, what I'm really saying when I say somebody wants to get to the right decision is they want to get to the outcome that they desire, right? You want to make one decision and get to the desired outcome, right?

So much pressure on this one decision, whatever that might be. Getting it wrong would mean not getting to the desired outcome—or, in other words, failure, right?

The Perfectionist Trap of Overthinking Decisions

Look, I fall into this category too. I'm a perfectionist. I have an overdeveloped need to control the outcome of every little thing that I can. And I've had to really work hard at that in order to find more balance, to find more happiness, to find more rest, to find more joy in my life.

I recognize my need to get to a right decision oftentimes gets in the way of me being able to decide at all, right? I remember when my daughter was first starting to walk—so we're talking around 12 months old—I spent hours researching the best walking shoes for first walkers, right?

I wanted her little feet to develop perfectly, and I spent hours, or really I wasted hours, figuring out the pros and the cons of various shoes. And then when I finally did make a decision, I didn't even feel great about it because I had spent so much time researching.

I essentially over-analyzed it, and I didn't even feel good about the decision I made in the end, right? Which is so common for over-thinkers, over-analyzers, over-researchers—to not even feel good about the decision in the end.

The Research Spiral That Keeps You Stuck

I have a client—she’s in the current cohort. I’m not going to use her name for privacy, but she self-identified herself as being someone that drowns herself in research. And lately, one of her kids has been having increased tantrums and meltdowns, and she is finding herself spending hours and hours in the evenings researching what to do, right?

I remember doing the same thing. And now, she’s an excellent parent, and I would never say that she shouldn’t be researching or increasing her knowledge so she can make a more informed decision. But at the end of the day, there really isn’t a right way to handle your kids’ meltdowns, right?

Why There’s No One “Right” Way to Parent

And there’s no way that anyone actually knows how to handle your kid, right? Your kid is unique. Your circumstances are unique. You’re a unique parent. And so it’s likely going to take time to experiment to figure out what works best for your kid—what sort of strategy, what sort of angle.

But she’s been sort of wasting time researching parenting methods, looking at all different types of ways of parenting through meltdowns, trying to find a sort of right way for her that’s going to make her feel better, ultimately to get to the result of her kid not having meltdowns anymore—which, of course, is an impossible goal.

Our kids are going to have meltdowns no matter how much you research parenting styles, no matter if you do it “right” in any sort of way. Your kid is still your kid, and they’re going to meltdown, and they’re going to have big feelings—and that’s okay at the end of the day.

The Faster You Decide, the Faster You Can Adjust

The point being, though, that she’s been focusing so much on trying to get it right that she’s actually not making decisions on anything. And so, day by day, her kid still is having meltdowns, she’s still getting frustrated, and they’re getting nowhere because she’s so hyper-focused on getting it right.

I remember being there. So many of my clients are there as well. In coaching, what I teach you is that there’s never a right way—there’s really only the way that you make right.

And if a particular decision doesn’t get to the desired results—meaning your kid still has meltdowns, even if you experiment with parenting in a different way—you have the option to make a different decision.

Which is why it’s better to contain the amount of time that you spend researching and asking for people’s opinions and filling your brain with knowledge so that you can just get to making decisions faster. Because if you don’t get to the desired results, then you can always try something else.

Lack of Belief in Yourself Leads to Indecision

The second reason why people lack confidence in decision-making is literally a lack of belief in self. It's like a lack of confidence in them. It's a lack of belief in their value, a lack of belief in their expertise and what they bring to the table.

And so there's sort of this need for people to validate their opinions. And they seek that validation before they can really make decisions and move forward and feel good about themselves.

And there's almost this feeling of being an imposter, where you're kind of walking around just hoping nobody finds out that you really don't know what you're doing and that you maybe shouldn't be in this job or deserve this job—because you're always second-guessing and wondering if you're making the right decision all of the time.

This kind of person that struggles with a lack of confident decision-making has an internal dialogue that says, "I'm not worthy." And they question themselves all the time because of it.

So, needing to get it right causes a lack of confident decision-making, and not feeling worthy—or a lack of belief in self—causes a lack of confident decision-making.

Why More Knowledge Won’t Make You a Better Decision-Maker

And the third reason people lack confident decision-making skills is they mistake expertise with confidence. And here's what I mean by that: an expert is not synonymous with a confident person.

You can be an expert and have a lot of knowledge in your field and lack confidence, because expertise is not what brings confidence. In the same way, you could be a confident person and not be the smartest person in the room, and not be the person that has the most knowledge—but you exude a level of confidence that says, "It doesn't really matter if I have the most knowledge or not."

The problem is, a lot of people that struggle with making decisions think that more knowledge is what's going to make them more confident. But in the end, confidence is really just about self-trust—trusting yourself and what you do know in order to make decisions.

Confident decision-making doesn't come with more knowledge. More knowledge makes you an expert, not necessarily a better decision-maker.

Why Confident Decision-Making Feels Hard for Ambitious Working Moms

So, to recap, the reason why confident decision-making is so hard for ambitious working moms is that you're hyper-focused on getting the desired results in one decision. So there's tons of pressure to get it right.

Or there's a lack of belief in yourself and your value and your position. Or, thirdly, you mistake the idea that more knowledge is actually what's going to bring you more confidence. And so you over-research, you focus on your lack of knowledge, and so forth.

Or it could be, obviously, a combination of all three of these things.

The Path to Becoming a Confident Decision-Maker

So now, let's talk about the process of actually becoming a confident decision-maker and how you do that inside the Ambitious and Balanced process and in this community.

There's a couple of things that you need to know about becoming a confident decision-maker and about confident decision-making before we even get into the process.

So, if a confident decision-maker is not necessarily an expert or the smartest person in the room, what is a confident decision-maker?

The Three Core Traits of Confident Decision-Makers

There's three things I want to highlight.

The first is that a confident decision-maker is hyper-focused on what they know instead of on what they don't know. Instead of spending an exponential—I can't even say that—amount of time researching to gather more people's opinions and more knowledge, they simply focus on what they do know and make a decision based on that.

So once a confident decision-maker makes a decision, rather than second-guessing it and sort of poking holes in how that decision might be wrong, a confident decision-maker redirects their mind to how the decision is right and how they're focusing and making the decision based on right things.

Lastly, a confident decision-maker doesn't change what they think about themselves and how they believe in themselves based on getting their desired result—meaning who they are stays consistent, regardless of if they get to the desired result the first decision out or not.

They don't indulge themselves in how they should have known better, how stupid they are, or how people are going to find out because they made a wrong decision, or how they shouldn't be here. They don't indulge in that sort of lack of confidence or lack of belief sort of thinking.

They simply acknowledge that, well, I didn't get to the desired result. I can still figure out how to get to that desired result as I make another decision.

How Self-Trust Transforms Decision-Making

I'm thinking about my client Bianca, who was in my very first cohort of Ambitious and Balanced. She was in this constant state of second-guessing herself, wondering what she should be prioritizing at any given time—feeling totally paralyzed by it all of the time, really.

And in her final evaluation, she said, "I used to be caught up in what I should be doing"—and “should” is in quotes, of course—"but now I just trust myself to go at my own pace."

She kept trying to live up to expectations of what she should be doing and how fast she should be moving. And she instead decided to start making decisions based on what was best for her—what she valued, what she cared about, what was important to her.

She stopped sort of stressing herself all of the time and started feeling much more at peace with who she was, what she wanted, and started making decisions that felt aligned with that—totally different.

Essentially, she stopped just trying to get it right, and she leaned into self-trust and the idea that she could figure it out. And so, decisions started coming faster to her, and she stopped second-guessing a whole lot less.

My client Amanda was always looking for people to validate her decisions, but in coaching, she started looking at her decisions through the lens of her values, through the lens of her goals, through the lens of her priorities.

She started filtering decisions based on things that mattered most to her. And so, her decisions started to feel more aligned. There was less inner turmoil over her decisions. She got a lot cleaner in how she was making decisions and what she prioritized.

Clarity Unlocks Confident Decision-Making

And my last client I have for you is my client Catherine. She came into coaching really having no idea what really mattered to her—what she should be prioritizing at any given time, right? Very lost.

She was staying available in the evenings, working all the time for her boss, right? Until she joined this program and she got clear on her priorities and what mattered most to her.

In her final evaluation, Catherine said, "I have clarity on what matters and the confidence to move forward, even if it's not perfect."

What I hope that you hear in all of these client examples is this through-line of clarity, right? You have to know what's most important to you, what you value, what your goals are, who you are, in order to make confident decisions.

Essentially, your decisions have to ladder up to a bigger perspective, a bigger goal, a bigger initiative, a bigger priority. That's how you're going to know that they're right, right?

Why Clarity Is Step One in the Ambitious and Balanced Process

So, clarity is always the first step of the process, and it's the first step in the Ambitious and Balanced process that I teach in my program.

Together, in this three-month program, I actually walk you through getting clear on your most essential priorities. There are four that we focus on in the program—what creates essentially a really sustainable, balanced life.

I teach you exactly what those four priorities are, and then I help keep you accountable to prioritizing those at all costs, essentially. I structure the whole program around you getting clear on your priorities because it truly is the first step.

If you don't know what's important to you, you can’t actually go about prioritizing it, right?

Confident Decisions Flow From a Confident Person

The second step to becoming a confident decision-maker is literally confidence, right? It's the heart of confident decision-making.

What I like to tell my clients is that confident decision-making flows out of a confident person—not the other way around. And a lot of women think that if they make the right decision, meaning they get to the desired result, then they're going to feel confident.

But time and time again, women over-research and they ask so many people, all of their opinions, all of the time, that they get to the end of the decision-making process, finally make a decision, and they feel exhausted by it.

They don't even feel good about the decision because they spent so much time over-analyzing it. Their brain is too scattered to feel confident about it.

Confident decisions flow out of a confident person, right? Which means that if you want to start making more confident decisions, trusting your decisions, not going back on your decisions, speaking up, sharing your ideas more, and advocating for your needs—then you need to believe in yourself at an unshakable level.

That's unshakable confidence. That's what I like to say.

Step Two: Building Unshakable Confidence

And in this three-month Ambitious and Balanced process, I actually walk you through a series of exercises that help you name, at a core level, who you are and what makes you valuable and unique.

Because I know that so many women, once they become moms, who they are has shifted a bit, right? And so, so many women come into this program and say, "I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't even know what I want to prioritize or what matters to me."

And so, in this program, I actually walk you through a variety of processes to get clear on who you are, what you value, what's most important to you, what success truly means to you.

So, in this program, you're going to walk away with a clear sense of what makes you valuable and what makes you unique and what's important to you.

So, step one is clarity—knowing what your priorities are, knowing what's important to you. Step two is unshakable confidence, where you know yourself and you believe in yourself at an unshakable level.

Step Three: Overcoming the Fear of Getting It Wrong

And then step three to becoming a confident decision-maker is getting over the fear of getting it wrong—the anxiety and the overwhelm that comes, that paralyzes you.

You have to be able to get over those emotions, right? And becoming a confident decision-maker doesn't mean that you don't have doubt. It just means that you move forward despite having doubt and despite having questions, right?

Because you've learned how to overcome that fear of doubt and that urge to second-guess, and you just keep moving forward despite that little voice inside of your head that is wondering if this is the right path, right?

I literally teach you emotional resiliency to recognize that little voice inside of you that's questioning your ideas and questioning what you're doing and if you're doing things right, and you learn how to redirect it.

You develop an internal cheerleading voice that's telling you that you're doing things right. In this program, I teach you a whole host of tools on how to build up the mindset and the emotional resiliency to be able to become someone that follows through with your decisions, even when there's a little bit of doubt.

The Three C’s of a Sustainable, Ambitious, and Balanced Life

So clarity, confidence, control over your emotions and your mindset—I call those the three C’s. Those are the three steps to creating a sustainable, ambitious, and balanced life.

Now, I know I’ve been saying this throughout the program series, but just in case you’re hearing this for the first time, I am currently forming the next cohort of Ambitious and Balanced.

So if this is resonating with you and you want someone to guide you through this process of getting clear on your priorities, building up unshakable confidence in yourself, and becoming a confident decision-maker that has a positive mindset and emotional resiliency to follow through with any decision you make, then now is the time to join—because I only take 10 women into this program.

So I keep it really small. It’s a high-touch coaching program, but there’s still a couple of spots left and one of them is for you.

What Makes This Program Different

Now, I don’t know any other program that operates in this way at this level because, in just three months, you’re going to reverse your priorities so that you and your family come first and your work ultimately comes behind that—but you don’t lose your success.

You don’t lose your productivity. Actually, you learn how to be successful and productive at the same level you are at right now while, at the same time, learning how to prioritize yourself and your family and rest.

So you actually get access to this entire process through a virtual classroom, where you’re going to get all the tools, all of the workbooks, and all the videos that are literally going to walk you through this process—where you are going to learn exactly what it takes to create a sustainable, balanced life.

And then we’re going to meet weekly, where I’m going to hold you accountable to your decisions of what you’re going to prioritize, where you can get coaching on the places that you feel stuck.

Again, this is a high-touch coaching program for 10 ambitious women who want to make work-life balance their top goal before the year ends.

When the Ambitious and Balanced Program Kicks Off

Now, the virtual classroom is opening up soon—actually just next Monday, August 18th. This is where you’re going to have access to all the materials, where you’re going to go through videos systematically, learn the process.

There’s going to be some optional office hours and some coaching that you have access to. And then we don’t actually start meeting weekly until September 17th.

So, you have a whole month to go through the process, go through the material, learn what you need to do, learn how to prioritize in the correct, sustainable way. Come to my office hours, get some coaching, ask questions.

We’re going to do some meet and greets and meet each other. And then, starting Wednesday, September 17th, we’re going to start meeting weekly all the way till Christmas.

The Results You’ll Create by the End of the Program

Okay, so three solid months where you’re going to implement the Ambitious and Balanced process every week, be held accountable to your work-life balance goals in a small group setting of other amazing, ambitious women just like yourself.

By the end of our coaching, you will have more time for yourself. You will find yourself more productive. You will have your mind racing less. You’re going to feel less anxiety, less overwhelm. You’re going to get better sleep.

You’re going to start prioritizing your family and feeling present with them and actually enjoying the amazing life that you have created.

Just like Anna, you’ll be able to put up boundaries, work less, but be just as successful and productive. Just like Ranjita—and you heard about her—you’re going to build up that inner confidence.

You’re going to second-guess yourself less, become that confident decision-maker, stand up for yourself, go after that next promotion or whatever it is you want with confidence.

You’re literally going to start smiling more, laughing more, and feeling like yourself for the first time in years.

Book Your Consultation Call Before Doors Close

The next step to join this program is to reach out—to book a 30-minute consultation call with me to discuss exactly where you're at, what you're looking for, and ultimately to make sure you are aligned with what this program is all about.

The investment is $2,000. It can be broken up into payment plans if that's easier for you. But I never want money to be what's coming in the way of you creating your ambitious and balanced life.

So please, if you are committed to this process and interested in joining this program, but money is the barrier, please schedule a consultation call. Let's make sure you're the perfect fit and then talk about what we can do financially to make it work.

So I've opened up a few more spots to speak with you this week because the doors are closing on Friday. Let me say that again: the doors are closing on Friday because the virtual classroom opens next Monday.

So if work-life balance has been your goal this year and you're still feeling stuck and you're still feeling behind, now is the perfect time to invest.

Imagine Feeling Balanced and Present by the Holidays

The virtual classroom opens on Monday, but we don't even start talking—we don't start our weekly calls—until September. So there's plenty of time to get through the material, plenty of time to learn the process before we actually start speaking on a weekly basis.

So reach out, book your call if you have not already. Start showing up with confidence and the power that is within you.

Ugh, working moms, you are amazing. I believe in you. I believe that there's so much more for you in this life. You can do it. I know it. I would love to speak with you about how we can make that happen by the end of the year.

Just imagine that—by Christmas, you're going to be feeling so much more balanced, so much more present. You're going to regain so much time for yourself. You're going to show up with a totally different narrative for people by the time the holidays roll around.

I can't wait to have that for you and speak with you about it.

All right, working moms, you can book that consultation call by going to my website, rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced. Just click on one of those buttons that says book a call. There's also a link in the show notes, of course.

Until next week, working moms—let's get to it.

Join the Next Cohort of Ambitious and Balanced

If you're listening to this thinking, yes, I want this kind of balance, but I have no idea how to get there, I want to personally invite you to join the next cohort of Ambitious and Balanced.

This is my signature group coaching program for working moms who want to stop overworking, stop people-pleasing, and finally start prioritizing themselves without sacrificing their ambition or success.

You'll walk away in this program with tools to switch out of work mode and be fully present at home, to make decisions without any guilt, to enjoy time for yourself without checking your inbox, and finally to feel like you're in control of your life again.

One of my clients that graduated from the program recently said, this is the first time I felt like me since becoming a mom—and that's the power of this program.

But listen, materials are going out Monday, August 17th, and we start in September. Only 10 women will be accepted, and once it's full, it's full.

If your whole body just said, I need a program like this, then go to www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced to get all the details and to save your spot.

Balance isn't just possible, it's closer than you think. Are you ready? Let's get to it. 

Rebecca Olson