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For the first time ever, I handed over the microphone to two badass moms from my Ambitious & Balanced coaching program and let them take over the podcast. No script. No questions. No coaching from me. Just an honest conversation between two working moms about what life looked like before coaching, what finally made them say yes to investing in themselves, and what's changed since.
What followed was a candid conversation about confidence, guilt, boundaries, burnout, me time, and learning how to stop carrying the weight of everything alone. If you've ever wondered what it's actually like inside Ambitious & Balanced, this episode gives you a front-row seat.
In this episode, we unpack:
What finally pushed them to seek support instead of trying to figure it out alone
How guilt, overwhelm, and negative self-talk were impacting their daily lives
The four types of time that helped them feel more balanced and in control
Why confidence became the biggest transformation from coaching
How small mindset shifts created major changes at work and at home
Work with me:
Ambitious & Balanced:
www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced
Book a Work-Life Balance Strategy Call:
www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced-call
Book Your Mental Load Reset Call Here (with free Quiz!):
www.ambitiousandbalanced.com/strategy
Transcript
So this episode's going to be a little different, and I'm really, honestly excited about it. Two women from my Ambitious & Balanced group coaching program, Sarah and Sarah Anne, basically came and took over the podcast. They sat down together, turned on the mic, and just talked to each other. No script, no questions from me, nothing. I didn't guide it. I didn't prompt them. I just let them go.
And what came out was one of the most genuine conversations I've ever seen on the show, and I wasn't even in it.
They talked about where they were before they joined, what made them finally say yes to the program, and what's actually different in their lives now. And the things that came up—confidence, feeling like their time is actually theirs again, letting go of the guilt, me time—those are things that I hear from women in this program over and over again.
But hearing them say it to each other, unprompted and in their own words, it just hit so differently. I think this one is really going to stick with you.
And before we get into the episode, if you've been on the fence about joining one of the upcoming Ambitious & Balanced cohorts, let me suggest you do exactly what Sarah Anne did: schedule a Mental Load Reset Call.
This is going to give you just a taste of what coaching with me would look like. One-on-one, we'll be able to talk about your life, your vision, your struggles, and create a specific plan for how to move forward.
There's a link in the show notes to book your Mental Load Reset Call. All right, are you ready to hear from them? Let's get to it.
Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom, I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.
Sarah: All right. Hello, everyone. There's some new voices here today. We are some of Rebecca's clients taking over the Ambitious & Balanced Working Moms Podcast today.
So, my name is Sarah Schlichter. I am a mom of three based in the Washington, D.C. area, with a fourth on the way. And I'm so excited to talk to you today.
And my co-host is also Sarah, so I'll let her go ahead and introduce herself.
Sarah Anne: Hi, I'm Sarah Anne, and I am a mother of two little boys, 5 and 3. I live in the Cincinnati, Ohio/Northern Kentucky area.
And actually, fun fact, it is my birthday, so we're just coming off of birthday season at my house, and we finish it off with the best for last, as I always say.
Sarah: Yes, what a special day. Thanks for joining us Sarah and tell us a little bit about what you do for work.
Sarah Anne: I am a relationship manager at key private banks. So essentially I help high net worth families protect, grow and leave a legacy for their wealth. How about you Sarah, what do you do?
Sarah: I am a registered dietitian, and I'm not someone who works in a clinical hospital or anything like that. I do see some patients, but I more so do a lot of media and spokesperson work, food blogging.
So I would say my food blog is sort of my main thing, Bucket List Tummy, where I share family-friendly and kid-friendly recipes.
So I feel like all day, every day, I'm either making kids' snacks or talking about feeding babies, feeding kids, trying to reduce stress for parents, and about to kind of go through it for the fourth time. So that's sort of my jam.
Sarah Anne: Well, congratulations.
The Breaking Point: What Finally Made You Reach Out for Coaching?
Sarah: Thank you. So Sarah, you have so many facets. I mean, I love the arts, the music, and the finance, of course.
So take us back to last year, or whenever it was that you really had a breaking point or started feeling overwhelmed and reached out to Rebecca.
How did you find Rebecca, and what did that look like with whatever challenges you were facing?
Sarah Anne: So I'm not getting paid by KeyBank to promote this, but I will say we have an awesome resource in our employee resource groups. And so our Parents at Key, I think is what they're called, had Rebecca come and host a session for us. And so that was when I was first introduced to her.
Then I started watching her podcast, listening while I would take my walks, and eventually she offered, around the holidays, a discounted consultation. I think it was around the holiday hustle and not getting all wrapped up in it.
Sarah: Yeah, I remember that.
An Eye-Opening Moment for Sarah Anne
Sarah Anne: So I took her up on it, and for me, last Christmas, or just the holidays in general, unfortunately I lost my brother-in-law on Mother's Day weekend last year.
And it was also my boys' birthdays—they're a month apart, so we do a joint birthday party. So it was... we found out at the birthday party because he didn't show up. The whole entire family was there.
And so, fortunately for my in-laws, they haven't experienced a lot of loss like I have. So I don't have a ton of family, so I'm very close to my in-laws.
So I kind of have this, I think, innate quality inside of me that I want to make sure that everyone's having a fantastic holiday. And I think I had heightened that more around last Christmas because it was the first. The first of firsts.
And I've gone through a lot of firsts, so I feel like I was an experienced warrior. I know how I can make this a smoother holiday experience.
And in reality, during my coaching call with Rebecca, it's like I can't believe I needed permission, but it's like I needed permission to not worry about it. Like, it's your holiday too. Why are you doting on everyone and not enjoying your holiday?
You know, you go through the holiday break, the kids go back to school, you're going back to work, and you haven't even felt like you had a... you didn't really enjoy it.
And so it was really kind of eye-opening for me. And that's when I was then more interested in talking to her about some more ongoing coaching.
And that's when I joined our group, our last cohort. So I'm really, really glad that I found it. So I guess I can thank my employer for that.
How about you, Sarah? I know that we kind of talked a little bit about how we came to know Rebecca, but tell us a little more.
From Constant Mom Guilt to a Mindset Shift
Sarah: Yes, I think I found Rebecca through her podcast, and I think I searched the phrase "mom guilt" or something like that, and it led me to one of her episodes.
Like many moms, I'm sure, who can relate, I have felt mom guilt pretty much as long as I can remember, and I was unsure of where to go with it. Like, knowing there's not really anything wrong with working or with what you're doing, why are you feeling this way?
But realizing just how much mental space it takes up—feeling this and trying to talk yourself out of it all of the time—was just a lot. And I felt like I was running in circles.
So I actually think it was around this time last year, Rebecca, when I reached out and had my first clarity call with you. And I think your cohort might have already been full. I think the next one was going to start in the fall, and it was kind of something I sat on for a while.
But Rebecca was persistent and kept in touch with me. And last fall, I decided, like, I need to do something about this.
I'm feeling stagnant. I was still feeling the mom guilt. I felt like I needed new work or a new project or a new something, a new turning of the leaf, where in reality, I think I kind of just needed to figure out how to shift my mindset.
So I signed up last fall for this spring program. And no regrets. It's been great.
Sarah Anne: So how were you, like, feeling besides some of the mom guilt leading into the program and that. That really just made you push to sign up?
"I Couldn't Solve It by Myself Anymore"
Sarah: Yeah, I think I was just overwhelmed and not sure how to, quote-unquote, solve it by myself.
You know, as someone who works from home, I think that kind of played into it too. Sometimes working from home when my kids were here, I had these weird feelings about that and wasn't sure where to go with that. My kids watching me work when they were younger.
And it was kind of just something like, I love my work. I love what I do. And it's just not something I wanted to keep stressing about, for lack of a better term, and taking up mental energy.
So I think it was kind of like I found a breaking point. Like, I wasn't able to come to a conclusion or solve it by myself, and realizing I needed some external coaching and help to do that.
And how about you, Sarah? It sounds like there was a lot of maybe pressure you were putting on yourself for making the holidays great, maybe to make up for some of that trauma, which must have been so hard to go through.
"I Never Felt Like I Could Take a Breath"
Sarah Anne: Yeah, I definitely was feeling a lot of that in addition to, I think, just... I never felt like I could take a breath.
Like, I wake up, I make the lunches, make the breakfast, we all go carry her to school, and then we carry her to work. We hit it hard all day long, and then we turn around and go home and do it all again.
And I kind of just felt really unbalanced and burnt out and like I really couldn't continue to go on like that. Like, something has to change.
And I had gone to all sorts of therapy things, and yes, I've answered, and I know in my brain some of the things that I need to do and to help guide myself in the right direction when I sometimes get in a swirl.
But I didn't ever have anyone really give me any tools, like succinct tools, the way that I was able to get from Rebecca's program.
And I think that, for me, was... I needed something that was tangible and could help me kind of get over that hump. Like, I felt like I'd get better, I'd get almost over it, and then I'd kind of fall back down and fall back into the same cycle of feeling that way. And then I would work on it again. And then I...
So I think really the program helped provide me tools to get over that threshold, to really feel like I have a toolbox, and I know how to implement those tools to be more balanced and more present.
Sarah: Yeah.
Sarah Anne: What about you, Sarah? I guess we'll kind of dive into what did you get out of the program? What would you share with everyone that you think were big takeaways?
From Feeling Unbalanced to Finding Clarity and Confidence
Sarah: Yeah. So for background, we started in January, and there were maybe eight or nine of us together, which I had gone back and forth deciding—is individual coaching what I need or group coaching?
And I think, honestly, I would have benefited from both. But what I loved about the group aspect was just, first of all, the solidarity of it.
Many of us are struggling with many of the same things here. And yes, we all have little different aspects of life and, you know, maybe childcare and work hours. But in the essence of it, we're all kind of stressed and feeling unbalanced. So here we are.
So I think it was great to kind of be in the room every week with women who understood it and, you know, could say things in a different way or resonate with what we're saying. So that was really powerful.
And I think some of the big takeaways for me were really becoming more clear. Like, the clarity aspect, I think, is one that we focus on a lot.
And for me, it's like I've done values work before, like, write your values down. And, you know, I kind of knew what was important to me. But like you were saying, Sarah, I didn't know how to take that further. I didn't know the tools.
So, yes, owning a business is important to me. But then what? So I think becoming clear about that, becoming clear about work hours and non-work hours, and, you know, when I'm working, that's what I'm focused on. I'm kind of putting maternal instincts to the side. And rather than thinking about both all day, every day, I think that was really, really powerful for me.
And the self-confidence aspect. So really, we talk a lot with Rebecca about how these feelings are neutral. Just because you have a doubtful feeling doesn't necessarily mean you're doing something wrong.
And I think kind of brainwashing myself into that and really saying things and eventually starting to believe them was really, really helpful.
So I think those were kind of some of my big takeaways. What about you?
The Four Time Buckets That Changed Everything
Sarah Anne: I would say for me, the kind of breaking your day up into work time, non-work time, me time, and one-on-one kid time. And until Rebecca kind of broke it down into those four buckets, like, it's not rocket science, but it really helped me keep my boundaries on. When I'm off, I'm off.
And when I'm on one-on-one time with my child—or children—I don't think I ever really took the time to make that part of my day. But then how much more my bucket feels filled after doing that, and then putting the kids to bed and taking 30 minutes to myself to do whatever I want.
I had to brainstorm activities to do in my me time, even though I have enough hobbies to fill someone's basement. Like, it was just mind-boggling because I never took me time after I had my first child. So it's been like—I mean, he just turned five—so it's been five years. It's crazy.
But for me, that was the most eye-opening aspect of the program besides the clarity. And as a result, I really do feel more confident in all of my decisions around what I'm spending my time on.
I think there was, similar to mom guilt, this inner dialogue that was probably would-ing, could-ing, should-ing myself all the time. Like, "Oh, I should be doing this other thing," or "I could..." You know, it's all the time instead of just focusing my time.
And I will say, I remember one of our group calls. We talked about how it's not needing more hours and more time in the day. It's spending that time more efficiently. And it's incredible. I've noticed a massive difference in how quickly and more succinctly I make decisions at work and complete my work.
And I feel, at the end of the day, after I do the work-to-home transition from work to home, I feel completely accomplished. Like, yes, I set out wanting to do these things. I got them done. My clients are happy, and I feel like I had a great day.
And then I go home, and I'm a great mom at home. So for me, those were the really, really big takeaways in the program.
Letting Go of the Guilt Around Rest
Sarah: Ah, yeah. I would echo what you say too, just about the four containers that we kind of learned to think about our time in. Because previously it was very binary for me, like I'm working or I'm not.
And if I'm not working, I have to spend time exercising, and I have to do the chores and spend the one-on-one time. But thinking about it as, well, where's your time for me, and where's the connection? It's almost just made it mentally easier to fit it into a container.
Like, okay, this is not work time, and this is self-care or relaxed time. And I'm allowing myself to watch that show because I've planned for it, and it fits within these containers. Rather than feeling guilty about, "I'm not working right now. I should be doing all of this stuff."
So I think that was very powerful and something I'll continue to reiterate, you know, with daily affirmations every day and habits, hopefully, to build on.
And yeah, I think that was something very powerful that would have taken me years to come up with on my own and, you know, something that the program taught us pretty quickly off the bat.
All right, Sarah, so I think we gave a good overview of the program. So let's kind of fast-forward to now. How are you feeling now, and what do you feel like are some of the main results and aspects that have changed since doing the program?
The Biggest Result? Confidence.
Sarah Anne: I would say, well, how I spend my time has massively changed since I started the program, in a good way. But the biggest end result, I really believe, is confidence.
I am way more confident at work, even at home. Not that I wasn't confident at home, but I think I'm standing up for myself a little bit more. I was raised in a Southern family where you're supposed to dote on your husband and make him feel like he's waited on hand and foot. And our house is not that way, but it is a little bit that way.
So I'm trying to raise young gentlemen to dote on their mother and their future wife. But I kind of found myself catering to how everybody else was feeling in the house. And now it's not my job. Like, they have a roof over their head. They are being fed. It's well taken care of. It's not my responsibility to make sure that everyone is smiling 24/7, 365.
And so with that, I think the confidence is the biggest thing, both at work and at home, that I took away from the program. But I think that really ultimately came from the daily work.
Even though it was daily, and it seemed like the questions we were answering every day weren't mind-blowing, the fact is, Rebecca says it so well, it's like rewiring your brain. You're harvesting a cornfield, and we're having to work at it for a while because we've put these big corn stalks up, and we planted them all very close, and it's hard to walk through the field. So we need to keep working on harvesting those and making way for the new thoughts and the new inner dialogue.
I think that was the biggest thing for me because, until I started really doing the program and then listening to myself, I was like, my goodness, I am not nice to myself.
And if you start listening to yourself, it's like, wow. If myself was my friend, I would say she's totally a mean girl.
So definitely, that inner dialogue—I didn't realize how much it affected my confidence. But at the end of the day, I think that was, for me, the biggest result of the program besides how I spend my time. It was the confidence and the self-talk in my head.
So, I don't know about you, Sarah, if you had some mean girl in you.
What Makes You Amazing? The Exercise That Changed Self-Talk
Sarah: Yeah, I mean, I'm thinking back to one of our group calls. Rebecca had us all write down what makes us amazing. And it's kind of exactly what you're talking about because we all have that negative self-talk.
I think part of it's just maybe innate or feeling like we have to be perfect, which no one can live up to that standard, right? So when we made our list about what makes us amazing, we all kind of went around the group and read it off, and we're all saying, "Oh, I feel like Superwoman. Like, this sounds great." And really giving ourselves the pat on the back that we deserve.
So yeah, I think that inner cheerleader was definitely nourished throughout this program for all of us. And I think seeing growth in each one of us, myself included, resonates so much with the cornfield analogy and just the rewiring of negative thoughts.
For myself, in terms of the mom guilt, it's like rewiring that into something more productive because that's not doing anything for me. It's not making me feel great. I'm not doing anything wrong. And knowing I have my allotted work hours, I am able to produce and be productive in those hours.
So self-confidence also—in myself, in my work, and just in the process—knowing that it does take time to rewire thoughts, but taking the time to kind of challenge some of those negative thoughts that maybe we've believed for so long, that's been a really great change for me.
Why Motivation Matters Less Than Having a Plan
And throughout the program, I shared often in our weekly calls, like, "I'm just not feeling motivated. What do I do?" And, you know, I think we all have days like that, but that can't be the impetus to just not do work.
So realizing, again, kind of like feelings are neutral and, for me, planning ahead of time what I'm going to work on, whether I feel motivated or not. You know, it's in the plan. I've already decided. This took away a lot of that mental energy too.
And having you all as cheerleaders throughout the way for some of those harder days or emotional turmoil times, I think was really helpful.
So yeah, I would reiterate the self-confidence. I would reiterate the rerouting of negative thoughts. And I would just say I'm more intentional in general now—more intentional about the time I'm working, more intentional about maybe what I can outsource, both home- and work-wise.
And all of that is just kind of helping me feel more balanced in home and work life.
Sarah Anne: Well, knowing that we got amazing things out of the program, was this the first time that you have done something like this where you've invested in yourself, or have you done something else that you've invested in yourself before? Tell us a little more about that, Sarah.
Why Investing in Yourself Feels Harder Than Investing in Your Business
Sarah: Yeah, so I've done, you know, the one-on-one therapy, and I've done the work kind of group masterminds, so sort of investment on a little bit of a different scale.
But I felt like investing personally in these things was important. And I would say I've never invested in my personal growth in such a way. I've never had a life coach or one-on-one coach in that aspect.
So it was something I was a little nervous to do, but I was very proud of myself because it feels easier to invest in the business, but it feels harder to invest in myself for some reason.
Like, even though as the mom of the household, we're caring for other people, we're carrying so much of the mental load, we need nourishing too.
So I think it was a really big step for myself, and I'm so glad I did it.
And if listeners out there are afraid of taking that next step, it's definitely worth it to kind of go through a zone where you might feel a little less comfortable in order to grow.
So I would urge you all to do that. What about you, Sarah? Have you invested in yourself in this way before?
"Money Shouldn't Be the Barrier"
Sarah Anne: I'm like you. I had gone to therapy and probably never really got that far because by the time I either met someone that was helping me make progress, they moved on, or I moved on and got bored with it.
And I kept feeling like I was rehashing the same things, and we weren't getting to the crux of it. Of, you know, yes, I've had a lot of trauma in my life. Yes, that suitcase does need to be unpacked, and we can talk about that. But it just felt like, okay, then what? Then what?
And so, having found Rebecca and talking to her, kind of learning more about the program, it was kind of like, okay, wow.
And I ended up going back to my husband and talking to him about it, and he's like, "Well, you know, you say that you need something like this, and here is this opportunity."
And he's like, "Money shouldn't be the barrier of doing this." And so for me, it was an investment in myself, but I have no regrets.
Sarah: All right, Sarah, as we wrap this up, if you were to give one piece of advice to the listeners out there, a lot of the working moms, based on your experience, what would it be?
Working Moms: Stop Putting Yourself Last
Sarah Anne: Invest in yourself. It's worth it. I feel so much better since I've gone through the program, and I feel like I have tools to continue to grow and make my goals, personally and at work, achievable and conquerable.
And it's worth it. Like us working moms, we take on a lot, and we often leave ourselves last. So I'm giving you all permission to invest in yourself and do it, because it's totally worth it.
What about you, Sarah? What piece of advice would you give?
Don't Let Negative Thoughts Keep You Stuck
Sarah: I love that, Sarah. I think mine would be pretty similar. Mine would just be: don't let your negative mindsets, emotions, or feelings about yourself or your situation hold you back from exploring where you could be.
Like, if there is a place you want to get to, allow yourself to go through that growth and exploration and curiosity to get there, because it's worth it.
You could wrangle with these thoughts for years and not get anywhere. But when you have an outside voice or outside group walking along with you, it's very powerful.
And I think many of us try to be the person we were before kids. And it's just the fact that we're different. We're changed. Our situations are different now. And you may be able to accomplish the same amount, you may not. And either way, none of that is indicative of the kind of person you are.
And I think we all deserve to feel good about our home life and our work life. So yeah, go chase it.
Sarah Anne: So, I know we talked about investing in ourselves, and, you know, I think a great way to try it out and put your toe in the water is that Rebecca is offering Mental Load Reset Calls.
This is very similar to the call that I did around the holidays—a 30-minute consultation. I think it's something that allowed me to get enough of the flavor of understanding some things about myself and get some good advice from an outside source, but then realize the impact of, okay, wow, that was just 30 minutes. Like, what if I did something else?
So give it a try. I recommend that for all the listeners out there.
Sarah: Yeah, I think that's a great opportunity.
Sarah Anne: Well, I think with that, I know—I hate to say it—but I gotta run. So it was great seeing you, Sarah and Rebecca. I hope you guys have a great day, and we'll see you later.
Sarah: Yeah, thanks, Sarah. And I think most of everything we talked about will be in the show notes for all of you listeners. Have a great day.
The Mental Load Reset
One sec before you go, I want you to know that every woman who has ever transformed her life inside one of my programs started the same way.
One session. Thirty minutes. Just the two of us.
In this strategy session, we cut through the noise of your life and get specific about what's actually driving your overwhelm. You walk away with one concrete thing to do about it.
And most women tell me this is the clearest they have felt in months. I've opened up a few of these Mental Load Reset spots exclusively for podcast listeners for $9.
If you've been listening and thinking, "Oh, I wish I could chat with Rebecca without making any sort of coaching commitment," this is the next step. And it's the one that makes everything else start to make sense.
There's a link in the show notes. Grab your Mental Load Reset spot, and I'll see you there.
