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I’ve been thinking a lot about those seasons in motherhood and work where things just feel hard… longer than you expected. In this episode, I’m sharing why the belief that “it’ll get easier later” is actually what’s keeping you stuck, and how shifting out of that waiting mindset can completely change how you show up today. This is one of those perspective shifts that sounds simple, but once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
In this episode, we unpack:
The hidden trap of “if-then” thinking that keeps you stuck
Why waiting for the next season steals your sense of control
The one powerful question that instantly shifts you into action
Real client examples of choosing agency instead of waiting
How to create balance now—not later
Work with me:
Learn More About Ambitious & Balanced: www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced
Book your FREE Work-Life Balance Strategy Call:
www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced-call
{Free Download} The Daily Kickstart:
www.ambitiousandbalanced.com/daily-kickstart
Transcript
Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom, I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.
When The Hard Moments Don’t Pass
So there are these moments in motherhood where something is happening, right? It's not just hard, it's like, it's been hard for a while. Like, way longer than you probably thought it would be.
I had this with my daughter during a season where homework was just like a battle every single day. I mean, like, school screaming and resistance. Like, the whole thing. And I remember thinking, we should be past this by now. Why is this still a problem?
Or even now with my son, where I'm like, how are we still having the same conversation about getting ready in the morning? I thought this would get easier. And it's not just that the situation is hard. It's the thought.
I thought it would be easier by now, right? This shouldn't be happening. Because what that thought does is it makes you feel like something has gone wrong, right? Like you're behind. Like, this isn't how it is supposed to be.
Waiting For Things To Change
And what most of us start doing in these moments is we start waiting.
waiting for our kids to grow up
waiting for the season to change
waiting for things to calm down
waiting for somebody else to step up
And so what I want to talk about today is what happens when you stop waiting. Well, for me, a lot of waiting has happened with my kids and how my kids go in various stages.
For my clients, waiting has looked like just trying to get through a particular project or a particular season at work, or the waiting will show up for some of my clients that have particularly busy seasons, like tax season for those that work in finance, and they'll be like, oh, my gosh, I just got to get through April 15.
The problem is that for so many working moms, they don't see this as waiting. They actually just see it as factual, right?
I just have to wait this season out, and then I'll be able to rest or then I'll be able to dial back how much I'm working or my logging on late or fill in the blank, right?
I just need to wait until my kid can actually get their shoes on or get their clothes on all by themselves. And get out the door and then, I'll be able to have a much calmer morning, right? Fill in the blank for yourself. If I can just blank, then I can blank, right?
If I could just get through this project, then I can stop working so late in the evenings.
If my kids stop waking up in the middle of the night, then I will have the energy to start working out again.
If my husband took on more around the house, then I would stop feeling so frantic and depleted all of the time.
Fill in the blank for yourself. What is your version of the if then?
The Belief Keeping You Stuck
Because this is you waiting, this is you settling and believing that there's really nothing you can do about this today. Like you just have to wait it out until the season is over, or the project is over. When your husband starts helping out more, your kids are a little bit older, or you have a different boss, or the project is over, right?
Waiting For The Future
When we are stuck in this cycle of waiting and believing that relief or rest or balance is sort of in the future, then we lose complete agency and control over our actions today.
Another example of this is I have a client who recently started a new job. I think she's been in the position maybe three or four months, right? A new company, learning a brand new product that she has to sell because she's in sales. And it's not uncommon for my clients when they start a new job. I mean, I hear this all of the time - you sort of get stuck in this waiting game.
If I could just get a little bit more comfortable with the job, then I won't feel as stressed anymore.
If I could just be a little bit more knowledgeable in what I'm doing, then I won't have to spend so much time working in the evenings.
If I could just prove myself a little bit more, then I won't have to sit in at every meeting.
It almost sounds kind of logical in our brain, particularly when it comes to a new job. Right?
You Don’t Need Relief in The Future, You Need It Now
But the problem is for my client, she's exhausted. She's exhausted improving herself. She's so stressed out all the time. She's not making time for herself or feeling very present with her family. She doesn't need relief in the future, she needs it today.
And that's why waiting can make us feel so stuck, because it just feels so darn true. As if there is nothing we can actually do about it. As you can't control how quickly you learn something in a new job, right? Or how quickly your kids grow up and are able to take care of putting their shoes on, or if your husband helps out around the house or a timeline on a project, right? Most of these things you don't actually have control over, so it doesn't feel like you could do anything about it. And so all you can do is wait. Right?
The Question To Get You Out Of Victim Mode
So now here's the question I want you to sit with. It's exactly the same question I ask my clients at this very moment. It almost feels like a magical question I'm not going to lie. Because it immediately moves you out of sort of a reactive, almost like victim mode where there's nothing you can do, and it puts you right into your prefrontal cortex, which is where you need to be to actually strategize and think more strategically. It does all of that in a second. You ready for it?
Here's the question. What would you do if you stopped believing that you just had to wait and get through this season? Essentially, what would you do if you just stopped believing that there was nothing you could do about it right now?
That your stress and your overwhelm or your lack of balance or overworking was not circumstantial, it was actually something that you could fix? If that was true, what would you do?
I can't even tell you how many times I've asked this of my clients. I mean, like, easily thousands of times, Right? Because I think it's one of the things that makes coaching so powerful. It's not that I have all the answers for you as a coach. I just get to hold a perspective for you.
Because sometimes we get so into the weeds, like, believing our stress and our overwhelm is just factual and there's nothing we could do about it - it's my job as your coach to show you or to really remind you of your full ownership and agency and control that you have over your life.
“This Is Just a Season” — Why That Belief Isn’t Helping You Find Balance
Now, you might be saying, look, Rebecca, you're not at my job. There are really just legit seasons that are hard and overwhelming and where you just have to spend 60 hours a week working. And maybe it's when your husband travels for work and you're solo parenting. Like, these seasons are just seasons. I have to wait it out. I have to push through. I got to get to the other side.
And, look, I'm not saying I'm an expert of your life, but what I'm offering to you is that that's just not a helpful belief to have. It's not helpful to believe there's nothing you could do about it. It's not helpful to believe that balance and rest and presence and fun and confidence is out there in the future. Right? It's not helpful to believe that.
So what if you believe that the life that you want is possible today? If you could, in fact, figure out how to get that workout routine in or take time for yourself or stop working late or get the sleep that you want and not wake up in the middle of the night stressed out.
I mean, what if that was possible? What would you do?
A Working Mom’s Win: How Shifting Your Mindset Creates Real Work-Life Balance
I was messaging my ambitious and balanced cohort — that's my group coaching program that focuses on creating sustainable work-life balance. And we do it all together in a small cohort of about 10 women. And it's where I help you put into practice essentially all of the things that I teach you here on this podcast.
And so we have a private chat for those that are in the current cohort. And so we were celebrating our wins for the week, and one of the amazing working moms in this group was celebrating how even though her husband was away at work, she had gotten this babysitter to watch her daughter for the day so she could get a bunch of stuff done that she needed to get done. And then, of course, the babysitter got sick, and then she had no one, right?
Even then, she was able to get everything done that she wanted to get done and still feel like a present mom. And the reason she was able to do that is because she didn't believe there was nothing she could do about it. Right? She didn't fall into the trap that we can get in that was like, oh, my gosh, well, there goes my day, I guess. I can't get anything done that I wanted to get done, and just kind of feeling bitter and resentful about it, right?
She didn't believe any of that. She had caught on to the way her brain was working, and together in this program, we've been working on still believing you can do anything that you want to do because it's all within your control.
So she didn't believe that she had to, like, throw out her whole day and all of her plans. And so instead of believing that, she was like, what could I do to still get done what I wanted to get done today? What can I do to prioritize the things that really matter to me? And then she figured out how to do it.
Stop Waiting for “When It Gets Easier” — How to Be Present With Your Kids Now
And then that client of mine that recently started a new job, when I asked her what she would do when she stopped believing that she just needed to get through the season and, you know, she just needed to get up to speed, and eventually it would get all, you know, it would get easier.
She said, well, if I stopped believing that, I'd probably come home and I'd put my phone away and my laptop away and just actually be present with my kids for a couple of hours. It would make all of the difference if I did that.
So then, of course, as she said that, we were able to then troubleshoot for how to make that happen today, not in the future, not when she gets, quote, up to speed, but today, now.
Work-Life Balance Doesn’t Happen When Life Gets Easier—It Happens When You Stop Waiting
Life is always going to feel full. For us as working moms, there's never going to be a magical end of every season of its challenges, right? Every age has its ups and downs. Every level in our career demands more time and attention.
Work-life balance doesn't happen when your circumstances change. It happens when you stop waiting around and you decide you're essentially done waiting.
Work-life balance happens when you stop believing that it's possible in the future, and instead you believe that you could figure it out today.
The Moment You Decide Changes Everything
So I want to leave you with this reflection. Where are you waiting around for things to get easier, for you to have the life that you want? In what areas of your life are you waiting for the season to end or the project to end or your partner to change, your kids to get a little older?
And then you'll plan to take that time for yourself, or you'll plan to get into your workout routine or you'll stop overworking, whatever it is for you.
Once you've identified that, I want you to ask yourself, if you decided today that you were done waiting, that it was actually possible for you to have exactly what you want, that life that you want, that balance and that success that you want today, what would you do?
Because the moment you stop waiting is the moment things start to shift. Not because your circumstances are going to magically change, but because you're going to change. You're going to move out of reacting and feeling defeated into figuring it out and being strategic and actually solving this challenge.
Ambitious and Balanced Program: Apply for the Next Cohort Starting in July
There's actually a blueprint to this that I teach my clients in the ambitious and balanced program. The next cohort is going to be starting in July, and I'm starting to take signups right now. I'm having individual calls, kind of cherry picking, handpicking the people that I want in this group to make sure that it is extremely successful and that everybody in this group really is a good match for each other and for the results that we're going to powerfully create.
So if you are interested in connecting with me about joining the next cohort in July, I would love to speak with you. You can go to the Show Notes to book a call with me to discuss what that program looks like and to see if you are the perfect fit for it.
The Daily Kickstart
But if you're not quite ready for that, I want you to know that what we're talking about here is like a skill set, okay? That's how I teach it at least. It's literally something that you could practice. It's something that you could build into your everyday life, not settling and not waiting, right?
And that's why I created the Daily Kickstart. This is a simple, short practice to help you sort of step into intention and reconnect with exactly who you are and who you want to be and sort of get out of defaulting into reactive, overwhelmed versions of yourself.
And so if this episode really hit home for you, you feel like you've been waiting and you're ready to get out of that waiting cycle, I really encourage you to grab your Daily Kickstart. That's a free offer for you.
Again, you can go to the Show Notes to get the download for that, but this is going to be the tool that I encourage you to use to stop waiting, to get into an intentional space where you start believing that you are fully in control of whatever results are that you want in your life and that they're available to you right now.
All right, working moms, have a great week. And until I see you again, let's get to it.
The Simple 10-Minute Practice to Beat Overwhelm and Take Control of Your Day
If you wake up most days spinning with 100 different priorities vying for your attention, then the Daily Kickstart is exactly what you need. It's a simple, six-step process that helps you get your thoughts out of your head, reset your mindset, and refocus on what actually matters.
It's designed to help shift you out of overwhelm and into calm, confident action before the chaos hits. This daily practice is the same tool I offer to all my clients, and it's going to show you exactly how to lead your day instead of react to it.
It takes just 10 minutes a day, and the impact will ripple through everything — your mood, your energy, your presence with your kids, and how you lead at work. My clients indicate time and time again that this tool was the one that made the biggest difference for them, and I'm offering it to you totally free.
You can download it by going to www.ambitiousandbalanced.com/daily-kickstart. And of course, I'll have that for you in the show notes as well.
