As working moms, we are never fully present.
When we’re at work, we’re thinking about the kids. When we’re at home, we’re thinking about work. When we’re at the park with the kids, we’re thinking about making dinner at home. Our bodies are present but our minds are somewhere else entirely.
Consequently we never feel like we’re good at anything. Our work suffers. Our home life suffers. Our marriage is strained. We can’t give 100% to anything and our self-esteem and confidence plummet.
Being a working mom means our brains are almost always juggling too many things. And despite the fact that this is a popular solution, multi-tasking actually means multi-failing. Sure we can get by with the effort we put in when we multi-task, but its not our best work. We aren’t our best self and we shouldn’t settle for always operating from this place.
For many working moms, they find it most difficult to stay present in moments of transition. Or better yet, they find they can’t stay present if they have not taken some time to transition.
What do I mean by this?
Take a moment to remember what it was like for your toddler to transition. Whether that was from home to day care, or from the car into the house, or from playtime to bedtime...generally speaking, toddlers need LOTS of time to transition. They need to be warned ahead of time, they need us to have immense patience during the transition and they need total acceptance when they have strong emotions regarding it.
Well…the same is true for us as adults. We need time, patience and acceptance in times of daily transitions (when we go to or from work, when we go from being with our kids to being without our kids, when we go from sleeping to waking, etc.). Having a plan or a routine for these transitions is immensely helpful in keeping us in the present and preventing us from multi-tasking. We are more likely to operate from a place of strength, rather than depletion.
What can you do?
Take some time to answer the following questions:
- What daily transitions do I find especially challenging?
- What do you think you need to help alleviate these challenges?
- What are 2 or 3 next steps you can take to accomplish this?
When you perseverate on what just took place an hour ago, you are not fully present. When you worry about what to make for dinner when you get home from work, you aren’t fully present either.
Living in the moment means doing exactly that. Taking time to transition is just one way to help you move toward a more present and fulfilling life.
Looking for more tips, ideas and support as a working mom? Join me and other working moms in our Facebook group, Aligning Motherhood. Click here to join.