Top 4 time management mistakes

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In this week's episode of the podcast, I’m diving into the four "priority thieves" that are secretly sabotaging your time and making it hard for you to truly prioritize what matters most. These sneaky time-stealers are keeping you from unplugging after work, being present with your family, and actually tackling that never-ending to-do list. I’ll break down each one and share how they’re affecting your ability to live the ambitious and balanced life you crave. Get ready for some game-changing insights—you won't want to miss this!  

Topics in this episode: 

  • The four "priority thieves" stealing your time and focus 

  • How to unplug after work and be present with family 

  • Overcoming the urge to check emails and stay online 

  • Strategies for sticking to your priorities, even when life gets hectic 

  • Tools for creating a more ambitious and balanced life  

 Show Notes & References: 

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Transcript

Intro

There are four priorities that you need to stop prioritizing right now because they are robbing you of your ability to actually prioritize and follow through with the things that are most important to you. These four priority thieves are making it very difficult to log off and stay off, to be unplugged at the end of the workday, and be present when you're with your family and to actually get through your to do list in today's episode, I am covering each of these priority thiefs and showing you how they are stealing your time and making it difficult to experience the ambitious and balanced life that you want. You ready? Let's get to it.

Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms Podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom. I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.

The Secret to Work-Life Balance Is Effective Prioritization

Hello, working moms. Happy Monday.

Today we're going to build off of what we talked about last week on the podcast, which was about the process of prioritization. Because I've been thinking a lot about how effective prioritization really is as a tool that unlocks balance.

If someone came to me and said, “I want to figure out how to have more work-life balance,” I would say to them, “You need to learn the art of effective prioritization.”

That’s the solution.

Effective Prioritization Means Sticking to Your Priorities

But the word effective is what's really important here.

Effective prioritization is not just learning how to prioritize—it’s learning how to keep to your priorities, no matter what. Just like we talked about on the podcast last week, that is actually the hardest part.

You need to learn how to overcome the urge to check your email or stay on your team’s messaging when you're trying to work on a project you’ve deemed important. You need to learn how to not over-prepare, and be okay giving yourself a contained amount of time to work on a presentation or prepare for a meeting.

When your brain starts thinking about all the things that didn’t get done today at work, you need to learn how to overcome that strong desire to log back on and “just do a couple more things” before you go to sleep.

You need to be able to walk out the door and get your nails done, go see that friend, or go to your yoga class—even when your toddler is having a complete meltdown.

Effective prioritization is not just learning the process of deciding your priorities. It is also having the skillset and tools to stick with them. That’s the hardest part.

Learn Prioritization Inside Ambitious and Balanced

If you've been following along, you know I’ve recently opened the doors to enrollment for my new group coaching program, Ambitious and Balanced.

This is where you’re going to learn exactly this. I’ll walk you through a process of learning how to prioritize all of your competing tasks. Then I’ll teach you about a dozen different tools for keeping those priorities.

You’ll learn the process in the first week of the program, and then we’ll spend the next three months together implementing, tweaking, and practicing—with full support from me every step of the way.

By the end of our three months together, you’ll have:

  • A priorities-first calendar

  • A complete toolkit you can draw on

  • The confidence to hold to the things that matter most to you, always

This Is Coaching, Not a Self-Paced Course

Enrollment is open, but I’m only taking ten amazing women.

And because I’m keeping this group so small, in order to join you’ll need to schedule a 30-minute consultation call with me. That way we can make sure you’re a good fit.

Some women who have already started this process asked me: “Is this more like a self-paced course, or is it a coaching experience?”

I want to be clear: this is not a course.

Yes, I’ll teach you the process of prioritization. Yes, you’ll get tools, a printed workbook in the mail, and online access. But this isn’t something you’ll learn once and be sent off to do on your own.

We’ll meet every single week for one hour to:

  • Coach together

  • Evaluate what’s working and what’s not

  • Make tweaks

  • Build momentum

This is a structured group coaching experience, not a self-paced program. I’ll be walking with you through the process, helping you make decisions, stick to them, and perfect your follow-through over three months.

Sign Up for Your Consultation Call

If you’re interested in being one of the ten, you can go to the show notes and click the link to get more information and sign up for your 30-minute consultation call.

Or, just head straight to my website: www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com, and click on Group Coaching.

The Lightbulb Moment: Priority Thieves Are Stealing Your Balance

Okay, so let's build off of what we talked about last week. I'm so fired up to talk about this because it came to me like a light bulb moment. Literally, I was sitting there thinking, oh my gosh, everybody needs to know about this, and I knew I had to do a podcast episode on it.

Last week you learned the process of prioritization. Today I want to talk about the four top priorities that most of you probably don’t even realize you’re prioritizing—priorities that actually rob you of your opportunity to stick to your decided priorities.

There are four very common priority thieves. That’s what we’re going to call them today: priority thieves. I want to talk about each of them so that you can self-identify if one of these is your problem. Because that’s what’s holding you back from prioritizing and managing your time in the way you really want—and what ultimately keeps you from experiencing the ambitious and balanced life you desire.

Why I Call These the Top Four Time Management Mistakes

Now, I titled this podcast “Top Four Time Management Mistakes.” Let me explain why.

We’re really talking about priorities you don’t actually want to be prioritizing—because they’re stealing time away from what matters most. But I placed it under the umbrella of time management because work-life balance and prioritization are fundamentally about your time.

Work-life balance is about spending your time on your priorities, goals, and values—the things that matter most to you. It’s about making sure you’re living in alignment and putting your best time and best energy into what truly counts.

For me, when you do this well, I call it work-life balance. It’s learning how to spend your time and energy wisely. That’s the foundation of a balanced life. And that makes sense—when most people think about work-life balance, or even Google it, what they see are time management strategies, because these two things go hand in hand.

So these four priority thieves we’re going to talk about? They’re the top four things you’re actually focusing on that don’t matter to you—and they’re robbing you of your time and energy.

Priority Thief #1: Being On Time

Let’s talk about the first one: being on time.

Now, I know some of you just cringed—because you’re definitely someone who hyper-focuses on being on time. And I’ll admit it: that’s me.

For me, being on time is connected to being reliable and dependable. Someone who is on time feels like someone you can count on. Of course, there’s more to being reliable than just punctuality, but it’s a big piece. Being where you say you’re going to be and executing in the way you promised—that matters.

There’s nothing wrong with valuing punctuality. But here’s the problem: being on time often directly conflicts with other priorities. The most common? Being a connected and present mom.

Connection and presence are the two most common words I hear from working moms when they describe the kind of mom they want to be. I have never heard someone say, “I want to be an on-time mom.”

And yet, how often do you hurry your kids out the door in the morning for daycare or school? How often do you feel the rush and urgency of the clock, saying things like:
“Come on, come on, we’ve got to get going. Drop your Legos, we have to go.”

I’m basically repeating what I say to my own kids all the time. I am 100% someone who has struggled with this.

Choosing Connection Over Punctuality

It’s when I drop the agenda of being on time—or drop that priority altogether—that I feel the most connected as a mom. I feel proudest of how I show up when I let go of punctuality in favor of connection.

For example, just yesterday, my son needed to get ready for soccer. Our schedule is packed right now—back-to-back activities about four days a week. He gets home, needs to get dressed for soccer, squeeze in homework, eat dinner, and then head out the door—all in about an hour.

So my husband and I start telling him, “Come on, buddy, you need to get dressed for soccer.” Of course, he ignores us. Eventually he goes to his room, but when I check on him a few minutes later, he’s just sitting on the floor building Legos.

I could hear my husband getting frustrated—because our son is seven, fully capable of getting ready. And in that moment, I had a choice: prioritize getting him ready to be on time, or drop that priority and focus on being present.

The Power of Dropping the On-Time Agenda

Because I’m so aware of these conflicting priorities, I chose to drop the “on-time” agenda. Instead, I walked into his room, closed the door, and sat down with him. I said, “Hey bud, can I play Legos with you?”

You could feel his whole energy shift. The tension melted. He grabbed a Lego bin, gave me directions, and we played side by side. After a few minutes, I told him, “I love playing Legos with you. In five minutes, Dad’s going to call us for dinner, and then I’ll help you get dressed for soccer. Deal?”

Immediately, he agreed. We played a few more minutes, got the five-minute warning, and then—without resistance—he dropped the Legos, got dressed, and we were out the door on time.

Here’s the amazing thing: when you stop prioritizing punctuality and focus instead on connection, more often than not, both priorities are met. It is rare that when I prioritize presence with my kids, we actually end up late.

Prioritizing Connection Over Being On Time at Work

Now, we could also talk about this as it relates to work as well—like valuing being on time to every meeting. Oftentimes, that actually gets in the way of you being a connected and present manager or leader.

I promise you will always feel better about yourself as a leader, as a manager, and as a human being when you prioritize being connected and present instead of being on time. Prioritizing punctuality is truly robbing you of your actual priorities. It is not the most important thing.

Priority Thief #2: Preparedness

The second priority thief is preparedness.

Now, we talked about this in the last episode, and I mentioned that I did a whole other episode on this, which I call the 75/25 rule. I’ll link that in the show notes. So I’m not going to go too far into this, but here’s the gist: the priority of being 100% prepared is robbing you of your actual priorities.

When your brain thinks you need to be fully prepared for a meeting, presentation, workshop, training, or class conversation, you will always spend more time preparing than is actually necessary.

A client said to me recently, “But I’ve heard you can never really spend too much time preparing.” I’ve heard that theory myself, but I think it’s 100% wrong.

You have a finite amount of time in your day. Preparedness is subjective—you’ll never actually arrive at 100%. Preparedness is a feeling. What you really want is calmness, groundedness, and confidence.

And here’s the truth: no amount of preparation creates those feelings. Your thoughts do. Your confidence comes from what you think about your preparation, your expertise, your experience, and your ability to show up—not from endlessly tweaking slides or rereading notes.

When you give yourself a contained amount of time to prepare and then practice trusting yourself more, you not only feel more confident, but you also gain back hours for your real priorities. Needing to be 100% prepared is robbing you of your priorities.

Priority Thief #3: Availability

The third priority thief is availability.

In an ambitious and balanced life, you cannot always be available. You cannot always prioritize being someone who is constantly accessible. There are times you work and are available, and there are times you do not work and are not available. You actually get to choose which is which.

But many of you don’t. You let availability rob you.

A client came to a call recently saying she felt so behind at work. When I asked her why, she said, “It was just one of those weeks. A lot of people needed me. I was pulled into meetings. I couldn’t get my work done, so I had to work late.”

But the truth? She was prioritizing being available. She wasn’t closing her door. She wasn’t turning off notifications. She wasn’t telling people no. She was letting herself be pulled into everyone else’s priorities.

Here’s the danger: when your brain thinks the solution is, “I’ll just log back on later,” you’ll always give away your time during the day. And when you log back on at night, you’re robbing yourself of your real priorities—rest, connection with your partner, fun, maybe even intimacy.

Availability robs you. You don’t need to be in every meeting. In fact, when I ask clients what percentage of their meetings they could skip without consequence, the average answer is 25%.

If you spend 20 hours a week in meetings, that’s 5 hours you could reclaim. That’s 5 hours back for what actually matters.

Priority Thief #4: Responsiveness

The fourth priority thief is responsiveness.

Responsiveness is that urge to get back to someone right away—to be prompt no matter what.

I have a client who works with another client who consistently emails and messages her during off-hours, on weekends, and in the evenings. For years, she gave in to the urge to respond right away. And here’s what happens when you respond after hours: you get a response back. Then you’re sucked into a back-and-forth exchange, spending far more time than you intended, and robbing yourself of rest, family time, or even just peace.

When I asked her, “What would happen if you just stopped responding during off-hours?” she said, “Nothing, really.”

So why did she keep doing it? Because she felt more prepared for the next day. And again, here we are—preparedness, robbing her of her actual priorities.

Responsiveness steals your time at work too. Every time you stop what you’re doing to answer a ping, email, or text, you lose momentum and focus.

How much time would you gain back if you simply stopped believing you had to respond immediately?

Stop Prioritizing Responsiveness: Protect Your Focus Blocks

Right? When somebody messages you during your workday and you’re in the middle of doing something else—maybe your heads-down time that you’ve set aside to get a project done and completed (that’s one of those time blocks we are going to work on in Ambitious and Balanced)—you’re actually going to decide those work blocks and then you’re going to learn how to keep to them when you join the program.

Okay, but let’s just say you’re in one of those. You’re like, I’ve got to get this thing done. I’ve got to get it done by the end of the hour. I’m going to send it in. Somebody messages you—you do not have to respond back to them right away. Did you know that? You don’t have to.

When you stop being responsive, guess what? People get more resourceful. They trust themselves to make more decisions. They fail more and then learn from that failure and then get better. The whole team becomes more resourceful when you stop being so responsive to everyone’s requests and messages.

The 23-Minute Rule: The Hidden Cost of Distraction

There was a study that was done—I find this absolutely fascinating—done about productivity. I was looking at the numbers just to refresh myself, but I read this whole study at one point. Studies show that it takes—this is mind-blowing, wait till you hear this—it takes up to 23 minutes for your brain to get back on track once you’ve allowed yourself a distraction, like answering somebody’s text or message or checking social media for 30 seconds or a minute.

Twenty-three minutes of lost productivity.

So essentially you’re working on a particular task, a message comes in or somebody walks into your door, or you just feel the urge because you’re kind of stuck to log on to social media. You just do that for a minute or two. And so your brain thinks you’ve only lost a minute or two checking social media, or only a minute or two when somebody walked into your office, or a minute or two while you quickly answered somebody’s message.

But studies show it takes 23 minutes to get back to the same level of productivity you were at before that distraction. You have to refocus your mind. You have to reorient your thoughts. You have to regain that momentum. And all of that adds up in time, right? Sometimes as much as 23 minutes.

It is no wonder that so much time is being wasted. Listen to this: it’s literally a thief of your time to be someone who prioritizes responsiveness.

People-Pleasing + Perfectionism

All right, four priority thieves: the need to be on time, the need to be prepared, the need to be available, and the need to be responsive.

If I wanted to say this a little differently: it is your people-pleasing—the need to be available, the need to be responsive, even the need to be on time—and your perfectionism—the need to be 100% prepared, and for sure that need to be on time. Those two things are robbing you of your time and your ability to stick to your priorities.

How We’ll Fix It in Ambitious and Balanced

My friends, I am going to help you overcome your perfectionist and people-pleasing habits. It is essential if you’re going to create an ambitious and balanced life.

In the group, I’m going to help you with this in two ways:

  1. Skillset: I’m going to teach you the skillset of overcoming the urge to be available and on time and responsive—those are the people-pleasing tendencies. I’m going to teach you how to overcome the urge to perfect and to be 100% prepared. It is that overwhelming urge that is getting in the way of you following through with your priorities and prioritizing in the way that you want. And I’m going to teach you a very specific process on how to do this, and we’re also going to tailor it specifically to you. So that’s one of the major things we’re going to do in this group.

  2. Reduce the Urges: I’m going to help you lessen the number of times those urges pop up. You are literally not going to feel the need to be on time as much. You’re not going to feel that pull. You will not feel the need to always be 100% prepared. You will not feel as much of that need to be available and responsive.

Now, I’m not going to say those urges are going to go away—not at all. That’s near impossible to get rid of some of those urges. You’re just going to have a toolset on how to overcome those urges when they show up, and I’m going to help you make sure they don’t show up so much.

So that sticking to your heads-down time, sticking to your work hours, saying no, sticking to the time that you said you were going to go to that yoga class or meet your friends or spend time with your partner—your ability to stick to your priorities, however you’ve decided them, is going to get infinitely easier.

Small Cohort, Big Support

This is so good. You are not going to want to miss this group. I am only taking ten women into this first cohort.

And not only are you going to learn all of these tools and then practice them with me in the group for three months, but for this first cohort—I’m not sure if I’m going to do this again—for this first cohort, I am offering continued support for the rest of 2025. We are going to meet weekly for three months and then monthly for an additional ten months, which is going to get you all the way through next year.

The investment is 2000, and there are monthly payment options if you need that. I am just so pumped to get this group going. The doors are going to close on September 20, and our first call is September 29. It’s coming up, my friend. You’re not going to want to hesitate.

It is time for you to schedule that 30-minute consultation call with me to see if you are a perfect fit for this program—to be one of the first ten.

You can go to my website, www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com, then look for the link that says Group Coaching to get all the details and get on my calendar for that 30-minute consultation.

All right, working moms, I cannot wait to get going. I can’t wait to talk to you next week. And until then, let’s get to it.

Rebecca Olson